feeling out of sorts

Old 10-19-2008, 10:59 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: buffalo ny
Posts: 167
feeling out of sorts

So, my husband is due home on work release in about a month. He is addicted to crack, has had 2 1/2 years of prison clean time. I have a strong faith in God, and I beleive he has a plan for me. I believe I have to give my husband once more chance.

I was ready for the negative feedback from my family and friends, but HIS daughter called me yesterday to tell me she wasn't ready to see her Dad, let her Dad around her kids. She had asked me to babysit for her in November, and told me that I will have to come to her house for that, she wont bring the kids to me if her Dad's home.

Now, all through this prison thing, Stepdaughter has been great. She encouraged me to visit my husband, going with me on that 3 hour there 3 hour back trip. She TOOK HER KIDS to see him. And now????

I understand she's scared. He has hurt and disappointed children before. I understand her wanting to protect her children from that hurt. BUT I don't like her putting me in the middle.

I told her that; I wouldn't choose between her and her Dad (remember, she's my step daughter). she seemed surprised, but ok.

I dont know why I posted. I guess I need to vent to people who get how hard this is.
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Old 10-19-2008, 11:26 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
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She probably is scared. It's one thing to go visit him, and leave him there, but another when he's out. She's probably afraid he will make promises to the kids (and her) and he won't follow through.

I agree that you shouldn't be put in the middle, and glad you stood your ground.

I also understand wanting to give him another chance, but I would highly recommend you have a backup plan in case he doesn't stay clean, like money set aside that he can't get to if you can. Go by his actions, not his words. Regaining trust in someone takes a long time and that's okay..he needs to earn that trust.

I hope he does find recovery, but whether or not he does, keep taking care of you.

Hugs and prayers!

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Old 10-19-2008, 03:32 PM
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Thanks "Purr"! Oh yeah I have a back up plan! First of all, I had to declare bankrupcy after the last fiasco, so I have no credit cards and awful credit. I have an alert placed on my account that no one can put money in or take money out but me. I have post office box.
AND....if this doesn't work, I'm moving to California to live closer to my brother.
Seriously, this is his last chance.
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