I can't get it together
 

It has been five months since my son and his girlfriend had their children taken away. The baby was born addicted to methadone and was in ICU and weaned with morphine over 4 weeks. 4 days after he was home I picked him and his 2 year old brother up from a court date. In five months they have seen their parents for ten hours, they have bonded to others. They are wonderful! Their parents have accomplished none of their 4 court ordered goals. They have managed to have negative drug screens for two weeks. We go to court on Thursday and the state is requesting permanancy planning begin which effectively starts the process of terminating the parental rights and allowing adoption to begin.

All the stories of mothers and their children live as ghosts on this site and in my mind. WE all have this in common, our love for our children and the grief in losing them to their addiction.

On Thursday my 2 daughter's and I (they each have one of the children) have been subpoened to testify for the prosecution. We will face my son that day and say the children should not be returned. My son has informed me and his state social worker that he will kill himself immediately after the hearing if that happens. A promise? A threat? Although I know I am not responsible for this, I cannot get away from my dreams or nightmares.:a043:

Prior to the court date, the judge and the prosecutor should be told of his intentions - be it a threat, a promise or empty words. They show his inability to put the welfare of his children first, thus his inability to care for them. And the judge can order counseling or placement for mental health care for your son.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this painful situation. :hug:
Please take care of yourself, and know that his actions are outside of your control.

Shalom!

(((wenchris)))
Wow, I can't imagine how difficult this must be.
Its out of your hands, hon, and out of your control. I would have to tell the truth, even if that truth hurts your son. The babies are innocent and defenseless in this...what a sad, sad shame.
Bottoms are hit very hard for some...sending prayers that your son hits his bottom and seeks help...its there for him.
Its up to him.
Big Mom((((Hugs)))

I'm so sorry - I can't imagine how painful this must be. I think Teach's idea of making sure someone knows of his words makes sense. After that, it is out of your hands. As hard as this is, you are speaking the truth and protecting those innocent children. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family.

Oh wow, a spot to be in. But I think that someone should as well what he said. You have to protect those babies...

Even though there is that sense of loss and sadness in losing our own kids to addiction, what a blessing that those precious little ones are safe and in loving homes.

I can't imagine the pain you are experiencing and your family has my prayers.

((wenchris)) It's not easy, but try to focus on the good you've done, those children are lucky to have you in their lives; they can't speak for themselves, I'm glad you are there to speak for them. You will do what you know in your heart is right. I'm sorry this is so difficult.

Dear Chris, I am so sorry you are going through this pain. I am so sorry your daughters have been put into a position where they must testify against their brother so his children will be safe.
About 7 yrs ago my sons ex took him to court to sever his parental rights and have her husband adopt their 2 young sons. We hired him a lawyer to help him fight this, we know he was not fit to parent but thought he should at least have Supervised visitation until the day when he could prove himself fit. He wound up losing even with an attorney.
To this day I don't think he should have had his parental rights severed like that. He should have been given a chance to clean up his act with Supervised visits & he should have been told that unless he got help & got himself clean & sober he would lose them.
I know the pain you are going through. Addiction is a terrible disease and destroys families. I am so sorry. Tell someone what your son has threatened. Threats of suicide should be taken very seriously.
You & your whole family will be in my thoughts & prayers.
Love,
Diane

((((((Chris))))))))))))
No easy position for you to be in.
At times like these, you know you must do what is right for these two babies.
Would an intervention this week with the offer of an inpatient treatment facility immediately be a possibility for your son? My son was unable to figure it our for himself, but when I set up an inpatient for him, he went and he's been in recovery 8 mos. now.

Sending prayers for your family. You are in a tough position. None of us know what the future holds for our addicted children. But you are doing the right thing for those precious babies. Hugs, Marle

((wenchris))

I can't imagine what you are going through. I agree with the others above, and it very well may be that your son may need to be baker acted. If there is just one small chance that he would hurt himself, he needs to be committed. It could be a blessing in disguise.

For you and your daughters and those babies, try to take comfort in the fact that there is a reason for why things are unfolding as they are, HP has surrounded those babies with human angels (you).

Hugs and lots of Prayers
B

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.
You and your family are in my prayers.
God Bless the children.

I also believe that you and your daughters are those precious babies guardian angels here on earth.

Hugs,

((wenchris))

You are in my thoughts as you go through this.

Joan

The permutations of situations caused by addiction are mind-numbing!! What a horrible situation. The blessing here is that the children will wind up with loving guardians to raise and love them.

Hopefully your son and his girlfriend will get help and in someway be able to participate in the lives of their children.

Prayers being sent your way.

sorry you have to go through this, I know from experience that this pain must be unbearable.

The babies must come first. The courts will do what is best for the kids.

Prayers for you, your son, and grandkids.
susan

Thank you all. I spent an hour with my psychologist tonight. The court is aware of my son's words and say they will have a plan dependent upon what is decided tomorrow. I can only plan to be honest and speak from my heart rationally. I am worried about my daughters and hope they will hold up okay. I am very grateful for your support.