greeteachday

I agree that their recovery is about them; that counselors for the most part are very dedicated and passionate about their jobs and that there is a reason for no contact rules (indeed, I wished at the times when my daughter was going through those initial days in rehab, that there would be not just a no contact rule, but actually no phones around too. Finally I learned the choice to answer or not was mine).
However, maybe I am just overanalyzing this, but it seems that a hospital staff person asked Eileen to call the rehab and ask them to call the hospital...She did so; they didn't hear the message correctly and they showed up instead. As a result, Eileen is yelled at. To me that has little to do with her son's recovery and more like the counselor had a bad day and a bad reaction. IMO, no one deserves to be treated that way. Let it go? Sure why not, but I think her feelings about what happened are valid.

I also know that I have snapped at people who didn't deserve to be snapped at because I was stressed. I know better now and at least when I do, I try to catch myself and apologize. This post has made me think about the many times I didn't, regardless of how legitimate my stress was, and I hope that somehow I have a way to make amends to anyone that I treated so poorly.

Eileen, I hope that she has thought about her reaction as much as you have thought about the experience and that the next conversation includes an apology. Hugs.

sistergldnhair

I should be getting a call from the counselor today. She said she'd call by the end of the week for an update. I of course, have settled down a bit since the phone call. I didn't hear from him all week (good thing, as doing so would mean he was breaking rules). I hope for a more pleasant phone call this time, and I will feel out the mood of the phone call, as to whether I bring up the other one. At the very least, I'd like to tell her that I was very upset at the call, and the tone, and not for nothing, my nerves are raw the past few weeks, and I'm just muddling through a sticky situation best I know how.
I'll let you know if anything is said, and thanks for all the concern. It's nice to come to a place where "our" feelings count, instead of the addicts.


Eileen

Neverwanted

It really is a help to read the posts here and learn. Sure is an isolating experience at times.

historyteach

Did you hear?

And how'd it go if you did?
I hope you got an apology, or at least good vibes.
The recovery *is* about him; not you. You had no reason to get the brunt of the counselor's stress...or whatever it was. And I'm sorry that you had to endure it.
JMHO

Shalom!

sistergldnhair

Yes, she called Tuesday morning. I didn't say anything about the hurt feelings as she was pleasant on the phone, and even apologized several times for not calling me at the end of the week. She asked if she was supposed to? and I said yes, you said you'd call the end of last week. "I'm sorry, I must not have wrote it down, that's not like me". and she apologized a few more times.

All I cared to hear was that AS is doing well. He's got alot of work to do, working on behaviors and attitudes, but she said he is showing some positive things, he's not speaking of leaving, no bad or suicidal thoughts, he's taking some constructive criticisim from his peers in group. He shaved and got such good response from the others that he's thinking of cutting his hair (think Gregg Allman). She said she'd call next week and let him speak to me as well.

Thanks for caring.

Stubborn1

For me personally Effexor did not work. I was out of breath and pure exhausted from it. I would sweat like crazy. I have to agree they should change his anti depressants. I switched to Lexapro and it has been a godsend.
Everyone reacts differently. They had my husband on something and he flipped and had thoughts of killing me and himself and he's not like that at all. He was fine once he stopped the anti depressants.

historyteach

I'm glad it went well for you...
And my prayers are with your boy. I hope he does well. Glad he's feeling better about himself. It can make a world of difference.

Shalom!