So Upset Again!!!
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
So Upset Again!!!
I didn't even relax & get used to the fact that Joey was in Wk Release & had found a job in his own field, and if he behaved after 2 mts he could even get a furlough and come home for the holiday that I am fearful he might have messed up again.
He was suppossed to wk Mon-Sat. He called me last around 11am yesterday. I was a little short cuz I was busy so we hung up but he never called back. I was almost sure he had to wk today & this am at 8:50 I called there & they said he wasn;t in yet. I told them to have him call when he got there, now its almost 3pm & still no call. I know he told Chris he was going to stop for a few beers on the way back to Wk Release last nite.
I KNOW there is nothing I can do & if he messed up & I am trying to keep very busy BUT what is WRONG with him is he that stupid.......noone can be that stupid. I am not calling Wk Release or his work again. I put him in God's Hands.
I am going to bread chicken for chicken parmesan.
My one little grandson Jordan is here & the other one will be here soon & that will keep me busy. I am gonna do a load of wash also.
He was suppossed to wk Mon-Sat. He called me last around 11am yesterday. I was a little short cuz I was busy so we hung up but he never called back. I was almost sure he had to wk today & this am at 8:50 I called there & they said he wasn;t in yet. I told them to have him call when he got there, now its almost 3pm & still no call. I know he told Chris he was going to stop for a few beers on the way back to Wk Release last nite.
I KNOW there is nothing I can do & if he messed up & I am trying to keep very busy BUT what is WRONG with him is he that stupid.......noone can be that stupid. I am not calling Wk Release or his work again. I put him in God's Hands.
I am going to bread chicken for chicken parmesan.
My one little grandson Jordan is here & the other one will be here soon & that will keep me busy. I am gonna do a load of wash also.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Rozied, I'm sorry - No he isn't stupid, he simply suffers from addiction. Trying to figure out why an addict does what he does will just drive you nuts. If he is still drinking, he is using drugs - alcohol is a drug. Sadly, it just doesn't sound like he is fully aware of the consequences of use - any use. Sounds like he still has some more research.
I'm glad you are focusing on those cute little grand kids and trying not to think about it. He will do what he will do and we are all powerless over that. It stinks...just stinks, but as long as you keep taking care of you, things will get better! Hugs to you my friend.
I'm glad you are focusing on those cute little grand kids and trying not to think about it. He will do what he will do and we are all powerless over that. It stinks...just stinks, but as long as you keep taking care of you, things will get better! Hugs to you my friend.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Stopping for a few beers is a huge red flag, in my opinion.
When I first went to rehab, I knew I had a drug problem, no doubt. I wasn't sure about alcohol. However, I had seen my then husband go through 30 day in-patient, and was right back to the meth and whiskey the same day. It scared me badly enough to keep an open mind about being an alcoholic.
I can honestly tell you that after 4 years clean/sober, I quit doing a lot of the things I had been doing in my recovery.
I was already sick again mentally and spirtually a good 90 days before I picked up that first drink.
My sick mind told me that I could just go out one time, get drunker than hell, and jump back into recovery.
It didn't work that way and I was out there for two months. I even did cocaine, which I hated.
Abstaining is NOT recovery.
I'm so sorry for your pain, but he's just not done yet.
:ghug2
When I first went to rehab, I knew I had a drug problem, no doubt. I wasn't sure about alcohol. However, I had seen my then husband go through 30 day in-patient, and was right back to the meth and whiskey the same day. It scared me badly enough to keep an open mind about being an alcoholic.
I can honestly tell you that after 4 years clean/sober, I quit doing a lot of the things I had been doing in my recovery.
I was already sick again mentally and spirtually a good 90 days before I picked up that first drink.
My sick mind told me that I could just go out one time, get drunker than hell, and jump back into recovery.
It didn't work that way and I was out there for two months. I even did cocaine, which I hated.
Abstaining is NOT recovery.
I'm so sorry for your pain, but he's just not done yet.
:ghug2
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
He was suppossed to wk Mon-Sat. He called me last around 11am yesterday. I was a little short cuz I was busy so we hung up but he never called back. I was almost sure he had to wk today & this am at 8:50 I called there & they said he wasn;t in yet. I told them to have him call when he got there, now its almost 3pm & still no call.
Like Greet said, that is great you are focusing on the babies,
, he's a big boy let him take care of himself. You get to find and create your own serenity or keep yourself in his chaosis, and really you do not know what is going on with him, the projection of what could be is driving you places you don't need to really go?Be good to yourself, you deserve it.
JMO..
******>>}}}
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
I thank you. I was just so hopeful he would make it in Wk Release this time. It is hard to believe after all he went through to get there & then he even got a job in his field without a drivers license, I never thought he would jeapordize it all to go out for a few beers. I wish he would have told me what he planned to do instead of his brother. I would have tried to tell him not to go. When you are in Wk Release as far as I know all you are allowed to do is go to work, then go back to Wk Release. Now if he didn't get back to Wk Release last night God only knows where he is. As far as I know, noone has heard a word since 6pm last nite when he called his brother.
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
I try to keep really busy so I won't think about it. You know when you love someone & they call you everyday, then all of a sudden you don't hear from them..................even when you know how they are, you cannot help but worry until you know where they are, and if they are safe.
It shouldn't have surprised me after all these years. Thats why I was so against his father helping him get a lawyer. I haven't called him since he did that. If he hadn't Joey would still be in jail, not out God knows where. I will be happy if he makes it back to jail again without winding up dead. Now if I am right ( I hope to God I'm not ) he will be in more trouble.
He is in God's Hands, I just pray he is safe.
It shouldn't have surprised me after all these years. Thats why I was so against his father helping him get a lawyer. I haven't called him since he did that. If he hadn't Joey would still be in jail, not out God knows where. I will be happy if he makes it back to jail again without winding up dead. Now if I am right ( I hope to God I'm not ) he will be in more trouble.
He is in God's Hands, I just pray he is safe.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i have been right where you are. my son always called me at least every other day. there were times i wished he didn't because i was right when he did not call i knew what he was doing. i hope your son did not have to work today. i hope he calls & he is ok. if he isn't try to let it go. it takes alot of pratice. you know there is nothing we can do. we all want good things for our sons(addicts) but we can not give it to them. they have to earn it. prayers for you both & hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Rozied, my bottom before I was taken to rehab was hideous.
I am 6' tall and I only weighed 109 pounds. I was pregnant, and so weak I couldn't even hold my head up for long. I miscarried in rehab.
I had blown out all the veins in my arms (I was an IV drug user).
My parents had no idea about my addictions, only that I had made a huge mistake in marrying the man that I did. They thought all the weight loss and me not answering the phone for days was because of him. They knew I drank, but didn't know about the drugs.
Today I understand why they were scared for me; I really do.
However, my marriage to that violent psychotic addict/alcoholic, along with my own addictions, is what finally brought me to my knees.
I know it's hard to have faith sometimes, but God never left my side and he knew exactly what I needed to go through to surrender.
That man I was married to was buried last year at the age of 47. He contracted HIV while sharing needles and died from complications due to AIDS. I will always be grateful for the part he played in my life because that's what it took for me to finally give up and find a new way to live.
What may seem to be the worst things in your son's life may turn out to be blessings in disguise in the long run.
Let go of hope and expectations, and replace those with faith, faith that a loving God will be there watching over your son, just as he as been watching over me all my life, even through the worst of it.
:ghug
I am 6' tall and I only weighed 109 pounds. I was pregnant, and so weak I couldn't even hold my head up for long. I miscarried in rehab.
I had blown out all the veins in my arms (I was an IV drug user).
My parents had no idea about my addictions, only that I had made a huge mistake in marrying the man that I did. They thought all the weight loss and me not answering the phone for days was because of him. They knew I drank, but didn't know about the drugs.
Today I understand why they were scared for me; I really do.
However, my marriage to that violent psychotic addict/alcoholic, along with my own addictions, is what finally brought me to my knees.
I know it's hard to have faith sometimes, but God never left my side and he knew exactly what I needed to go through to surrender.
That man I was married to was buried last year at the age of 47. He contracted HIV while sharing needles and died from complications due to AIDS. I will always be grateful for the part he played in my life because that's what it took for me to finally give up and find a new way to live.
What may seem to be the worst things in your son's life may turn out to be blessings in disguise in the long run.
Let go of hope and expectations, and replace those with faith, faith that a loving God will be there watching over your son, just as he as been watching over me all my life, even through the worst of it.
:ghug
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Well still no word from Joey. The last time anyone in the family heard from hin was 6PM Friday. He called his brother from work & told him about going out for a few beers cuz he was leaving work a little early and they were covering for him. Chris tried to talk him out of it, told him Joe you should be happy you can even have a coke, don't do it.
Well I really don't know for a fact that something is wrong. I just feel it in my bones.
Just praying he is safe. Oh what a fool if he did anything to jeapordize himself again.
Well I really don't know for a fact that something is wrong. I just feel it in my bones.
Just praying he is safe. Oh what a fool if he did anything to jeapordize himself again.
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Hi Rozied
I learned that it was my sons life to make mistakes, to fall hard, to cry, to be happy, to be sad, to want me, to not want me, to love and hate. I tried to protect him for many years. Rozied you can still be his mum by just standing in the background and being there when he really needs you. I just accepted that my son had to do what he did for as long as he did to find his own way. I love my son so much but I love him enough to now let him be the man he will be.
Love to you honey.
I learned that it was my sons life to make mistakes, to fall hard, to cry, to be happy, to be sad, to want me, to not want me, to love and hate. I tried to protect him for many years. Rozied you can still be his mum by just standing in the background and being there when he really needs you. I just accepted that my son had to do what he did for as long as he did to find his own way. I love my son so much but I love him enough to now let him be the man he will be.
Love to you honey.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
(((Rozied))
I know, you know, that it's up to him to make his own choices.
But knowing that doesn't lessen our love for our sons.
Being a parent, we pray they make the right choices, but sometimes they don't. And that's okay, because maybe they need to learn one more lesson on their way to recovery.
hugs from this mom to you....
I know, you know, that it's up to him to make his own choices.
But knowing that doesn't lessen our love for our sons.
Being a parent, we pray they make the right choices, but sometimes they don't. And that's okay, because maybe they need to learn one more lesson on their way to recovery.
hugs from this mom to you....
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
