Im new, my brother is an addict
 

My name is nichole and my brother is a heroin addict, he is 21 yrs old and a wonderful guy with a heart of gold, he just has this horrible addiction that is pulling him under. He was using pills first for 10 months and then started with heroin for about 2 months, he went to detox, the rehab and then a halfway house where he relaspsed about 2 weeks ago and they kicked him out, he has only used that one time so he says and has been sleeping out on the street, i told him to come to my home until he can get into another place but im in another state about 2 hrs away and i guess thats just too far away from the girl he met in detox that he is seeing, shes a nice girl but he shouldnt be involved right now, and hes worrying about her instead of himself. this is killing me, im up all night, sick to my stomach, having panic attacks, and even not paying as much attention to my 8 month old son, i love my brother with all my heart but just dont know what to do, am i really helpless? How do i sit back and watch him destroy his life??????? On top of this he may go to jail tomorrow, he violated his probation awhile back and has a surrender hearing...........someone please talk to me, i need to talk and understand from others what i need to do.........thank you

(((Nichole)))

Welcome to SR, but I'm sorry for the reason you are here.

As hard as it may be, the best thing you can do is let your brother face the consequences of his using..even if it means jail, being homeless, whatever.

I'm a recovering addict, and if anyone had made things easier on me while I was using, I would probably still be using.

No matter how much you love him, you cannot make him seek recovery. This is something only he can do, and he probably won't do it until he gets tired of the life he's living, and/or faces some heavy consequences.

I recommend al-anon or nar-anon meetings. They will give you f2f support, and help you learn how to focus on you. Focusing on you doesn't mean you don't love your brother..it means you love him enough to take care of you and let him find his own way.

An addict will take you down with them, if you let them. It's not something they do intentionally, but the only thing they can think about is the drugs. Even when we stop using, we have to learn how to deal with life in a different way. There's way more to recovery than simply not using.

I'm glad you're here. There are some wonderful people who know what you're going through. It helps when we realize we are not alone.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

I agree with Amy. Let him face the consequences. You really don't want him living with you. If you think you are having a problem now, it will get worse. Detaching is never an easy thing to do but believe me when I tell you, it is the only thing you can do with addiction. He is an adult and as such he must find his own way to recovery. It is not something that any amount of crying, begging, pleading will help. Find some Alanon or Naranon meetings. They really do help. Hugs, Marle

I did a search for the nar anon meetings and i couldnt find a single one, is there a directory for it??

Nicole,

Here's a site to find a meetings:
Nar-Anon Groups


If you cannot find Naranon in your area, attend Alanon.

Great support and understanding at those meetings!

Nichole - check out al-anon. There are usually more meetings in more areas and you will get the same support. When I first got into recovery, I went to AA meetings, even though alcohol isn't my problem. I was welcomed with open arms and got a lot of support.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

What they all said.

The best way to help him is to help yourself.

Hugs to you and I agree with everyone else. Help yourself.