Alaia

So I packed up the rest of aexbf's stuff and drove it to his parents yesterday. He knew I was going to drop it off, but he didn't see me pull into the driveway. His mom pulled up and we both thought it would be best if I just dropped it and left. It made the most sense cause if I see him, I am going to want to talk to him and give him a hug, ect. I drove away and thought I was clear but then realized that I forgot 1 thing so I had to go back. He was coming out of the house, so I saw him for a second, but still drove away. He sent me 3 texts on the way home saying he thought I was going to hang out for a little bit and that he missed me and loved me. I didn't reply..which was hard but I gotta look out for myself. I get home and there is a message on my myspace saying he did an intake interview at a program. Where is it...the same town I live in! He already knows people there and wants to get into that one. The guy gave him some good advice, but he has to go back to detox and then try to get into a holding for 30 days before they will take him. Seeing that he's been to detox twice and they couldn't place him in a holding...i don't see how this is possible this time either. he can't get into detox unless he's high either...so here we go again. He wants to try and work things out too...but says it's up to me. I just can't right now. I am going crazy. I do love him, but I don't trust him at all. The lies, the stealing, the manpulation, ect. I think, maybe he can pull himslef together but seriously do I want to go down this road again. With me pressing charges he's gonna have felonies and a record now, he'll never be able to get a good job again and everything will just be a mess. I have given him too many chances already. I am praying to be strong enough to stand my ground. I deserve so much more than this.

Impurrfect

(((Alaia)))

Good for you for not sticking around to talk/hug him.

I know this is hard now, but the more time you are away from him the easier it will get. He may, very well, recover, but it will still take a long time (if ever) for you to trust him again. In the meantime, let him work on him, and you work on you.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Alaia

That's what I told him. I told him I love him...but can't trust him and that he shouldn't worry about us right now, but to focus on himself for the time being.

JMFburns

I have heard of people working their way into society even with a prison record AND being successful - don't throw a pity party for him.

Something for me to remember when dealing w/my AS as well!

Thanks.

Impurrfect

BTW, Ailia - I've got a criminal record, too. Yes, it's harder for me to find certain jobs, but I'm focusing on what I CAN do, not what I CAN'T. He brought it on himself, sweetie, and he can deal with it.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Jody Hepler

Good recovery friend of mine was in prison for vehicular homicide, committed during a blackout and drunkenness - served years as a 20 year old.

I was invited to his 50th AA birthday party last year - he retired from the NC Correctional System - from a big deal job! If you have an opportunity, listen to Tom I.'s from NC AA speaker cd.

With recovery comes lots of miracles.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

Alaia

He has a warrant on him for not going to court Tuesday. It was sent to my house yesterday. I didn't tell him I got it because I feel he did the crime now he can do the time. I think he is going into detox again today and then to a holding for 30 days. Can they go arrest him while he is there?

Also, he keep asking me if I loved him still. My response was that you don't treat someone you love like that. He kept baggering me to find out if I would wait for him while he completed his program and wants to know if we can get back together or if this was the end. I told him he couldn't guarentee me that he can stay clean after being in a program and that I don't trust him at all. I told him to stop asking me questions I cannot answer right now. I told him he needs to take this time and focus on himself and not to worry about us right now. He seemed to understand that. It makes me feel a little better knowing he is safe now and has some time to focus on him and his addiction. It also gives me time to focus on myself and hit up some alanon meetings. I think I am going to enjoy this time to really do some soul searching and taking care of myself. It's nice to be able to bring my checkbook into my own home again. Ahhh, the simple things in life. At least things have finally calmed down and I can breathe for now.

Denise37

Good for you...I know it's hard, I'm such a sucker for that stuff...but I am proud of you ..If he's serious he'll take care of him....u take care of you ...and then who knows...


Love n prayers!!