whereami

I went to the ER today hemmoraging after giving birth 2 months ago. THey tested me and told me to go to a reg doc to check for cysts etc but that the bleeding would stop with a bc pill hopefully...point is my ab called in sick yesterday to take a day off and now today he didn't want to call in because of whatever reason. I drove myself hemmoraging with the baby in tow to my moms who he doesnt even want me speaking to and she took off work to admit me to the ER he never came or called only texted and told me to keep in touch. When I got out he texted saying that if it were serious they would have kept me there. I felt so alone and he knows how much I hate hospitals not to mention I was bleeding all over the place. When he finally called he said he wasnt coming home on time and that he may be 2 hours late. He has no sympathy and is so cold, he actually tried to blame me for pulling this **** and told me he wasnt going to argue with me?! What is going on?! Wouldnt someone who loves you come immediately if you were in this situation? Help

Callie

Yes they would. I think it's time you re-evaluate your R. You don't need toxic things in your life like your AB if this is the way he treats you. Sober or not. Focus on your new baby, yourself and getting well. Let him fend for himself. He's treating you like dirt and you deserve waaaay better than what he's giving you. I'm sorry to be blunt, but nobody deserves to be treated like dirt. You're a brand new mom with HIS baby. You should be treated like a queen right now.

Limiya

I agree with Callie that you should be treated like a queen. You just had his baby.
Addict or not, you didn't deserve that.

My boyfriend is an addict and binges, but i know for a fact if i was rushed to hospital for anything, he'd be straight there and by my side, even if he was wasted.
Sometimes people are just selfish and think about themself. Has he always been like this? or just when using?

You and your baby are important right now. You both should be cherished, and the last thing you need is to worry about if your abf is going to be by your side.

I hope you're feeling a lot better physically if not emotionally.
~Limiya~

hello-kitty

Anvil is right. Why are you letting yourself be treated this way? I can't remember. What are you getting out of it? Is his name on the house? Cuz it's a great time to change the locks and tell him to go make someone else miserable.

Your baby doesn't need her mama being treated like that. She will grow up to emulate what you do. Do you want her in that kind of relationship when she gets older? Biological father or not.

BayAreaPhoenix

I have to agree, his ACTIONS are speaking volumes - using or not, this is not what a loving, intimate relationship is about. You deserve to be loved and supported thru good times and bad! sharing and caring - that's what life's about! I am learning this, and it is so much nicer to be sharing with the caring, rather than it being one-sided!

whereami

We are renting together and we are in financial strain because I am not working and currently looking for a job. He spends a lot of money and just got a bonus check that he spent without telling me why. I think he is complaining to someone because sometimes he goves reasons for his action in the point of view that he is the victim working and not being able to do what he wants. He has cut out intimacy and now is barely hugging and kissing. It sucks so bad and I want it to work but I just dont see how

hello-kitty

Ami, do you have anywhere you can go stay for a few days? Family? Friends? Just to catch a break and get a fresh perspective? Sometimes it's much easier to make decisions once you are out of the pressure cooker.

It only will work if the two of you work it. And he's not working it. So you can spend the best days of your life and your childs life trying to get him to change or you can enjoy your baby and make a better life for the two of you. A special life - where people don't let you down, treat you bad and manipulate you. You have your whole life ahead of you and a beautiful little baby who needs all of her mamas attention right now.

Don't sacrifice your well-being and the mental well-being of your child for a rented apartment and a mean boyfriend who treats you poorly and spends his money partying instead of taking care of his responsibilities.

Please. It gets much better than where you are at right now.

whereami

Im staying at my moms looking for a job and trying not to hate myself for going backwards I feel like a failure and it sucks I love my little girl and I know she will be loved here I just hope I can get back on my feet, I feel like I am out of strength and faith and hope is so thin...my mom is a teacher and will help watch her at night so I can get a job...I hope it all goes well.

whereami

How do I get over the pain where do I go to get comfort knowing I tried so hard, I cooked for him cleaned kept the baby quiet so he could watch tv, stayed out of his wayso he wouldn't feel crowded and even cared for him just yesterday with a wet towel for his head when he was "sick" now today I go to the hospital and he works late and only texts me all day instead of calling or coming to see me. It sucks being rejected where do i go to learn how to be me again and be ok alone without him?

TTOSBT

So you left the place you were renting together and are now at your Moms?
Cool!!!
Stay there and stop worrying about him. It is time to worry about you and the baby. If the fact that he spent a bonus check when you have a brand new baby does not foretell the future for you, I don't know what will.

mooselips

Ami.
You head is in the right place, no one should be treated that way. He should be falling all over himself trying to help you.

Now..the problem is with your heart. It's hurting.

I think once you get a job, and get back on your feet, you're going to feel a whole lot better about the whole situation.

Just remember how much you, and your little girl are worth. You're worth a whole bunch more than the way he treats you.

Hugs to you and the baby...

marle

Sending you some hugs. You are in a tough spot right now, and you really do deserve better. Marle