one foot in front of the other!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 103
one foot in front of the other!!
Hello everyone!!!! WOW it has been a while since I've post. Alot going on. Since I posted last, I have started therapy. I have really realized alot about myself and RAH. We are so on a different page. SO I have FINALLY realized that my life is mine. And I have worked toward acceptance regarding our relationship. He is moving out Saturday! And I am ok with it. I never thought I could/would be ok with that. BUT I am. My kids know about the addiction. My oldest says if he wants to leave let him....how sad! my dgt. says its not going to change much anyway because he is not there for us anyway....how sad. My 8 y.o. says as long as he doesn't see me cry anymore! How sad that they have experienced this at such a young age. BUt WE are going to get through this. I just pray that they learn from this and grow stronger not weaker from this. RAH returns to anesthesia in Jan. with his DOC placed into his hands. He continues to be distant and makes comments regarding how crazy I am that I won't trust him!! The nerve! What the hell does he think! One must walk and talk the same. He knows exactly what buttons on me to push.....but I have the knowledge now to not react and give him my time! 18 years together.....How our lives have changed.....BUT I will keep walking with my head up high and keep putting one foot in front of the other and not look back! The light at the end tunnel is there. Thanks to all of you......Thanks for being there and helping me!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 103
CW...You will never know how much your PM's and posts meant to me. You truly helped me in this madness. RAH moves out Saturday and I have friends coming over Saturday night!!! How crazy is that! I am looking forward to Saturday! He moves and I am with friends. I know there will be some hard times and lonely times. I still cry at times at the loss of my husband. Addiction changed him and took a great man and father away. I can only pray that he can find his way back before it is too late with my kids. BUt the damage is done. Kids are amazing. I fought it for so long not to let them find out....to protect them. I couldn't! They have to experience their own disappointments and sadness. I can only be there to allow them to express themselves and tell them it will be ok! God is truly in control. Thank you. I will let you know how it goes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
You will definitely help your kids thru this, and they will learn how to cope with life, real life, without "help"! I know every parent wants to protect their children from pain and disappointment, but in my opinion, the greatest thing parents do is help their children experience pain and disappointment in a healthy way! Skills they will need and have then for the rest of their life!
You sound great! So does Saturday night! Having friends for support instead of isolating! You are taking care of you!!!!
You sound great! So does Saturday night! Having friends for support instead of isolating! You are taking care of you!!!!
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Good for you 11d,
It is sad to see another long marriage with children involved end but as you now know there is nothing else you can do. I ended a 10yr marriage many yrs ago cuz of addiction and I know I did the right thing. I wound up getting remarried after 10 yrs on my own.
My ex called me about 6 mts ago after almost 30yrs. He went from gambling to drugs and only got clean 5 yrs ago when he was 58yrs old. He is now 63 and trying to build some kind of life for himself. Our sons don't really want to be bothered especially the youngest 1 who is now 35,
I cried for quite a few yrs for what should have been. So expect to grieve its only normal.
Love,
Diane
It is sad to see another long marriage with children involved end but as you now know there is nothing else you can do. I ended a 10yr marriage many yrs ago cuz of addiction and I know I did the right thing. I wound up getting remarried after 10 yrs on my own.
My ex called me about 6 mts ago after almost 30yrs. He went from gambling to drugs and only got clean 5 yrs ago when he was 58yrs old. He is now 63 and trying to build some kind of life for himself. Our sons don't really want to be bothered especially the youngest 1 who is now 35,
I cried for quite a few yrs for what should have been. So expect to grieve its only normal.
Love,
Diane
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
there are good things waiting for you out there. you have made a decision & as long as you follow the light you will have a bright future. i sorry he is doing the things he does but you are doing the right things. let us know how u are.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
You do sound great!!! You and the kids now have a chance for a calm, peaceful life, so enjoy it.
As far as your husband..as time goes on, he will learn that he no longer gets the reaction he wants when he pushes your buttons and he will do it a lot less.
Keep us posted!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
As far as your husband..as time goes on, he will learn that he no longer gets the reaction he wants when he pushes your buttons and he will do it a lot less.
Keep us posted!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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