Attempted Suicide, now in ER. What should I do?
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
I don't know where you are starryeyz, but I was able to find my son a free rehab through this search link. They put him on disability and that helped pay for the treatment.
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
Most places will not let you call for the person. They need to call themselves and be persistent about getting in. If he is suicidal there is still not much you can do to force help unless he wants it.
A couple of times I was very persistent with the psychiatrist and they held my son longer than the normal 72 hours. All it took was a phone call.
Lots of prayers for your brother-in-law. No one really wants to be an addict. It's sad for them and sad for us since there is not much we can do to help.
I don't think it would hurt to give him some phone numbers or talk to the psychiatrist.
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
Most places will not let you call for the person. They need to call themselves and be persistent about getting in. If he is suicidal there is still not much you can do to force help unless he wants it.
A couple of times I was very persistent with the psychiatrist and they held my son longer than the normal 72 hours. All it took was a phone call.
Lots of prayers for your brother-in-law. No one really wants to be an addict. It's sad for them and sad for us since there is not much we can do to help.
I don't think it would hurt to give him some phone numbers or talk to the psychiatrist.
Ph.D in insanity!!
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 698
"Out of our tax dollars", The man just attempted to end his life. You think it's a big joke?
tiburon[/QUOTE]
Did I say it was a joke? No, I think it's a ploy. People like this go to great lengths to get more drugs. She should be careful.:chatter
tiburon[/QUOTE]
Did I say it was a joke? No, I think it's a ploy. People like this go to great lengths to get more drugs. She should be careful.:chatter
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Sending prayers to you and your family. I am glad your husband is going to speak with the social worker and hopefully your BIL can get the help he needs. IMO it is not enabling to help someone with mental illness to reach out and get some help. Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: pa
Posts: 260
The first time my EXAH attempted suicide he was home alone with our kids while I was at work. My son had to call 911.
He went to a treatment center (his 4th by this time).
Started drinking again 2 weeks later.
He then developed a pattern of drinking to excess calling 911 himself and going to the ER.
COMING HOME THE NEXT DAY TO DRINK AGAIN.
This went on for a year.
I got a restraining order and he went to jail(LONG STORY)
When he went missing he called me from a hospital about an hour away,and said he just needs to keep telling them he wants to kill himself and they can't discharge him.
Manipulation at it's finest.
I believe he did this to get me to come running to "save' him.
By the 5th time it didn't work anymore.
So some may be serious and others are manipulating you.
It sucks to have to figure out which it is..
He went to a treatment center (his 4th by this time).
Started drinking again 2 weeks later.
He then developed a pattern of drinking to excess calling 911 himself and going to the ER.
COMING HOME THE NEXT DAY TO DRINK AGAIN.
This went on for a year.
I got a restraining order and he went to jail(LONG STORY)
When he went missing he called me from a hospital about an hour away,and said he just needs to keep telling them he wants to kill himself and they can't discharge him.
Manipulation at it's finest.
I believe he did this to get me to come running to "save' him.
By the 5th time it didn't work anymore.
So some may be serious and others are manipulating you.
It sucks to have to figure out which it is..
Ph.D in insanity!!
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 698
I wanted to apologize if I offended the OP. It's been on my mind all morning. I should have never brought up "tax dollars" that was stupid. That was an opinion I should have kept to myself. I get too spirited when I see manipulation at it's finest.
I hope you are doing better today and your BIL wakes up to his addiction and mental illness.
I hope you are doing better today and your BIL wakes up to his addiction and mental illness.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 10
You know, you go through the process so many times, and you can't help but get calloused. I am neither offended nor hurt by Stubborn1, thoughts. I think what has shocked me this time around is what this disease has done to me and BILs family. By the time we got the news we were so emotionally exhausted that I think all of us wondered "Is this a real attempt or just another way to get back to using?" And our next thought was "How do we keep him in the hospital for as long as possible so he has a chance to be in a place where he can realize how much trouble he is in?"
You sit and try to control the chaos of your life, and your heart has no more room for trust, and you spend your time trying to figure out what the "next angle" is going to be. At what point did suicide become "another angle" to me? I just feel like I've been twisted into a person I'm having a hard time recognizing.
So, hubs went to the hospital. Apparently BIL lost the majority of his blood. He sat in a warm tub, drinking and bleeding out for about 6 hours. It was apparently very long and gruesome and quiet. Then he started feeling his life literally slip away. He tried to get out of the bathtub, but then he fell to the floor and could not move. Tried to cry out, could not make a noise.
After a long time he managed to get to the phone, but he couldn't get his fingers to work. Then he eventually got to the door, and opened it and stuck his hand out in the hallway. Which is how he was found.
I tell this story because I hope someone out there might read it and stop themselves before they fall this far.
The doctors said they were surprised he made it. They worked on him for several hours through the night. The loss of blood alone was enough to kill him, but combined with all the junk in his system... well, he really taxed his heart out. They're seeing if he's done permanent damage to it or his liver. (or any other organ in his body).
They are going to transfer him to the mental wing of the hospital today or tomorrow. The social worker wasn't there this weekend but the nurse on duty suggested we file the papers for involuntary commitment.
"Luckily" (I'm beginning to find the word a little ridiculous) the hospital appears to be taking this very seriously. Last time (which was nowhere near a close thing) I think it was the mental wing that then released him on the side of the road. Whoever it is that the hospital transferred him to for his psychiatrict eveluation. But I think BIL is in such a medically fragile state that it will be impossible for that to happen. I can't imagine them releasing him... but... I've been shocked so many times I know I should come up with several backup plans just in case.
Hubs talked to BIL and said he seems calm. That kind of calm from being glad to be alive. Hubs said it doesn't appear BIL would care what happens next. Involuntary commitment, 90 days in treatment, whatever.
Occasionally the reality of this hits me, and then I go back to "taking care of what needs to be taken care of next." I expect in a week I'll be a mess. That's how I usually operate. Although, I am a little of a mess now.
The social worker will be on duty today and we'll get to talk to her. That's the first step. We flew BILs mom in (don' even bother calling his dad anymore). I feel this is one of those moments where he can get on the path to rebuilding his life or get on a wobbly one which leads down to losing him permanently.
I hope this social worker is going to give us good advice.
You sit and try to control the chaos of your life, and your heart has no more room for trust, and you spend your time trying to figure out what the "next angle" is going to be. At what point did suicide become "another angle" to me? I just feel like I've been twisted into a person I'm having a hard time recognizing.
So, hubs went to the hospital. Apparently BIL lost the majority of his blood. He sat in a warm tub, drinking and bleeding out for about 6 hours. It was apparently very long and gruesome and quiet. Then he started feeling his life literally slip away. He tried to get out of the bathtub, but then he fell to the floor and could not move. Tried to cry out, could not make a noise.
After a long time he managed to get to the phone, but he couldn't get his fingers to work. Then he eventually got to the door, and opened it and stuck his hand out in the hallway. Which is how he was found.
I tell this story because I hope someone out there might read it and stop themselves before they fall this far.
The doctors said they were surprised he made it. They worked on him for several hours through the night. The loss of blood alone was enough to kill him, but combined with all the junk in his system... well, he really taxed his heart out. They're seeing if he's done permanent damage to it or his liver. (or any other organ in his body).
They are going to transfer him to the mental wing of the hospital today or tomorrow. The social worker wasn't there this weekend but the nurse on duty suggested we file the papers for involuntary commitment.
"Luckily" (I'm beginning to find the word a little ridiculous) the hospital appears to be taking this very seriously. Last time (which was nowhere near a close thing) I think it was the mental wing that then released him on the side of the road. Whoever it is that the hospital transferred him to for his psychiatrict eveluation. But I think BIL is in such a medically fragile state that it will be impossible for that to happen. I can't imagine them releasing him... but... I've been shocked so many times I know I should come up with several backup plans just in case.
Hubs talked to BIL and said he seems calm. That kind of calm from being glad to be alive. Hubs said it doesn't appear BIL would care what happens next. Involuntary commitment, 90 days in treatment, whatever.
Occasionally the reality of this hits me, and then I go back to "taking care of what needs to be taken care of next." I expect in a week I'll be a mess. That's how I usually operate. Although, I am a little of a mess now.
The social worker will be on duty today and we'll get to talk to her. That's the first step. We flew BILs mom in (don' even bother calling his dad anymore). I feel this is one of those moments where he can get on the path to rebuilding his life or get on a wobbly one which leads down to losing him permanently.
I hope this social worker is going to give us good advice.
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