barblsn

Hi, I was here last year when my husband relapsed on crack. I decided to let it go. He got arrested (nondrug offense) and I refused to see him for a year. Then his kids talked to me and God talked to me and I went to go see him. And I saw some changes. But that's In a Controlled Environment. So, he's been granted work release and I told him he could come home, and that he has no more chances. If he uses, I am getting a divorce and moving to California to be closer to my brother.
I am so scared. He sounds good. He is saying the right things. He is almost 50, too old for the streets. He missed his father's funeral. He missed the birth of his granddaughter. I love him.

Still scared.

baxter

Guess I would be scared too and I think that would be normal. It sounds like your in a good place and know what to do for you and only time will tell where things will go. One day at a time.

When is he coming home?

Impurrfect

Good to see you back!!

I can understand why you're scared, but it sounds like you are thinking this through. Just remember to go by his ACTIONS...they will show if he truly wants recovery or not. Addicts can be very manipulative with words, I know because I'm a recovering addict.

Stick to your boundaries, and take care of you first.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

barblsn

He finishes CASAT (prison addiction program) the end of October, will be back in our city sometime in Nov. He has to get a job, live part of the week in the Work Release Dorm (which I think in on the grounds of a state prison) and part of the week at home. He'll be drug tested, monitored very closely.

hope213

welcome back. take it one day at a time. maybe this is his time for his miracle of life. leave his recovery to him & remember nothing is your fault not matter how it goes. prayers for you & him both.

JMFburns

Welcome back. Sounds like you are strong in what your boundaries are - here's hoping they don't get fuzzy.

BBD

Stay strong and I'm praying that things work out for everyone concerned...at that age I'm hoping he wants a better life and to be able to enjoy you and his children.....Hugs, Bonnie~~Fredonia girl here.....

hello-kitty

Hi. I let my ex come home after some time (14 mos last time) in prison and work release. Before I allowed him home, I wrote my boundaries down on a peice of paper and I wrote down what I would do if the boundaries were violated.

He relapsed after 6 weeks.

I kicked him out and changed the locks that night. He was pissed. I wasn't going to put myself through that hell. He blamed me for everything. He quit his job (that was my fault.) He went on a crack binge that lasted 3 months and ended up back in jail (that was my fault too).

Now that he's back in prison, he's sorry and says he understands why I did it. He took back all the mean horrible stuff he said about me. Not that it matters. His quacking doesn't really affect me anymore, whether he's high or not.

I strongly encourage you to do what I did - write down your boundaries and let him know what they are up front. And commit to following thru. It gave me so much peace of mind knowing that I didn't have to put up with any crap from him any more.

And I loved him dearly. Still do. But not enough to sacrifice my sanity or my childs future.

PS. It doesn't matter if he's 50 or 150, you are not responsible for saving him from his addiction and a life on the streets. He is.

barblsn

"He relapsed after 6 weeks. "

Oy. But this time I know the signs, I didn't then. And I have ALL my money protected. I didnt then. And I know that its' him, not me.

You are one brave woman hello kitty!

Troubledone

barblsn

I don't have anything to add to the good advice above, just sending prayers that things work out well and if not, you maintain the peace you have attained.

God Bless