How Resourceful of Him!
Or However You Spell It....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Safe
Posts: 4,264
How Resourceful of Him! Ok, It's not like I'm hell bent on saving the world or anything but when I got a friend request on another popular site from this 18 year old young lady I accepted. Figured she must have liked what I had to say in one of my blogs or something.
Anyhow.....a few days after accepting her friend request she e-mails me. This is how it went.
Her: "Do you know "D"?"
Me: "I know several "D"s on my friends list...which one??"
Her: "Oh.....he won't be on your friends list. His last name is "Y".
Ok.......So she knows my exabf.....fanfreakingtastic! So naturally I have to ask how....not that I really wanted to know but it's like that fat guy riding the bike in his speedo....you don't want to look, but you can't help it.
Seems they've been "talking" since March and she knows his side of the story but wants to know mine.....and get this!!! He told her to look me up and ask any questions she wanted....because she has trust issues.
As if I'd give him some good review or something. What in the hell is wrong with him....anyhow....
So I go into the whole story, asking what in the hell a 40 year old man would be doing with an 18 year old.....yada yada yada. I'm telling her to run for the hills....like any good Samaritan would do ya know? Then it clicks....so I ask how exactly they met. Well...........she just got out of an abusive relationship and her ex is in the same jail cell as mine!
So after all my worldly advice she still isn't getting it so I wish her luck and delete and block her from my friends list.
Ok.....so I explained in my last post I'm dating an officer of the law. So feeling a little uneasy about the whole e-mail I have him read it. Here's how it went.
Me: "so........"
Him: "Shhhhh....."
Me: "you still reading it??"
Him: "yes, now go do something and let me finish"
Me: "I think......"
Him: "Kris!"
Me: "fine....slow poke"
Now....keep in mind what he does goes a little farther than just arresting people because he's a private investigator so he has to kind of have a keen sense about the situation. Seems as though I was set up. Yes my ex has probably conversed with this girl because her current boyfriend is probably in the same jail cell with him, but chances are....the jerk just managed to find a new way to get to me. So the final words of my boyfriend were.
Him: You won't do that again.
Me:
So......I guess the lesson here is no matter how long we've been at this recovery thing...trusting our guts....and so on.....we can still be fooled and the addict can be most resourceful if he needs to be. I thought I was way past having to keep on my toes and let my guard down. And for some strange reason I'm amazed at the fact they'll use anybody to get to us....kids, parents, even strangers!!
I guess that's pretty extreme but anyone who knows my story knows my ex was always pretty extreme. I'm still trying to figure out what in the hell he wanted from me or what he was trying to find out. One thing is for sure....he didn't learn much. Good thing I'm not quite as trusting as I used to be....naive still .....yea a little. I'm a work in progress.
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Anyhow.....a few days after accepting her friend request she e-mails me. This is how it went.
Her: "Do you know "D"?"
Me: "I know several "D"s on my friends list...which one??"
Her: "Oh.....he won't be on your friends list. His last name is "Y".
Ok.......So she knows my exabf.....fanfreakingtastic! So naturally I have to ask how....not that I really wanted to know but it's like that fat guy riding the bike in his speedo....you don't want to look, but you can't help it.
Seems they've been "talking" since March and she knows his side of the story but wants to know mine.....and get this!!! He told her to look me up and ask any questions she wanted....because she has trust issues.
As if I'd give him some good review or something. What in the hell is wrong with him....anyhow....So I go into the whole story, asking what in the hell a 40 year old man would be doing with an 18 year old.....yada yada yada. I'm telling her to run for the hills....like any good Samaritan would do ya know? Then it clicks....so I ask how exactly they met. Well...........she just got out of an abusive relationship and her ex is in the same jail cell as mine!
So after all my worldly advice she still isn't getting it so I wish her luck and delete and block her from my friends list.
Ok.....so I explained in my last post I'm dating an officer of the law. So feeling a little uneasy about the whole e-mail I have him read it. Here's how it went.
Me: "so........"
Him: "Shhhhh....."
Me: "you still reading it??"
Him: "yes, now go do something and let me finish"
Me: "I think......"
Him: "Kris!"
Me: "fine....slow poke"
Now....keep in mind what he does goes a little farther than just arresting people because he's a private investigator so he has to kind of have a keen sense about the situation. Seems as though I was set up. Yes my ex has probably conversed with this girl because her current boyfriend is probably in the same jail cell with him, but chances are....the jerk just managed to find a new way to get to me. So the final words of my boyfriend were.
Him: You won't do that again.
Me:
So......I guess the lesson here is no matter how long we've been at this recovery thing...trusting our guts....and so on.....we can still be fooled and the addict can be most resourceful if he needs to be. I thought I was way past having to keep on my toes and let my guard down. And for some strange reason I'm amazed at the fact they'll use anybody to get to us....kids, parents, even strangers!!
I guess that's pretty extreme but anyone who knows my story knows my ex was always pretty extreme. I'm still trying to figure out what in the hell he wanted from me or what he was trying to find out. One thing is for sure....he didn't learn much. Good thing I'm not quite as trusting as I used to be....naive still .....yea a little. I'm a work in progress.
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Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((Loves))
I have one word for you, and girl, think hard about it.
OBSESSED
I'm going to say this because I think of you as my friend and friends tell friends how it is. Reading this, I thought about that v-8 commercial where someone pops you in the head. This was a restraining order violation. Contact through another party. Even though he is in jail and your boyfriend is in law enforcement, it doesn't keep you safe. Who is to say that the next contact from a stranger want be his ex cellmate in person.
The man is obsessed with you, any contact, even through another person needs to be documented and reported.
Keep safe Kris.
Hugs and Prayers.
B
I have one word for you, and girl, think hard about it.
OBSESSED
I'm going to say this because I think of you as my friend and friends tell friends how it is. Reading this, I thought about that v-8 commercial where someone pops you in the head. This was a restraining order violation. Contact through another party. Even though he is in jail and your boyfriend is in law enforcement, it doesn't keep you safe. Who is to say that the next contact from a stranger want be his ex cellmate in person.
The man is obsessed with you, any contact, even through another person needs to be documented and reported.
Keep safe Kris.
Hugs and Prayers.
B
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Kris,
I agree with Frankly he is not over you by a long shot. Please keep your guard up, and report this to whom ever you have to. If he is using a kid to get to you, who says he won't use someone else next time.
You are a good friend and we care about you and only want you to be safe.
Take care and hugs coming to you
I agree with Frankly he is not over you by a long shot. Please keep your guard up, and report this to whom ever you have to. If he is using a kid to get to you, who says he won't use someone else next time.
You are a good friend and we care about you and only want you to be safe.
Take care and hugs coming to you
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Loves, you responded (which is more than I would have done) and removed her from your list....now let her go.
When we don't give the time of day to someone, eventually they go find someone else to bother.
This girl has a long road ahead of her...just be glad she isn't you.
Hugs
When we don't give the time of day to someone, eventually they go find someone else to bother.
This girl has a long road ahead of her...just be glad she isn't you.
Hugs
Or However You Spell It....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Safe
Posts: 4,264
Originally Posted by frankly 
This was a restraining order violation. Contact through another party. Even though he is in jail and your boyfriend is in law enforcement, it doesn't keep you safe. Who is to say that the next contact from a stranger want be his ex cellmate in person.
The man is obsessed with you, any contact, even through another person needs to be documented and reported.
B
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
He got what he wanted ~ brain space. It's most likely been awhile since you even thought about him. New guy sounds like he's a good one. Just BE CAREFUL.
I agree- the contact was a violation of the restraining order. Hopefully the judge and authorities will find it a serious breach and will allow him to experience the joy of his consequences.
I agree- the contact was a violation of the restraining order. Hopefully the judge and authorities will find it a serious breach and will allow him to experience the joy of his consequences.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
Lovey,
We're just trusting . . . the first thing in our brains isn't naturally to put our guard up. At least that's how I am. But thankfully we do have the smarts to question things later and have resources to go to, to get a 2nd opinion.
Keep up the good work!
We're just trusting . . . the first thing in our brains isn't naturally to put our guard up. At least that's how I am. But thankfully we do have the smarts to question things later and have resources to go to, to get a 2nd opinion.
Keep up the good work!
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Loves, I am so sorry he is at it again from jail. This man is definitely OBSESSED.
Yep definitely a violation of the restraining order.
Please be safe, take extra precautions, as said above, I don't think he's done with you yet, so best to keep your location, your phone numbers, hidden and safe. Get new email addys and only give to those you completely TRUST.
I remember in vivid detail, as I know you do, what he did to you.
Damn, not to wish him bad luck, but maybe he'll really pizz someone off while in jail and get the beating of his life.
Stay safe, and continue to post, you are an EXCELLENT example of what can get through.
Lots of love and hugs,
Yep definitely a violation of the restraining order.
Please be safe, take extra precautions, as said above, I don't think he's done with you yet, so best to keep your location, your phone numbers, hidden and safe. Get new email addys and only give to those you completely TRUST.
I remember in vivid detail, as I know you do, what he did to you.
Damn, not to wish him bad luck, but maybe he'll really pizz someone off while in jail and get the beating of his life.
Stay safe, and continue to post, you are an EXCELLENT example of what can get through.
Lots of love and hugs,
turning red!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: hong kong
Posts: 254
Hi darling, can't believe the ex is still at it but good to hear you have a sensible boyfriend on your side 
ahahaha a man of the law! Ouah, you do go for extreme isn't it?! Glad you are safe & sound.
missed u
x
Carine
ahahaha a man of the law! Ouah, you do go for extreme isn't it?! Glad you are safe & sound. missed u
x
Carine
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