devastated

Well as you all know, I made the decision to help the grandaughter with her storage while she was in her 6-month program. The deal was I would pay as long as she remained in the program.

Have you all been taking bets as to the results of this? Well if you have and you want to know the outcome read on.

She was suppose to report on Monday, but then called and said it was going to be Tuesday. I called to check on Friday, and guess what?? I know you're going to be surprised and shocked at what I'm going to say next, she DIDN'T MAKE IT!

The worker asked if I had a telephone number and I said a cellphone. She informed me she called that number and the guy who answered said he bought the phone from some girl.

I wasn't angry that she took me for one month really. I thought now when she asks for more help in the future I can just refer to the last time she "took me!"

I did, however, leave a message on the phone she had. Short one saying, "this message is for X, tell her grandmother called and said all bets are off!"

Shoot, I no sooner hung up and she was calling! Full of excuses that I didn't ask for. All I said was, "you took me once, you won't take me again!" She gave the usual excuses to which I replied, "I've heard them all already, so save your energy!"

I told her I loved her and will continue to pray for her and her child. She went on to say she only had 6 months to get her baby back. I replied, time goes so fast, best start working on that!

One thing I do have to say she didn't have the same acid tongue that her father had! She was very cordial. I did exhaust her though 'cause with every excuse I had the answer. She then said, guess you've been through this before huh? Yep, sure have.

Anyway, I'll never stop praying that I see her in recovery before I go.

Hugs, Devastated

cece1960

Wow Dev...I so admire your ability to stand strong.
And to exhaust a young addict, well, hats off to you!

Add my prayers that she finds recovery

Jody Hepler

Thanks for letting me see recovery in action!

Tough stuff - I know that personally - but at least we will be ok. And hopefully eventually they will be too - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

Freedom1990

Never underestimate the power of prayer.

My parents' prayers were answered while I was out there dying a slow death in my addictions.

Those prayers were answered in God's time, and not theirs.

My oldest AD knows better than to call for any sort of help anymore.

There has been zero change in 10 years now on her part.

BBD

She knows what she has to do to get your support Dev~~its as easy as that!! Your doing a fantastic job of keeping your head on straight and kudos to you for that...Smiles, Bonnie

wenchris

I admire your stand, it's awesome. My son and his girlfrind had one year to get their babies back, it has been three months with NO progress. It is moving by so fast and if they have to have it together for a few months they are certainly running out of time. I hope they do, the babies are doing super right where they are and have bonded wonderfully!

Good job Grandma!

marle

Dev, Sending prayers that your granddaughter finds her way. Good job with letting her figure it our for herself. Hugs, Marle

hope213

dev, you have done the right thing. prayers for you & her.

justjo

Yep, this is what it does to me sometimes too.

devastated

Not much else we can do but wait and see.

Want to bet before next month's storage is due, she'll call with more news about a new program?

I definitely am not going to do to her what I did to my son. I did everything wrong trying to help him. I thought I was helping him but, instead I was crippling him. I replaced a camera 3 times! cAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? IS THAT DUMB OR WHAT? Each time I replaced it he stoled it again and pawned it! Can't believe how dumb I was!

No, I finally have it figured out! No more frantic calls to the warden! LOL

Hugs, Devastated

Hugs, Devastated

PacNorwesterner

I agree with cece. To be able to exhaust a young addict is amazing.

gotahavfaith

You remind me of my ex-mother-in-law. No nonsense, take no crap, but love them more than you could ever put into words. She has been gone 5 yrs now, she did everything for him, enabled is what they call it. You weren't dumb, just loved your son with all your heart. Love your grandaughter too but you learned alot from your 1st experience so this is a little different. She bailed him out of jail, replaced missing things, she even went so far when she knew she tired of the fight and was going home, bought him a trailor, gave hime a little property, signed her retirement over to him, left him just enough money a month to pay the bills and EVEN paid for his funeral. 5 years later he is still no better than he was other than he has a place to dring and use drugs has a little money to use and feels guilty about it everyday. He is an Alcholic and an Addict and he loved her, just loved the addiction more. With my addict daughter she was a little differnt. She would help but only until she figured out what was going on with her. But she loved her with all her heart. She was hard on her but she just didn't want her to go down the same path. She is now in a good recovery program, (early recovery-5months) she lives with me with her 2 kids (again I still haven't learned my program yet, I'm still trying to (help?)fix her) but I keep hope in my heart. That's what we do. Don't kick yourself for what you did, you were just trying to help. And now you have more experience and knowledge and tools to deal with you granddaughter better. I am saying a prayer for you and her. And when she finds recovery, part of that will be because of you. Sounds like she loves you she has just lost her way. And by the way, I have bought a couple of cameras too! Sorry this was so long, but it was nice to think about Carolyn I miss her.

Spiritual Seeker

I hope your dreams come true.

Often they do, just not as soon as we would like.

You're learning your own valuable lessons along the way.

historyteach

(((Dev)))

Thanks, once more, for a valuable lesson, that I needed to hear, again...

My prayers are with your granddaughter. :praying

Shalom!

ctrom40

Dev,

Good for You!

I have heard people say that one of the joys of having grandchildren ......
is that you don't make the same mistakes on them, that you did on your own kids.

(I think they meant more like it is OK to let the grandkids roller-skate in the kitchen) but... Whatever!

Hugs,

JMFburns

Dev,

Thank you for an inspiring post. I send a prayer for you and for your granddaughter.

I hope to gain the strength you've found.

Ann

I learned to stand by the "don't tell me, SHOW me" lesson. You learned it a lot faster than I did.

Well done, Dev., and prayers going out for her baby, no matter how her recovery unfolds.

Hugs

P.S. The Warden must miss your calls

devastated

To all my friends who have sent prayers for my granddaughter and her child.

Yep, Ctrom, I do believe that's what they meant when they say it's ok to spoil the grandchildren.

Thanks JMF for your prayers. Don't worry you will gain strength as time goes on. It's just like Ann and the rest of my good friends on the forum said. It just happens one day. It's like someone turned on the light and voila you can see!

Ann I know that warden misses me so much. However, I have been in contact with the officer at the camp these days....but only to arrange for feral cat rescues. My son called to ask me to find someone to help, so I did.

The officer was so nice...he was hardly shocked at all when I told him who my son was. He said, "oh yes he even tries to save the wild turkeys!" I said, guess you know he's not in there for animal abuse huh? He actually chuckled!

And, Ann, by the way, I don't believe I learned faster than you! That is really kind of you to say, but it's an untruth! LOL

Hugs, Devastated

Ann

Yes it is.



Okay, so we all were pretty slow to catch on here. For two years people told me to buy "Codependent No More", you know, the book we all swear by? Well slow old me didn't think I needed it until one day I knocked over a display in a bookstore....yes, it was that book. I bought one because I felt terrible for knocking over the display. I think God shoved me, really I do, and today I pay more attention to what those who went before me say.

One slow learner to another, Dev, Big Hugs

devastated

Those type of things scare me to death. You know why? Because the other day I knocked over an entire shelf of pampers! I looked up and said, sure hope this is not an omen!!! LOL

Hugs, Dev