No Word From My Son

Old 09-18-2008, 04:23 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thanks Jody & Book.
Jody I am so very happy for you & your son. Oneday I pray I can be posting something like that.
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Old 09-18-2008, 04:38 AM
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He knows you love him, I promise you that. No matter how bad their addiction gets, no matter how much they try to play us to get what they want, no matter how sad or angry we get at the whole addiction process....they still know in their hearts that we love them. Just ask any recovering addict if it isn't so.

Hugs for you and prayers for your son.
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Old 09-18-2008, 06:02 AM
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Not much to add, just hugs from mom to mom
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:02 AM
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Hi Rozied

Well, no news is good news right? The fact that you haven't heard from your son is probably because he got the money for the sneakers from Dad!

You did a good thing by not giving in. Be careful how much you indulge him on his birthday 'cause right now you probably have him thinking that you're not going to be so easy in the future....keep that feeling going. Keep him wondering.

I told my son when he went to prison this last time not to write looking for anything from me. If they don't give him the necessities, don't go back to that "hotel" anymore.

Oh, and by the way, don't worry about him not loving you because he does. Now he has to work on respecting you! That's were the tough Rozied comes in.

When I was a teen and would ask my mom for my allowance, after working really hard all week, you know, waxing hardwood floors, cleaning woodwork, washing clothes with the wringer washer, dishes, etc., you know what she would say? "Allowance? Allowance? You're lucky I'm allowing you to live!"

It never crossed my mind that she didn't love me, just that she was cheap! LOL

Enjoy the peace and quiet while you know where he is and that he is safe!

Hugs, Devastated
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Old 09-18-2008, 04:52 PM
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Thanks Ann, Devestated & Catspj's. I know my son loves me. I just worry thats all. I worry that he is ok, I worry will he ever get his life together, I worry whats going to become of him..................I know that is just part of being a mother of a person who is addicted to drugs.
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Old 09-18-2008, 08:41 PM
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Tell me something.....has all that worry gotten you any results?

Nope, when you're worrying you're not praying and when you're praying you're not worrying!

Don't worry, it it is a wasted energy and serves no purpose! What is going to happen will happen no matter how much you worry. On the other hand, praying might change the outcome of things.

I know how difficult it is not to worry. Shoot, I use to wake up and start my day with worry. There were times when I had nothing to worry about and then I'd worry why I didn't have anything to worry about. You know, I actually thought I must be overlooking something!

All I can say is, I spent years worrying and the only result was wrinkles!

What will be will be.

Hugs, Devastated
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Old 09-20-2008, 07:25 PM
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Dear Rozied,
Nothing is more painful than a mothers detachment from their child no matter what age they are. my son is also in jail ( thank god ) I have been through hell and back again many times and through all the pain I still love him and think of him 24 hours a day. thats what we do. A mothers love is by far truly UNCONDITIONAL. its what we do, thats why god made us mothers. Hang in there and keep saying the Serenity prayer It helps me Love elaine
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Old 09-20-2008, 09:54 PM
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Dear Rozied, i'm thinking of you
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Old 09-22-2008, 07:09 AM
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Thanx everyone. I still haven't heard anything so I guess no news is good news.
His B Day is the 30th so I am going to send him a card and a few bucks.
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Old 09-22-2008, 08:02 AM
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Oh Rozied, I am sorry your so worried about your son. But the good thing is he is in jail and that is better then being on the street as far as wondering what he is doing.
Do you think he is punishing you because you didn't send him the money for the sneakers he wanted?
He will get in touch with you when he wants to and nothing you do is going to change that. So get busy with a hobbie so everytime you think about him you start creating something. Lol It may help it may not but you have to try. ((((HUGS)))))
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Old 09-22-2008, 08:08 AM
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My thoughts are with you. My brother was a heroin addict amongst other things and when my brother was in jail was the only time my mother could sleep at night because she knew he was eating and had a roof over his head.
Since my husband is an alcoholic I worry about my son falling to the same fate. He's only eight and I worry already.
I have learned to let go with love for my husband.
I'm sure your son would just like letters from you that you love him. You don't have to support him but him knowing he's cared for probably would help if he choses recovery. I am not familiar with your story so I'm sorry if I sound like I have no clue. hahaha
I can't imagine.
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Old 09-22-2008, 09:08 AM
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sending prayers up for you & your son. it is hard when u do not hear from your child. mine trys to call me everyday from jail. he went 3 days with out calling & i was concerned about him. i said a prayer for him that my God would take care of him & i let it go. the calls started back. sometimes instead of his name on the recording he will say
" love you mom" & it breaks my heart. hugs,
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Old 09-23-2008, 12:12 PM
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Thanks everyone who answered my post. I still haven't heard from Joey. The last time I called the jail he was still there. His Birthday is Sept 30th so I will send him a card & a few bucks. All I can do is pray he finally gets it.
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:04 AM
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oh yeah i do remember you told me before he got the same bday as me!
are you gonna send me a card & few bucks too? yipeeeeee ;p
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:59 PM
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I asked a very good spiritual friend to pray for my son's deliverance. He told me when the two daughters of his and his wife went out into the world, they prayed for God to spare their lives. Other than that, they gave God permission to do whatever it took to bring them to their senses. But he cautioned me to stop braking all my son's falls, and get out of the way so that God COULD do whatever it took to bring him to his senses.
He told me, "I know this is hard, but you have to remember, he belongs to God more than he belongs to you, and God loves him more".

This has been really difficult for me to grasp since this all started escalating, the DUI's, the wrecks, the arrests and jail times, the endless money pit. And I'm all alone. I have no one besides God for my support, and really, He's all I need.
At first, I did what seemed to be the normal thing, moving mountains to try and bail him out, so he could mess up all over again. Gradually, I'm learning to disconnect emotionally. That's hard to do when you love them so much it makes your heart bleed, but you have to, to survive for they're sake as well as your own.
I believe there's an end to all this and part of it is my responsibility, and that is to pray, believe and trust, and not just pay lip service to who I say I believe in. I think that's called faith.

I don't always handle things well when it gets chaotic, but yes, they know you love them, and when you pray, THEY FEEL IT! God knows how to get through the brain fog and talk to them in a way you can't, and no jail cell can keep him out.

You all brought tears to my eyes and touched my heart because I know what your going through. There is victory in faith, if it's strong enough. I believe that with all my heart. .
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Old 09-25-2008, 05:36 AM
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Thanks Everyone.
Dear Goldensilence, I do believe all things are possible with faith. I was healed through the power of prayer ( and surgery ) from a 20 yr back problem.
Thanks for your post.
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Old 09-25-2008, 05:49 AM
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I totally agree with Goldensilence that addicts FEEL prayer. I know that there were things that happened to me, and they weren't as bad as they could have been (like when I got choked and should have died) and it's only because so many people were praying for me and God stepped in and got me to safety.

I know it's hard, especially with his birthday coming up, so sending you extra hugs and prayers. It's the times I've done things, totally on faith, that I've come the farthest.

Hugs and prayers!

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Old 09-25-2008, 09:11 AM
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Without my faith I don't know where I'd be. I hope my son " feels " all the prayers I say for him & on his behalf.
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Old 09-25-2008, 12:09 PM
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I'm sure he does rozied~~~~~Please try to be easy on yourself and go about your daily business. If your concerned about not hearing from your son maybe you could call the chaplin at where he is. I don't know. Sometimes I think they want to hurt us by not calling and then other times I feel they realize its time to grow up and become the men they should they need distance. It's such a crapgame we're playing ....But I can bet they don't worry about us all that much. I really wouldn't want my son to now..hopefully Chris is OK!!! HUgs hon, BOnnie
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Old 09-25-2008, 12:22 PM
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Hi Rozied,
I just wanted to offer you and your son prayers and support. My own two boys
are addicts in and out of recovery. They are kind, sweet, and smart but VERY
self-involved. I highly doubt that they worry about me at all.
Hugs, Stef
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