rose

Yes I have become cold hearted. This addiction run about has turned me into cold hearted. My mom passed away, I took a week off and back to work! I work like the dickens, talk, laugh...continue on! My Mom ment the world to me!

My dog the one that I had the custody battle over got sick, age, lost his sight...not eating....was so sick. I made my mind up on Sunday to take him and have him put down. I got to the Vets they put me in a room and left me for 10 to 15 min, buy they I was such a mess I said I am taking him home and out the door I went with him. Thought I am going to have to get someone to do it for me. Then this morning I got up, looked at him and took him....

I have just learned to block hurt out....if I cry, I just have a tear or two and carry on.

What kind of cold hearted woman have I become!

Rose

pjbs55

Rose,
You are not a cold hearted lady, you are a caring loving one. Everyone handles things differently, and this is just the way you have to now. If at a later date things start to come down on you, you will know why. Take care of yourself, and when the tears come let them fall.
You have been through so much and this is your way to deal with things, I had to block out my feelings for a long time, but when they hit they really hit. I went into a depression, so be careful and take steps to help you if you need to.
Hugs coming to you

mooselips

(((Rose)))
I think you have a point there, dealing with the addiction of our loved ones can make us hardened.

I'm having a hard time this morning gathering my thoughts...


For me, after dealing with all that drama, and trauma, it has put a protective coat over my heart, where the inevitable things that are life changes, are easier to deal with.
Those changes still hurt, but my mind knows there's no alternative. Maybe my heart is just more effficient now.

Hugs Rose.....

Cupicake

I don't think you've become cold hearted. I see a woman who's been through so much that you've learned to deal with the hard stuff and be able to move on rather than allowing things to paralyze you. My deepest sympathies to you.

You've learned to live life despite the grieving and mourning and that's okay. Your mom helped to give you life....a life you are meant to live. I know if there is one major thing that I've learned from my mom it's that life must go on and work is a part of living.

I see a woman who shows compassion and mercy to a beloved pet...member of the family despite how much it breaks your heart.

I see a strong woman.

JMFburns

((rose))

Sending hugs and prayers to you.

Serenity Bound

Rose, I totally agree with Cupicake. You are strong, you are loving. Take care of yourself, cause you are worth it!

Hugs,
Chris

lightseeker

Rose,

First, I am so very sorry for your losses. That is a big bundle of hurting. The trauma and chaos of addiction numbs us to a large degree. I know that it makes me just shut down. When our nervous systems have had enough from the addiction drama/trauma we just go on autopilot when dealt more life realities. I hate the numbing that occurs. You are definitely NOT cold hearted. You are in shock and just putting one foot in front of the other. You are able to recognize that you feel the way that you do right now but it's simply a reaction that we've all learned from the constant barrage of stress.

Now is the time to be particularly kind to yourself. hugs -

hello-kitty

How does that make you cold hearted? Maybe it just means you are strong and you are a survivor. Nothing wrong with that.

I too am very sorry for your recent losses, but from your descriptions, I think you handled them well, and should give yourself a little credit for having been able to do so. The one thing I have learned is that no matter how fast the world crumbles around me, it doesn't mean I have to crumble with it.

If you really think you are cold hearted, maybe you should discuss it with a counselor. Maybe there is something else going on there.

Being a strong woman does not mean you are a cold hearted b*tch.

splendra

((((((rose)))))

BayAreaPhoenix

(((Rose)))

Sounds more like a delayed reaction to me. Too much too soon. Overwhelming! Give yourself some time...

cece1960

You are not cold hearted Rose.
I've found that I react to things differently as well. I credit that to having a better sense of what I can not change.
All the tears and grief and heartbreak in the world will not bring back your Mom. But she lives forever in your heart. Have a happy heart, with her in it Rose, as I'm sure she would want it.
I've been accused of not caring by some, and caring too much by others.
Well, The only opinion of me that matters is mine.

I'm sorry for your losses Rose.
(((Hugs))))

mjpaao

Oh, Rose, I know just how you feel. I've been thinling the exact same thing about myself lately. I had to bring my dog in a couple of months ago. She was my best friend for the last 5 years since ah left, I know it's such a hard thing to do. Rose, I don't think you're cold hearted. I think, if you're like me, we've just had so much to deal with we have, maybe, shut ourselves down a little bit. I lately have decided not to cry anymore, so I guess somehow we hve to find another way to cope. I probably am not making any sense at all, but huge hugs to you Rose, just the fact that you posted this tells me you are definately not a cold hearted woman. I hope you soon find a more peaceful place.