krhea75

Yes, that's where I am. My son is back living with me, behaving rather calmly. He is still working his job at KFC, started classes at a local community college last week. Comes home late, most probably drinking again but I have seen no outward signs. He will probably end up serving some time for violating his probation. He has a status hearing on october 8th, and he is aware this could happen so maybe that's settled him down a bit. I am trying to stay out of it.

I did kick him out for a few days, but I gave in when it was time to start college. I think he needs a chance here to straighten his act out. Whatever happens, it is his choice. If he flunks out of school, he has to deal with it. If he succeeds it's because of him only. If he goes to jail, he has earned it. I am only his mom, not God. I can't change or manipulate his life.

In the meantime, I am reading a book someone suggested on here Women,Sex and Addiction and finding it very interesting. I planted four mum plants today and had a labor day lunch for family and my bf. Trying to move on with my life. Maybe I'm in denial. Most probably am, but I'm just moving on letting the chips fall where they may.

Impurrfect

((((krhea)))

I don't think you're in denial...looks like you've got your eyes wide open. You're a mom who wants the best for your child. If he's still working and is going to classes, I think his actions show progress!

It sounds to me like you're ready to let him deal with his consequences, and you ARE moving on with your life.

Keep taking care of you, and stick to your boundaries.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

BigSis

(((hugs))) You know, you sound sane, girl. I could use a dose of that.... thanks for sharing this here, it helps more than you know.

BBD

Hi khrea!!Sounds like you've got all your ducks in a row girl.....Planting mums~~now I have been talking about that for weeks here. You've given me the insentive to get going on that. Hopefully your son does well in school and sticks to a good plan. Smiles, Bonnie

beegee

I like that " I am only his mom not God"! Krhea you sound so much better and I think planting flowers is wonderful for the soul. I think I miss my yard when it comes to planting things and seeing them grow. Stay strong, everyday gets a little easier.

krhea75

Thanks, Beegee, bbd, bigsis, and impurfect,

You comments were kind and thoughtful. I thought some of you might be more critical of me. You saw me through the trauma of kicking my son out and now he's back. He is still going to class and talking to me about what he's learning. He tells me he likes college better than high school, but that could be just blowing smoke. I've stopped babying him pretty much. I don't do his laundry, I don't wake him up and make sure he's going to class or work, I don't bug him about getting his homework done. (the last one is particularly hard for me!) It's amazing. He is doing these things on his own. Not always to my satisfaction, but he's doing them.

So anyway, thanks again for the encouraging comments.
krhea

Hangin' In

Krhea,

You are much farther down the road than you think you are. You know that you can't save him and you know that you will have to let the chips fall where they may. Doesn't make it any easier on us moms, but you knowing that is huge progress if you ask me.

Hang in there. I've been there and the only way I made it was by attending meetings, reading here and definitely doing it one day at a time.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

marle

Khrea, I remember not too long ago I said that my daughter would never live with me again. Guess what? She is. And as long as she keeps doing the next right thing she can stay. So I guess we are always allowed to change our minds when the circumstances change. And I have learned to never say never again Hugs, Marle

greeteachday

Khrea, I think you sound terrific...i know it still is painful that your son has to face some life lessons, but you have stopped doing what he can do for himself and the magic is that he IS doing it for himself! How cool that HP gives us the proof we need so quickly when we start doing what is tough to do but oh so necessary for everyone's health and sanity.

I smiled when I read about the mums and beegee's comment about missing her yard. I was away for a week at the beach and I missed my gardens so much! We stayed in a neat old seaside cottage that had a pretty but weeded-over and water starved garden. So the owner got some free landscaping services...I nurtured her garden to help with my feeling of garden-sickness (a version of homesick, lol)

hope213

you are doing good. you are doing what you feel comfortable doing. i hope everything works out for your son. i hope he goes to school & does good. keep taking care of you. hugs,