update of a new mom!
turning red!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: hong kong
Posts: 254
update of a new mom!
hello my friends,
Been busy lately, as you may guess! Let me update you of the past few months, since Mia's birth on 15th May.
As some of you know, Mia's dad is on probation for 18 months and needs to do one year in rehab. Considering i was pregnant, he was allowed to wait after i gave birth to start rehab.
We were a "normal" family for one month, where we enjoyed every moment of it. Of course there was always Rain's addiction, the fear for his life and all the disappointment addiction brings. But i am still grateful we could have this one month where he could bond with our daughter, and he was a wonderful lovng daddy.
End of June he went to rehab and Mia & I went to France for one month holidays and showing off. I think Mia is quite lucky: at one month + she already took the plane/train/bus/subway/ferry and already saw Hong Kong/Paris/France's country side + South of France!!
And it was SOOO great to be able to escape and do all that. My family and friends were of course delighted to see my little angel
One month later we came back to HK and went to visit Rain. We are allowed one visit per month and it's only supervised visitation, for now... It was really frustrating to see him but not being able to talk or hug freely
On top of that, we are only allowed to communicate by mail and Rain (who is in his "angry with the world phase") said "what's the point i write you a letter since they will read it and so i can only write bulls***"
Sooo i haven't had any news from him since last visit 3 weeks ago and i start to be really upset and sad. Anyway, i guess he is not in the mood but still, i feel communication is the key to relationship and if no news i feel we are drifting apart.
We'll visit him next WE so i guess i'll tell him how i feel.
So, some days are easier than others. Sometimes i feel really frustrated with the whole situation and lonely, some other times i feel great with my baby who is absolutely perfect!
I post some pics below.
We'll keep posted and think of you all.
xoxo
Carine
Been busy lately, as you may guess! Let me update you of the past few months, since Mia's birth on 15th May.
As some of you know, Mia's dad is on probation for 18 months and needs to do one year in rehab. Considering i was pregnant, he was allowed to wait after i gave birth to start rehab.
We were a "normal" family for one month, where we enjoyed every moment of it. Of course there was always Rain's addiction, the fear for his life and all the disappointment addiction brings. But i am still grateful we could have this one month where he could bond with our daughter, and he was a wonderful lovng daddy.
End of June he went to rehab and Mia & I went to France for one month holidays and showing off. I think Mia is quite lucky: at one month + she already took the plane/train/bus/subway/ferry and already saw Hong Kong/Paris/France's country side + South of France!!
And it was SOOO great to be able to escape and do all that. My family and friends were of course delighted to see my little angel
One month later we came back to HK and went to visit Rain. We are allowed one visit per month and it's only supervised visitation, for now... It was really frustrating to see him but not being able to talk or hug freely
On top of that, we are only allowed to communicate by mail and Rain (who is in his "angry with the world phase") said "what's the point i write you a letter since they will read it and so i can only write bulls***"
Sooo i haven't had any news from him since last visit 3 weeks ago and i start to be really upset and sad. Anyway, i guess he is not in the mood but still, i feel communication is the key to relationship and if no news i feel we are drifting apart.
We'll visit him next WE so i guess i'll tell him how i feel.
So, some days are easier than others. Sometimes i feel really frustrated with the whole situation and lonely, some other times i feel great with my baby who is absolutely perfect!
I post some pics below.
We'll keep posted and think of you all.
xoxo
Carine
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
OMG!!! It is so great to hear from you. I often thinkl about you and wondered how you have been.
Looking forward to the pictures. In the last you sent, she was absolutely beautiful. I'm sure that hasn't changed and she is growing fast.
I'm glad Rain got to be there for that first month. I'm sorry you feel like you are growing apart; I know that not having that communication is difficult, especially in Mia's first year of life. Do you keep a journal? It might be a good way for you to share with him all the little things that happen in her life.
Sounds like they mean business with their rehab programs over there. I know you miss him, but maybe in the long run, it will work out for the best if he has a full year of solid recovery. I hope he can get passed the anger and work on his recovery.
Wishing you all the best.....you all deserve so much, I hope it all comes to you soon.
Big hugs heading your way across the Pacific-- keep in touch!
Rica
Looking forward to the pictures. In the last you sent, she was absolutely beautiful. I'm sure that hasn't changed and she is growing fast.
I'm glad Rain got to be there for that first month. I'm sorry you feel like you are growing apart; I know that not having that communication is difficult, especially in Mia's first year of life. Do you keep a journal? It might be a good way for you to share with him all the little things that happen in her life.
Sounds like they mean business with their rehab programs over there. I know you miss him, but maybe in the long run, it will work out for the best if he has a full year of solid recovery. I hope he can get passed the anger and work on his recovery.
Wishing you all the best.....you all deserve so much, I hope it all comes to you soon.
Big hugs heading your way across the Pacific-- keep in touch!
Rica
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
She is beautiful, Funk, and that's a lovely picture of the three of you.
This year, with rehab and a new baby, there will be many changes in your lives and I think that as you adjust to the changes you will grow closer again. Rehab has those rules for a reason, not personal to you and Rain, and accepting that and doing the best you can with it will make it all easier in the end.
Thank you for sharing your little angel with all of us.
Hugs
This year, with rehab and a new baby, there will be many changes in your lives and I think that as you adjust to the changes you will grow closer again. Rehab has those rules for a reason, not personal to you and Rain, and accepting that and doing the best you can with it will make it all easier in the end.
Thank you for sharing your little angel with all of us.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Cairne,
I am so glad to hear from you. Have been wondering how things are going. Mia as a real doll, so beautiful.
Even if Rain is angry and won't write to you, write to him and let him know what Mia is doing. Maybe he will start to write back, you never know.
From what I have been told anger is a part of recovery, they are angry that they have to be there, and for what they did to themselves. I was told this from a recovery addict and a rehab I speak at.
You and Rain have had a lot of problems and made it this far, you both love each other. I pray that you will make it this time too.
Keep us posted on your precious little one, and on how you and Rain are doing. We miss you when you stay away so long, but it is hard with a baby I know.
Hugs coming to you along with prayers for all three of you
Your other mum
I am so glad to hear from you. Have been wondering how things are going. Mia as a real doll, so beautiful.
Even if Rain is angry and won't write to you, write to him and let him know what Mia is doing. Maybe he will start to write back, you never know.
From what I have been told anger is a part of recovery, they are angry that they have to be there, and for what they did to themselves. I was told this from a recovery addict and a rehab I speak at.
You and Rain have had a lot of problems and made it this far, you both love each other. I pray that you will make it this time too.
Keep us posted on your precious little one, and on how you and Rain are doing. We miss you when you stay away so long, but it is hard with a baby I know.
Hugs coming to you along with prayers for all three of you
Your other mum
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Carine-
Mia is a beutiful soul! Wow. When my sons were that age I still had trouble believing that they were real! I'm glad that you have her and that she has you. Sorry about Rain and all that this is entailing. Hope that the rehab and clean time is allowing his brain to heal. Motherhood is challenging under the best of circumstances and the daily logistics do make you long for a partner to share it all with. Communication is key in a relationship but remember - Rain's job this year is recovery. Nothing else can come first and it is a SELFISH situation by nature. It was difficult for me to sometimes see the character defects surface that I at one time attributed to drug use and addiction.
I'm glad that you had some time with friends and family. Loved the pics!
Good wishes and glad for the update!
Mia is a beutiful soul! Wow. When my sons were that age I still had trouble believing that they were real! I'm glad that you have her and that she has you. Sorry about Rain and all that this is entailing. Hope that the rehab and clean time is allowing his brain to heal. Motherhood is challenging under the best of circumstances and the daily logistics do make you long for a partner to share it all with. Communication is key in a relationship but remember - Rain's job this year is recovery. Nothing else can come first and it is a SELFISH situation by nature. It was difficult for me to sometimes see the character defects surface that I at one time attributed to drug use and addiction.
I'm glad that you had some time with friends and family. Loved the pics!
Good wishes and glad for the update!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
WOW Funk, I am so glad you posted.............. Mia -----what an angel she is sooo beautiful what a little princess!! Enjoy your little one they grow up so fast.
Prayers for Rain that he will find recovery, and prayers for you and Mia that you will have a happy and joyous life!
Prayers for Rain that he will find recovery, and prayers for you and Mia that you will have a happy and joyous life!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Funky - Mia is absolutely beautiful..what a precious angel. I know it is really hard, but I am glad that Rain has this opportunity.It is a struggle for both of you, but so worth it in the end. Many hugs to you and sweet Mia
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Ughh, I left a post to this and it's gone.. maybe I forgot to hit send.
How are you sister!!
So glad you checked in!! We missed you...
Glad Rainn is safe and checked into rehab..
My neice
is adorable!!
How are you? How is life being a new Mom?
are you sleeping yet?
What were her first words?
What's her favorite color? PINK?
So good to see and hear from you!
Love ya girl!
How are you sister!!
So glad you checked in!! We missed you...
Glad Rainn is safe and checked into rehab..
My neice
is adorable!!How are you? How is life being a new Mom?
are you sleeping yet?
What were her first words?
What's her favorite color? PINK?
So good to see and hear from you!
Love ya girl!
turning red!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: hong kong
Posts: 254
ahaha Done, sis! Mia is only 3 months old, no way she can speak yet :P
BUT she did give me her first "laugh out loud" for 5 minutes yesterday and that was amazing!
She's really cheerful and that's so great
She sleeps okay: from ~ 10.30pm to 5.30am, then she eats and sleeps again. Not too bad (but i still feel tired, of course, having started work 2 weeks ago)
Thanks all for your support. It is indeed very hard sometimes but i know rehab is what is best, and that it might allow Mia to have a daddy in her life, and that's what is the most important to me.
(Pam), indeed i wrote to Rain: i wrote him a letter every week for the first month, together with pictures of our trip. This month i wrote him one letter + pics and got fed up of no return so that's it for this month! (because otherwise if i write to him i won't be able to write nice things, but will send angry/frustrated letters!)
Anyway...got to work now (that's a good way to keep my mind busy!)
Thanks again all xoxoxo
Carine
BUT she did give me her first "laugh out loud" for 5 minutes yesterday and that was amazing!
She's really cheerful and that's so great
She sleeps okay: from ~ 10.30pm to 5.30am, then she eats and sleeps again. Not too bad (but i still feel tired, of course, having started work 2 weeks ago)
Thanks all for your support. It is indeed very hard sometimes but i know rehab is what is best, and that it might allow Mia to have a daddy in her life, and that's what is the most important to me.
(Pam), indeed i wrote to Rain: i wrote him a letter every week for the first month, together with pictures of our trip. This month i wrote him one letter + pics and got fed up of no return so that's it for this month! (because otherwise if i write to him i won't be able to write nice things, but will send angry/frustrated letters!)
Anyway...got to work now (that's a good way to keep my mind busy!)
Thanks again all xoxoxo
Carine
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Ohhh, well how old do you have to be before you can talk then?
I am SURE i was talking when I came out of the womb!!!
Teach her to say I Love Auntie Done, for her first words!!!
Or THINK PINK..
whichever you prefer..
I am SURE i was talking when I came out of the womb!!!
Teach her to say I Love Auntie Done, for her first words!!!
Or THINK PINK..
whichever you prefer..
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
Almost missed this cutie!!
Enjoy her ....she is truly precious
I believe that long term rehabs are so beneficial
it takes a long time to unpeel all the layers of emotional and physical addiction
I hope that this sacrifice now will assure Mia's daddy presence in her future
(((Blessings)))
Enjoy her ....she is truly precious
I believe that long term rehabs are so beneficial
it takes a long time to unpeel all the layers of emotional and physical addiction
I hope that this sacrifice now will assure Mia's daddy presence in her future
(((Blessings)))
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