drainedwife

I just wanted to throw this issue out there to see what kind of responses i get.

I quit my full time administrativea asst. job ( i was there for almost 2 years)...in June. I did this because i thought things were ok with my ah (he stoped using for 3 months) and i was having ahard time juggling home and work. (not getting much if any help from him)....

Also, i dont need to work full time, my ah makes enough money, i was working because of debt...drug debt...and also, because if i were to leave him, i would at least have some work experience and a full time job with benefits, although the pay was low for this area.

So, my question is this...i do not know what the future holds...am i going to leave him....or not.....i cannot answer that yet...my kids still need me at home after school..they can manage without me, but i feel much better when they are supervised. They are old enough 13 and 11 that they can stay home without aftercare. Back to the question----should i look for another full time job or try subbing to see if that is an area i want to get into and if so, try alternate route to teaching whcih involves taking the praxis test, going to class once or twice a week and finding a full time teaching job.

the other option is to just get another part time job where i would be getting work experience, making some money, and still be around for the kids..if i do get divorced at some point, i can always get a full time job then when i absoltly have to---


thanks for your opinions!!!!

lostparent

Don't know but whether it's full time or part time make sure you put most of the money into YOUR bank account. Keeping you in my prayers

Chino

I'd do whichever option meets my needs now and into the future.

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best

atalose

I agree, being self sufficient is so important don’t wait until you are forced to make it on your own control that now.

His world could come crashing down tomorrow dragging you down along with him.

Hope is not a plan so prepare for the worse now but hope he seeks help on his own someday. In the meantime take care of you for your future.

hello-kitty

Plan your future as if he NEVER recovers from his addiction. Then if he doesn't you are prepared, but if he does you are doubly blessed.

Ask yourself, what is the Wisest decision, based on the way things are, not the way things should be.

And yes. Definitely put it in a bank account that doesn't have his name on it. You cannot trust someone in active addiction.

pjbs55

I agree do what is best for you. The subbing job sounds good since I know that you plan on taking classes this fall. I'm sure you will be busy subbing this year and you can still be home with the girls after school. I also agree to put the money in an account in just your name, this way you are ahead of the game if you need it. Why should you pay off his debts for using? You could use some of the money for yourself and the girls if you want, on extras.
Stay strong and do what is best for you,

drainedwife

I understand about being self-sufficient, but even when i worked full time....i didnt make too much money, I didnt feel self-sufficient and it didnt make me happier...it actually stressed me out because i would have to still take care of the house, the kids, and everything else while working full-time...so i really was unhappy.. i feel that the kdis some first, and i should be there after school....the difference in money is not much..i figured it out....after taking out taxes and paying for gas, clothing, camp, etc...working full time vs. working part-time is not much difference financially.

I know I shouldnt count on him because of the drugs, i totally agree, but i also think his parents would step in, should something happen, like he lost his job, etc.....Again thou, I see that I am counting on other people to help me, when i should be counting on myself.
Well, i want to try the subbing and then, if i do like being in a classroom, I am going to take the Praxis Test and try The Alternate Route to Teaching........

Thanks for your help, and I will still think about all of your responses.

Freedom1990

That was my first thought too. I will never ever put myself in that position again.

drainedwife

I will try, but some days are better than others...I just get so depressed and I think alot of it has to do with being lonely and bored.

The phone doesnt ring, no one calls me. I do reach out to my few friends, but they never seem to call me...maybe they are just tired of hearing me complain about my life. I dont know.....

I hate sitting in the house, and I cant find anything to do. Everything costs money too..The kids are always fighting with each other, my older one is nasty to me...

Ive been looking at jobs, both full time and part time....there is nothing that appeals to me or if it does, im not qualified...I dont want to work another admin. asst. job....Its just not me...and yet, I am not qualified for anything else. I have a degree in marketing, but that was from 1990---I never had a job in marketing, I dont even think Im interested in that anymore anyway.

Well, thanks again for you help....ill keep you posted on what happens.

beegee

Dear Drained,
I think teaching would be good if only for the hours and the days off the same as your kids. Adm Assistant should be making a lot more then a part time sub??? You can always go in just as a secretary so not a lot of pressure, Or maybe admitting in a hospital. I am sure the GP would look out to help with the kids right? Now is the time to get the kids to start helping you out with little chores also so it is isn't all you. Jobs are really hard to find today so don't wait till summer.

lyssabee

If you got a job, you might not be so lonely or bored!

I struggled with a bit of guilt when I went back to work after having my son, as many working mothers do, but in the end I knew that I was a happier person, and would make a better mother, having a job. This is different for everyone, of course, but you can be a good mother and also work full-time. Or part-time.

Christmas is coming (can you tell I work in a retail-based business?) so there are a lot of retail jobs out there. I worked retail for a long time, and the comraderie is definitely a benefit. At this time of year you can usually get the hours you want. Try working at a bookstore or someplace where you can strike up conversations with customers.