sweetrose

Hello. Im a recovering pill addict. 5 years sober. I have a husband who is on suboxone, and ritalin for ADHD. Up until a few months ago, things were ok.
He was functioning and doing what he was supposed to do, to lead a recovered life.
My teen was given medication (ritalin) for ADHD, and now my husband is trying to get it. I knew he was abusing his ritalin, so I called him on it, and he agreed I could give his his dose every day. I bought a safe with a electronic lock, but it also has a key lock. Well, guess what, he jimmied that.

Today, he asked when the teen was going to get her prescription again, and I said I didnt know. He called the drugstore and he got the date of the last refill.
He's thinking and manipulating. I know its a disease and its no use talking to him as he justifies everything.

I dont want him arrested, and I dont want him taking my daughters medication. And if I dont give it to him, we argue.

Do you think my daughter's doctor will be receptive to only having me get the script, or should I suggest getting the meds, and going to the doctors office for the weekly amount?

Any suggestions would be great. I know all the scams and lies and manipulation. I know I cant help my husband, but I can protect my daughter and I just want to do the right thing.

Thank you. This has caused so much grief for me and my daughter.
Best wishes
Rose

GreenEyedGirl39

OMG! Your story is soo like mine. My AH was stealing my pain meds. I was in a hospital bed in our living room after hip surgery and he really binged. I bought a lock box 2 time, he broke open both. I finally got a heavy fire proof safe at Home Depot (about 90 bucks but worth it). It is a combo lock. I actually bought 2. The first one I was stupid enough to write down the combo and put it under my nightstand in case I forgot it. (which I did a few times) He found it and began stealing again. This time, I got one but gave the combo to a friend. He has not been able to get them except when we went on vacation and that time he ended up in rehab. He is home now, but I am still using my safe and that works. But the bottom line is if an addict really wants to get it, he can. Maybe not yours, but doctor shopping, etc. If he is stealing, he needs help. Is he working a program? All I know is that I am now dealing with my AH in recovery. He had to come to the realization that he needed rehab and he did when he almost died a few weeks ago on an overdose. He tried to quit on his own and the withdrawal was too bad. He took sleeping pills to try and sleep through the withdrawal as he was too ashamed to admit it.

I don't know very much about getting someone to go to rehab. Mine went because he almost died and that was a rude awakening. I think people here might be of better help with that. Planned interventions, etc. But the most important thing is that you take care of you and your child.

Good luck to you. And get a good safe to at least protect your child and her needs.

Reality

why not have him arrested?

Consequences provide miracles for addicts sometimes.....remember?

Troubledone

I just gotta tell you, after seeing my niece bamboozle me and the authorities for years, addicts are way too clever. There is no way you will be able to set up enough safeguards to keep him from using if he wants to use. He WILL find a way until HE is ready to give it up. Most often that's when using is more painful than not using.

It seems you may be putting yourself between a rock and a hard place. It is the codependent dilemma - we want to control the situation so we don't have to see our addict suffer, which means constant vigilance that never works. I hope this isn't too harsh to say, it's just a lesson I've learned the hard way myself.

If he won't go to rehab and he won't stop using the drugs and you won't call to have him arrested, where does that leave you?

How much energy can you spend on this situation before you don't have any more energy to give? At what point do you go down with him?

I found for myself that in the 12 steps, I could just insert my addict's name in the place of alcohol and it fit - I have been addicted to controlling my niece to "save" her and my life became unmanageable. Only when I let go and let God take care of her does my sanity return and she gets the consequences that might wake her up.

She is now facing some dire consequences with the law (could get years in prison) after being given probation and violating it. If I try to spend my energy rescuing her, we both go down and two lives are lost instead of one.

I pray that you find a way to find yourself and your boundaries and the courage to set some limits before your energy is exhausted.

God Bless

Love and prayers

GreenEyedGirl39

No matter what, if they want to keep using, they will. I have the heavy duty safe for my medication. He definitely can't get in this (no flimsy lock box, but a heavy safe). But that is for me. If he really wants to use, he can go to doctors and those after hours clinics, etc. and get painkillers. Only they can stop themselves and they have to want to. You on the other hand can only take care of yourself and child. I suggest the safe for that so your child can have the neccessary medication. But if he is going to use, don't think that will stop it.

Good luck to you.

sweetrose

Thank you for your kind support and words. God bless you all. Its good to know I'm not alone here. I do love my husband, but he manipulates me and I know it's the disease. I just got in and have more to say, but must spend time with my daughter.

Thank you all for your very personal stories and your courage.
Have a good night.

Sincerely
Rose