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Just gotta tell ya...

Old 08-18-2008, 03:33 PM
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Just gotta tell ya...

After a week and 1/2 my addicted niece calls me from jail (she's back in after probation viloation - she's been using the whole time since her first arrest and sentencing, during rehab, counseling, workhouse, etc. - so that makes 4.5 years of lying to me). She faces anything from a few months to the original recommended sentence of 7 years.

Anyway, now she says she really wants to be honest, she's ready for me to pay for rehab, etc. (I won't bore you with the whole thing). I now see this as just another way she wants to use to beat the rap. Just looking for another escape route. (She even tried to escape from the jail and got put into seclusion).

Anyway, I was proud of myself. I told her I love her AND that she can NOT live at our house and that I'm not paying for rehab.

I told her I believe that whatever the judge says will be God's will and that I am willing to accept it. I also told her that while I love her and am willing to talk with her from time to time and sort out her options, the breach of trust is so long and so deep that it will take quite a lot to ever re-establish trust with me - if ever. And - that half measures will not work - she needs to be away from drugs and everyone associated with them, including the meth-addicted boyfriend or she will never get better.

She didn't argue much, so I take that as I made my point. Not that this will change her behavior, but at least she knows where I stand.

I've come to realize, she may not make it. If she does, it will need to be because she is as dedicated to going straight as she was to doing and dealing drugs.

I also believe that my HP has a purpose for the rest of my life and it is not getting dragged down by an addict. After trying everything I know how, I am finally willing to give this to God completely and go have a life of my own that provides something of value to this world, not mucking around in the filth of a drug addict. (do I sound disgusted? I guess I am)

Thanks for all your support lately, I'm feeling more myself even in the midst of this.
God Bless all
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Old 08-18-2008, 03:43 PM
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Kudos to you for taking care of self and using tough love! I fell hook, line, and sinker for all the promises my oldest made when I took her in after her 9 month stint in jail (on drug-related charges).

The gravy train doesn't stop here anymore, and it sounds like it doesn't at your place either! Give yourself a big hug! You deserve it
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Old 08-18-2008, 06:21 PM
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Well Done!
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Old 08-18-2008, 07:56 PM
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Anyway, I was proud of myself. I told her I love her AND that she can NOT live at our house and that I'm not paying for rehab.
And you should be proud...very proud of yourself. That couldn't have been easy but it sounds as if you said what you meant, meant what you said and you didn't say it mean. What a challenge that can be and you handled it beautifully. Hugs
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Old 08-19-2008, 12:59 AM
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I envy your strength and your surrender.
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