Serenity Bound

Goodness, I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted. 8 months.
I guess that's because things were going ok for my AD. But, here we go again, I just found out that she's using again. It's seems the minute social services released her & her hubby from group & drug court, she went right out & used.

Geez!!!!

Even though it hit me hard, I thank God for my Naranon program and this site.

My hubby & I have had a really hard year, he lost his job in mid-Jan and we lost 2/3 of our income. He still has not had any luck in finding another job that will pay him anywhere near what he made. Ya know he has 38 yrs in the finance industry, but nothing is opening up.

Because of my enabling all those years....we had no back up $$..Sometimes, I think the reason he has not found a good job is so that I learn my lesson. Even when I don't have it...I give it. How dumb is that!!! Just this morn our AD wanted gas $ to go to a meeting.....Hmmm...so what do I do, I go with her to the gas station & get the gas.....Then I go off to work wondering if I didn't just give her gas to go find drugs....

Eight years in Naranon.....and I still haven't learned to say NO!

Thanks for letting me ramble.

marle

My husband lost his job a year ago and he was also 2/3 of our income so I know how that feels. My daughter currently has 85 days clean from a nasty heroin habit. She decided to get help for herself, but of course her insurance did not cover it all. Oh well, we still have a roof over our heads and for that I am grateful. It is so hard not to enable the positive steps they take, but mine knows that this is it for us. The money is gone so she better make the best of this opportunity. Hugs, and don't be a stranger. Marle

JMFburns

Serenity,

Welcome back. I was not a member back when you joined so look forward to getting to know you. I wish it were under different circumstances, I wish you were sharing with us the marvelous recovery experience for you AD. But either way, I'm glad you're back!

Troubledone

Welcome back - it must be a convergent of forces in the universe - I am in a very similar situation. My niece did time in the workhouse, rehab, mental health counseling and has been out for about a year now and guess what - she's been using the whole time, violated probation and is back in jail. (they finally caught up with her)

I know the heartbreak of finding out. It is so hard to know what to do. One thing I've decided is to listen to my husband. He has been 100% right about my niece the whole time. I have no perspective because I love her so much. When I listen to him, I have to do hard things like say no, but it always turns out better for everyone.

I pray that you find the answers you need.

Serenity Bound

Thank you everyone, for your understanding & just being there.

It's good to know that I'm not alone on this journey, whether it be the addiction or lack of funds.

Ann

Welcome back, Serenity Bound. I'm sorry she is back at it and pray she finds a better path soon.

It's hard to draw the line between being a loving mom and enabling them. The best we can do is the best we can do and we'll never be perfect no matter how many times we think it through.

Hugs

greeteachday

Glad you have stopped back in but I'm real sorry about your daughter's continued research and your husband's employment situation. It is scary how much the economy is affecting folks who have rarely been significantly touched by it before. Prayers for all of you.

sleepygoat

So sorry you are going thru this. I read someplace that when they get clean and then relapse, its like having to go thru the grief cycle all over again. At any rate, welcome back. I would have done the same thing with the gas in the car, I think. Maybe only fill it enough to get to a meeting and back?