goinginsane

I attended my first alanon meeting today. It was nothing like I expected it to be. I was overwhelmed with emotion, confusion and resentment. I felt like I don't want to go back there again. I was nervous and scared the whole time. What I have ended up doing to myself. It was ironic, that the topic of discussion was how people ended up in Alanon and their reaction towards it when they first started and where they were now. Being a newcomer to the program, I did not know what to do or how to deal with it. They did tell me to go around to other meetings and get comfortable with the group I would fit in or feel comfortable with. Two years with an addict now, I have destroyed myself. I have a lot of independent self improvements I have to work on. I realize that and I will start working on that from this minute on.

Ann

My first three meetings, all I did was cry, sobbing as they handed me tissues. Emotions that had been buried for years began to surface and although that was painful, I knew it was a good start.

Keep going, it gets better, I promise, and it begins to make sense in a very short time. Meetings saved my life, literally.

Hugs

imallright

I am with Ann on this one. My first few meetings were very tough. I too sat and cried. I talked... when I could... and I just had a chance to stop and reflect on what was happening to me and about my life. Denial is often "easier", but it is never better than facing the truth and moving forward. Keep going. It is amazing how you will start to feel the comfort and support and start to heal.

It may feel like picking a scab off a cut for quite awhile, but it is healthy to allow the emotions to surface and escape, leaving room for healing and health.

All the best.

GreenEyedGirl39

Hey GI. Raw emotions are overwhelming sometimes. I have my first Al-anon meeting tonight. I'm a bit excited and nervous too. But I just know that this thing is bigger than me. I have read a couple of books in the last week and now I am on the Big Book for AA. I realize that I have to this up to a higher power and work on myself. I have been neurotic for way too long. Some people have good days and bad days. Well, I have good hours and bad hours. I am flip-flopping that much right now. I know that I must get the tools I need to work on me and the hours should get longer and the days should get longer to where I am more in control of myself. There is just too much information out there pointing me in the direction of meetings and people on this board who repeat the same thing...It works, keep going and keep coming back. Also, they have another saying in that Big Book about doing the same things and expecting the same results. I know I have to put myself out there to get better.

Good luck to you and me. I hope it gets better for both of us and everyone else on the board.

Jody Hepler

My Alanon group suggests that you go to 6 meetings before you make a decision. I cried nonstop in the beginning - and said nothing. I could relate to what people were saying - their hurts and fears - and it scared me. What I tried to do was "just shut down" - but I kept going to meetings every day, because I was so desperate to get some relief.

I also thought that they were going to tell me how to keep the addicts in my life from using. The idea of looking at myself - and that there was help for me - made absolutely no sense.

Slowly it all started to make sense. 25 years later it has changed my life. And I have a very good life - whether or not the addicts in my life are clean or not.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

JMFburns

The first Nar-Anon meeting I attended was so depressing I couldn't go back. Then about eight weeks later I realized my life had gotten even worse, so I did go back. Now that Nar-Anon meeting is something I look forward to every week!

It has helped me to struggle (it is a struggle!) for progress by attending Nar-Anon and Al-Anon weekly, by reading from a daily 12 step book and by reading & posting on SR.

I hope you find E, S & H!

Serenity Bound

Oh yes, I remember my first Alanon meeting and Naranon meeting.
Tears, tears, tears. Luckily I kept going back. Because I was very close to having a breakdown. In fact, in the beginning I went to 3 or 4 meetings a week.

The program has helped me a great deal, it's a safe place to be, a place where you are not judged, and you are really understood.

I hope you will try different meetings and keep going back.

hope213

the meetings will make you stronger. GO!!! & keep coming back here. hugs & prayers,

CatsPajamas

Like Ann and Jody and Serenity Bound and others have said, all I did was cry for my first 4 or 5 weeks worth of meetings. I walked in the door, sat down, cried for an hour... I somehow managed to squeak out my name when we went around the table. And it was just fine with everyone. And ~ oddly enough ~ I always felt better when I left.

What I remember is that I felt safe there. I was finally with people who understood what my life was like. They lived in MY world, not that other parallel universe where most of my friends and family apparently lived - that one NOT affected by alcoholism/addiction.

They understood me in Al anon, even when I didn't say anything. They said Keep coming back. It works.

I looked around for the literature on How to Get Him Sober, or How to Get Him to STOP Doing What He's Doing So We Will Be OKAY. LOL. I guess they were out of those. Instead, they gave me some literature on The MerrygoRound Called Denial, How Al Anon works, etc.

There is hope and love and support and recovery in those rooms. There is a promise of a better and happier life... like Jody (and our literature) says - we learn that we can find contentment and even happiness whether the alcoholic/addict continues to drink/use or not.

Hugs
Cats