shes a danger to herself and others
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1
shes a danger to herself and others
I have done multiple searches on my problem and have only come to limited solutions.
I have a sister, 25, has 1 son who she has already lost custody of. She has grown up under some terrible circumstances. She has been molested as a young girl and then abandoned. She has had a drug and alcohol problem since her young teen years. The father of her son died in a drug overdose, and now she is dangerously close to the same ending. She has been arrested several times and difus has already barred her from seeing her son. She refuses to acknowledge her problems and refuses help or treatment. She is parasitic to everyone who cares about her. She looks like a skeleton with eyes--- she is really bad. It is like watching a loved one die in front of her eyes. At this rate she wont last the rest of the year-- she will commit suicide or overdose before then.
The research i have done and other comments on this forum has told me that nobody can be committed against their will... UNLESS they are a danger to themselves and others..
Well, she IS a danger to herself and others.
What is the process to having her sent somewhere where she cant hurt herself?
it is not as simple as calling 911... no one knows exactly where she is living/staying or when the best time to call them.
please help, i love my sister and I can't stand watching her die. she is safer in any kind of confinement where she cant harm herself.
I have a sister, 25, has 1 son who she has already lost custody of. She has grown up under some terrible circumstances. She has been molested as a young girl and then abandoned. She has had a drug and alcohol problem since her young teen years. The father of her son died in a drug overdose, and now she is dangerously close to the same ending. She has been arrested several times and difus has already barred her from seeing her son. She refuses to acknowledge her problems and refuses help or treatment. She is parasitic to everyone who cares about her. She looks like a skeleton with eyes--- she is really bad. It is like watching a loved one die in front of her eyes. At this rate she wont last the rest of the year-- she will commit suicide or overdose before then.
The research i have done and other comments on this forum has told me that nobody can be committed against their will... UNLESS they are a danger to themselves and others..
Well, she IS a danger to herself and others.
What is the process to having her sent somewhere where she cant hurt herself?
it is not as simple as calling 911... no one knows exactly where she is living/staying or when the best time to call them.
please help, i love my sister and I can't stand watching her die. she is safer in any kind of confinement where she cant harm herself.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by antihero 
I have done multiple searches on my problem and have only come to limited solutions.
I have a sister, 25, has 1 son who she has already lost custody of. She has grown up under some terrible circumstances. She has been molested as a young girl and then abandoned. She has had a drug and alcohol problem since her young teen years. The father of her son died in a drug overdose, and now she is dangerously close to the same ending. She has been arrested several times and difus has already barred her from seeing her son. She refuses to acknowledge her problems and refuses help or treatment. She is parasitic to everyone who cares about her. She looks like a skeleton with eyes--- she is really bad. It is like watching a loved one die in front of her eyes. At this rate she wont last the rest of the year-- she will commit suicide or overdose before then.
The research i have done and other comments on this forum has told me that nobody can be committed against their will... UNLESS they are a danger to themselves and others..
Well, she IS a danger to herself and others.
What is the process to having her sent somewhere where she cant hurt herself?
it is not as simple as calling 911... no one knows exactly where she is living/staying or when the best time to call them.
please help, i love my sister and I can't stand watching her die. she is safer in any kind of confinement where she cant harm herself.
I have a sister, 25, has 1 son who she has already lost custody of. She has grown up under some terrible circumstances. She has been molested as a young girl and then abandoned. She has had a drug and alcohol problem since her young teen years. The father of her son died in a drug overdose, and now she is dangerously close to the same ending. She has been arrested several times and difus has already barred her from seeing her son. She refuses to acknowledge her problems and refuses help or treatment. She is parasitic to everyone who cares about her. She looks like a skeleton with eyes--- she is really bad. It is like watching a loved one die in front of her eyes. At this rate she wont last the rest of the year-- she will commit suicide or overdose before then.
The research i have done and other comments on this forum has told me that nobody can be committed against their will... UNLESS they are a danger to themselves and others..
Well, she IS a danger to herself and others.
What is the process to having her sent somewhere where she cant hurt herself?
it is not as simple as calling 911... no one knows exactly where she is living/staying or when the best time to call them.
please help, i love my sister and I can't stand watching her die. she is safer in any kind of confinement where she cant harm herself.
It's not as simple as you may think. Just because you think she is a danger to herself, doesn't mean she is (according to the hospital) (especially in California-from my experience)
She has to say I am going to kill myself, or she has to be on the brink of death, Literally.... Otherwise they will not keep her.
It happens all the time, people take them in to the hospital on a 5150, and they are released because they are not a danger.
They just had a special on Intervention where the girl sounded similiar to your sister, they had the cops come get her, she was huffing, cutting, bulimic, screaming she wanted to kill herself, the cops brought her in, and she was released in a day.
Or the most they usually ever keep em for is 72 hours.
You can try, just be careful about getting your hopes up of them keeping her.
Usually if you force someone to go in, they just want to get out so they can use, and they are just going to the doctors what they want to hear..
I'm sorry your hurting so bad, Your in a good place, you'll get a lot of support and suggestions here from others who have been through what you are going through. You may also want to check out some Naranon meetings, which others can help you with.
I am almost 3 years clean off meth, so we do recover, but we usually like to recover and get clean on our own time and no one else's. Users are very stubborn.
:ghug3
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
My sister was my lifeline back to sobriety. She never gave up on me. And yes, She called the police on me a few times when I became suicidal. Those were certainly humiliating experiences, but they were also a very important part of me finding a way out of the cycle of addiction.
Good luck to you. She needs to know she is loved, but needs help.
Good luck to you. She needs to know she is loved, but needs help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Spencer IN
Posts: 18
My daughter is an addict who sounds really familiar to your sister. Luckily she was arrested for shoplifting (to resell the item for drug money.) She didn't pass her UDS and was put her in drug court. So now she has the choice to walk the line or go to prison. They sent her away to the state hospital for 4 months to help her as well.
Needless to say, it has been a hard, bumpy road. She had a "relapse" as she put it (active addict for a week & got caught shoplifting again) & is now court ordered to live with me and if that isn't a hard place to be for both of us.
I don't know how comfortable you are with turning her in for drugs, does she sell drugs? But I would rather have my daughter alive in prison with the hope of recovery than dead.
I am sorry this has happened to you and your loved ones.
Needless to say, it has been a hard, bumpy road. She had a "relapse" as she put it (active addict for a week & got caught shoplifting again) & is now court ordered to live with me and if that isn't a hard place to be for both of us.
I don't know how comfortable you are with turning her in for drugs, does she sell drugs? But I would rather have my daughter alive in prison with the hope of recovery than dead.
I am sorry this has happened to you and your loved ones.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
I don't know what it's like in California, but here in Minnesota, our county has a few options. You might find some similar options in California, it might be worth checking out on the web site for the county you live in.
1. We have a service called COPE - I don't know what the acronym stands for but basically, you call the service and they'll come out and assess a person. I have tried this with my addict and while it didn't get her committed, they were helpful in terms of suggestions for alternatives. This is part of the county mental health services.
2. Here in Minnesota, the other way to get someone commited is to petition it. What is needed is a petitioner (that would be you) and a signed agreement of a physician or psychiatrist. The agreement is the tricky part, of course. The way it was suggested to me is that if my neice ever showed up in the emergency room, I could ask a doctor there...
3. While my niece was in jail, I was able to get them to do a phsych evaluation on her, but it was as much luck as anything. They wouldn't listen to my concerns until after she failed to appear for several court hearing, then they called me and asked if there might be some mental health issues.
For my niece, jail has been the best rehab. Its the only place she hasn't been able to use.
I know the frustration of the saying "a danger to self or others". Basically, I've found that even when my niece was exhibiting psychotic behavior and engaging in high speed chases with the cops, they didn't consider that a danger to self or others. I guess they have to be overtly suicidal or brandishing a weapon before they consider someone a danger.
I pray that your sister's HP helps her to find her way. I know the agony of watching someone you love deteriorate.
Prayers for health and peace...
1. We have a service called COPE - I don't know what the acronym stands for but basically, you call the service and they'll come out and assess a person. I have tried this with my addict and while it didn't get her committed, they were helpful in terms of suggestions for alternatives. This is part of the county mental health services.
2. Here in Minnesota, the other way to get someone commited is to petition it. What is needed is a petitioner (that would be you) and a signed agreement of a physician or psychiatrist. The agreement is the tricky part, of course. The way it was suggested to me is that if my neice ever showed up in the emergency room, I could ask a doctor there...
3. While my niece was in jail, I was able to get them to do a phsych evaluation on her, but it was as much luck as anything. They wouldn't listen to my concerns until after she failed to appear for several court hearing, then they called me and asked if there might be some mental health issues.
For my niece, jail has been the best rehab. Its the only place she hasn't been able to use.
I know the frustration of the saying "a danger to self or others". Basically, I've found that even when my niece was exhibiting psychotic behavior and engaging in high speed chases with the cops, they didn't consider that a danger to self or others. I guess they have to be overtly suicidal or brandishing a weapon before they consider someone a danger.
I pray that your sister's HP helps her to find her way. I know the agony of watching someone you love deteriorate.
Prayers for health and peace...
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
How to Get Someone Committed to a Mental Hospital - wikiHow
How to Get Someone Committed to a Mental Hospital
It varies from state to state. In general, involuntary committment is done by a doctor, therapist, or court. You also mention drinking. The key is usually that the person has to be a theat to him/herself or others. People without insight may have to be committed several times until they will cooperate to keep themselves out of the hospital.
[edit] Steps
1. Your first step is to protect yourself. If you are harmed by the person, you will no longer be able to help them. Thus one place to begin is by taking out a restraining order against the person who is abusing you. If they violate the restraining order, you can call the police -- mentioning the mental illness -- and they will arrest the person. Often they will bring in an emergency services team, which will include a physician who can commit the person. Even in a criminal justice process there is usually an opportunity for the person to volunteer for a detox or a mental examination.
2. If you are quite safe, you may have time to learn more. Contact your state chapter of NAMI, or the state department of mental health (under various names.)
3. Assuming you are safe, try to document the illness. Save those poisonous phone messages or warning notes, contact (safety first) others who have witnessed psychotic or threatening or suicidal talk or behavior.
4. With this material you can obtain that restraining order, or approach the person's physician or (if possible) psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker.
5. Cutbacks have shortened hospital stays dangerously. If you can participate in discharge planning, insist on real signs of progress, real supports for recovery, and real protections. Always have a "Plan B." You can sometimes block a premature discharge by strong advocacy.
[edit] Tips
* Local law enforcement is aware of mental illness, and may have training in dealing with it, or may be able to refer you. You should not let shame or stigma keep you from the police or sheriff's office.
* I cannot overstress your personal safety. While the vast majority of people with a mental illness or a substance abuse issue are not violent, they are unpredictable and may not "be themselves" in a psychotic break or when someone threatens their addiction.
* Research does not support the group intervention approach to substance abuse. It would appear that drinkers need to find a bottom in natural consequences.
* Mental illnesses often affect judgement and as many as half of people with psychotic illnesses (Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Psychotic Depression) will not admit or actually do not know that they have a mental illness. So they don't find a bottom easily.
[edit] Warnings
* Your personal safety. If this is a family member or someone you love and care for, you should stay with them as long as you can, but you should not go down with them.
Here's another article also about having an addict/alcoholic committed.
Addiction Alcoholism Can You Have a Relative That Needs Treatment Committed?
How to Get Someone Committed to a Mental Hospital
It varies from state to state. In general, involuntary committment is done by a doctor, therapist, or court. You also mention drinking. The key is usually that the person has to be a theat to him/herself or others. People without insight may have to be committed several times until they will cooperate to keep themselves out of the hospital.
[edit] Steps
1. Your first step is to protect yourself. If you are harmed by the person, you will no longer be able to help them. Thus one place to begin is by taking out a restraining order against the person who is abusing you. If they violate the restraining order, you can call the police -- mentioning the mental illness -- and they will arrest the person. Often they will bring in an emergency services team, which will include a physician who can commit the person. Even in a criminal justice process there is usually an opportunity for the person to volunteer for a detox or a mental examination.
2. If you are quite safe, you may have time to learn more. Contact your state chapter of NAMI, or the state department of mental health (under various names.)
3. Assuming you are safe, try to document the illness. Save those poisonous phone messages or warning notes, contact (safety first) others who have witnessed psychotic or threatening or suicidal talk or behavior.
4. With this material you can obtain that restraining order, or approach the person's physician or (if possible) psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker.
5. Cutbacks have shortened hospital stays dangerously. If you can participate in discharge planning, insist on real signs of progress, real supports for recovery, and real protections. Always have a "Plan B." You can sometimes block a premature discharge by strong advocacy.
[edit] Tips
* Local law enforcement is aware of mental illness, and may have training in dealing with it, or may be able to refer you. You should not let shame or stigma keep you from the police or sheriff's office.
* I cannot overstress your personal safety. While the vast majority of people with a mental illness or a substance abuse issue are not violent, they are unpredictable and may not "be themselves" in a psychotic break or when someone threatens their addiction.
* Research does not support the group intervention approach to substance abuse. It would appear that drinkers need to find a bottom in natural consequences.
* Mental illnesses often affect judgement and as many as half of people with psychotic illnesses (Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Psychotic Depression) will not admit or actually do not know that they have a mental illness. So they don't find a bottom easily.
[edit] Warnings
* Your personal safety. If this is a family member or someone you love and care for, you should stay with them as long as you can, but you should not go down with them.
Here's another article also about having an addict/alcoholic committed.
Addiction Alcoholism Can You Have a Relative That Needs Treatment Committed?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 427
Pretty much you can call 911 and have her Baker Acted which means she is a harm to herself or others or both.
They will commit her but again if she doesn't want the help she will probably be out in 24-72 hours. Unless she is found by the examining Doc to have major problems. Now the fact that you think it is major and it is, doesn't mean they will think so. The law doesn't always work with us. But it won't hurt anything to try and get her help. Also I am not in Ca so not sure about laws there. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
They will commit her but again if she doesn't want the help she will probably be out in 24-72 hours. Unless she is found by the examining Doc to have major problems. Now the fact that you think it is major and it is, doesn't mean they will think so. The law doesn't always work with us. But it won't hurt anything to try and get her help. Also I am not in Ca so not sure about laws there. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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