Language of Letting Go - August 14 - Owning Our Power
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - August 14 - Owning Our Power
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Owning Our Power
Many of us have someone in our life that challenges our ability to trust and care for ourselves.
When we hear that person's voice or are in his or her presence, we may forget all we know about what is real, about how to own our power, about how to be direct, about what we know and believe to be true, about how important we are.
We give up our power to that person. The child in us gets hooked with a mixture of powerful feelings - love, fear, or anger. We may feel trapped, helpless, or so attracted that we can't think straight. There may be a powerful tug of war going between feelings of anger and our need to be loved and accepted, or between our head and our heart.
We may be so enamored or intimidated that we revert to our belief that we can't react or respond to this person any differently.
We get hooked.
We don't have to stay under a spell.
We start by becoming aware of the people who hook us, and then accepting that.
We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and uncomfortable.
Search out our motivations. Are we somehow trying to control or influence the other person? We cannot change the other person, but we can stop playing our part of the game. One good way to do this is by detaching and letting go of any need to control.
The next step is learning to own our power to take care of ourselves, to be who we are free from their influence. We can learn to own our power with difficult people. It may not happen overnight, but we can begin, today, to change our self-defeating reactions to the people who have hooked us.
God, help me identify the relationships where I have forfeited my power. Help me unhook and begin owning my power.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Owning Our Power
Many of us have someone in our life that challenges our ability to trust and care for ourselves.
When we hear that person's voice or are in his or her presence, we may forget all we know about what is real, about how to own our power, about how to be direct, about what we know and believe to be true, about how important we are.
We give up our power to that person. The child in us gets hooked with a mixture of powerful feelings - love, fear, or anger. We may feel trapped, helpless, or so attracted that we can't think straight. There may be a powerful tug of war going between feelings of anger and our need to be loved and accepted, or between our head and our heart.
We may be so enamored or intimidated that we revert to our belief that we can't react or respond to this person any differently.
We get hooked.
We don't have to stay under a spell.
We start by becoming aware of the people who hook us, and then accepting that.
We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and uncomfortable.
Search out our motivations. Are we somehow trying to control or influence the other person? We cannot change the other person, but we can stop playing our part of the game. One good way to do this is by detaching and letting go of any need to control.
The next step is learning to own our power to take care of ourselves, to be who we are free from their influence. We can learn to own our power with difficult people. It may not happen overnight, but we can begin, today, to change our self-defeating reactions to the people who have hooked us.
God, help me identify the relationships where I have forfeited my power. Help me unhook and begin owning my power.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I came to recovery because I knew I had to change...my behaviour, my thoughts, my way of living. I knew what was wrong in my life, but I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't know "how" to change.
I am so grateful that I finally found my meetings, I am so grateful that a wonderful sponsor guided me through working the steps, and I am so grateful for the support of the people in my fellowship and at SR.
I could not have done it alone but the good news was that I didn't have to. This is a "we" program where we walk together.
Thank you for walking with me. :ghug
I am so grateful that I finally found my meetings, I am so grateful that a wonderful sponsor guided me through working the steps, and I am so grateful for the support of the people in my fellowship and at SR.
I could not have done it alone but the good news was that I didn't have to. This is a "we" program where we walk together.
Thank you for walking with me. :ghug
Perfectly Imperfect
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: H
Posts: 129
Thank you so much Ann. You really are heaven sent. You provide so much insight and wisdom in this forum. I think it is safe to say you are very much appreciated. Thank you for all of your inspiration!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: BFE
Posts: 116
We start by becoming aware of the people who hook us, and then accepting that.
We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and uncomfortable.
I like that part the best. I tried so hard to a) be aware of the people who "hooked" me, but apparently didn't do the b) by accepting that.
I also did not force myself to react differently to that person, and instead almost literally pushed that person away instead of dealing with my own problems. I masked that for a long time, and physically getting away didn't really help at all.
Needed that today - thanks!
We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and uncomfortable.
I like that part the best. I tried so hard to a) be aware of the people who "hooked" me, but apparently didn't do the b) by accepting that.
I also did not force myself to react differently to that person, and instead almost literally pushed that person away instead of dealing with my own problems. I masked that for a long time, and physically getting away didn't really help at all.
Needed that today - thanks!
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