rozied

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I spoke to my mom today & here she was planning to send Joey $100 to add to what he has to pay a lawyer, My ex called me & said tell your mom if you start with a lawyer you have to finish. Here I am thinking we are all in agreement not to pay out anymore money for Joey. He says a part of him is giving the 12 step answer but he knows how Joey feels & he doesn't think jail helps. It doesn't matter if it helps or not......... It is in God's Hands. Joey is a 41 yr old man & he put himself there. If he doesn't have the money to hire a lawyer he should get a Public Defender. Sure his family has some money but the truth is I am broke & my parents have laid out more than enough. If my parents have to be broke in order to say no then so be it. Let them pay out money for Joey till theres no more left.
They make me feel like I am crazy like if I loved him I do it even though I see all the money so far has never helped anything & he has nothing to show for it. My ex more or less saying if you love him do it.

JMFburns

rozied,

Sorry you seem to have to keep going through the same thing over and over with your parents. You keep strong in your beliefs and like you mentioned, if they have to go broke to learn their own lesson, so be it. You've set your boundary, stay strong and stick to it!

Turn your parents over to your HP and let go . . .

Ann

Rozie, maybe now would be a good time to stop discussing your son with any of them. If you ex doesn't like what they are doing, he can call them. If they want to hire a lawyer, just have no part of it.

What matters here, Rozie, is you. Maybe just put your hands in the air, take a giant step back and keep your hands off the Codies...and the Addict...and anyone who wants you to participate in this drama. Exit the theatre Rose, turn in your front row seat, and find your own peace, even though others cannot find theirs.

It's okay to say no, it's the right thing to say no...don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.

Phewww. I think I'm done now.

Hugs

NeedingHelp7

You're staying out of thier plans to pay a lawyer is wise rozie.

NH7

deezaldog

Stand strong and hold the faith. Maybe I missed past posts if you mentioned your sons age. I was shocked to find out he is 41yo! I thought you had been talking about a immature, irresponsible 21yo. Wow! Time for him to grow up the hard way. Sounds like he is a great con that can make you feel sorry for him very well.
How would you feel about yourself if you gave in to all the guilt trips you are given?
Keep the faith.

marle

Rozie, Take a deep breath and do something nice for you. Something that will give you some peace in the middle of the chaos. Hugs, Marle

BBD

rozied~~Your walking in the right direction and in time your parents will see this. Stay strong and I'm sending some hugs your way. Smiles, Bonnie

krhea75

someone once said to me on this site, if love was enough we wouldn't have any addicts. It's not a matter of how much we love our sons. it is a matter of their being ready to be sober. Mine's not there yet, and I'm getting damn tired of it. How about you?
krhea

rozied

Damm tired is an understatement Krrhea. I know I can't control what anyone else does. Ann you are so right. I am not giving another red cent. It is just so hard seeing them destroy my son. I KNOW I cannot change them.
I feel like a broken record saying the same thing over & over. I am just so frustrated. They say they are done & then the next day everything is different.

Ann

I hear this loud and clear, Rozie, because I had to let go each day, otherwise I fell back on my fear and repeated my mistakes over and over until I was exhausted and just could not hang on anymore.

We see it in "them" but if we both take a look in the mirror, I think we see it in us too. They say that the faults we see in others annoy us because we see the same faults in ourselves and for me that has been an eye opener.

Just for today, let's both let go of other people, let them go about their business doing what they do, and just keep our side of the street clean. That's good enough for me, and in the end, it's all I can control anyway.

Hugs