Callie

If someone does a 30 day treatment, works the meetings etc? Seems their are alot of relapses here lately - just wondering if their are concrete stats out there for relapse?

justanothrdrunk

I've heard (can't cite this) that it's about one in ten that stay sober for a year.

I was in treatment for 5 months and I think there are only 3-4 of us (out of 34 together for those 5 months) that have not relapsed.

That said, several who have relapsed got back on the wagon quickly and are doing well.

rahsue

someone once said to me or I read it here, that relapse is part of recovery, I wasn't sure what that meant but I have seen it I think, my son went to a 30 day rehab, (he wanted to go) he came home and relapsed within 1 hour. He was so mad at himself it scared me. that was the last time he used. I never asked him why he did it, after all its his recovery right. (thats me showing off my recovery, lol) anyway, thats what comes to mind when I hear relapse is part of recovery.

justanothrdrunk

Relapse is part of addiction, it's not part of recovery.

littlebird77

I think you may feel that you see a lot of relapses here, just like you would see a lot of injuries in a hospital and not in a book store.

Chino

Very recently I read something about the compliance rate of type II diabetes being similar to addiction (less than 50%). Makes sense since sugar and mood altering drugs share the same pathway in the brain.

Spiritual Seeker

Bouncing back after relapse is an indicator of success.

Chino

I agree Spiritual Seeker, just like when a diabetic puts down the sugar and gets back on their diet.

Impurrfect

((Callie))

I tried to post earlier, but am having computer problems.

If you are an addict, there is a risk of relapse and it is directly based on how much you want recovery.

To me, statistics on addicts don't mean squat. No one has ever asked me, or any other addict I know, about our recovery.

If he wants recovery...he will get it. If he doesn't, he will relapse. Sounds harsh, but that's the way it is.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

cinderellawkids

Of the group of people my husband spent 2 years in drug court with, over half have repeated a post drug court rehab, are in prison for new drug related charges or have been in jail since for same. Of the remaining, less than half of those will you find in area meetings and they may, or may not be clean.
We've seen a great majority of the people from the last rehab center he was in, on the streets in questionable, places behavior and attire. My husband has managed to not reeat jail or rehab but has not stayed clean.
I can also say the ones we thought would make it....havent

Abundance

Just as I don't *understand* addiction, I now can say I don't understand relapse... especially the kind that happens after spending a month in rehab. If there are no tools, I can understand THAT.... but when tools have been given..... I rack my brain to understand. But there is no understanding addiction.

My guy would call me up from rehab letting me know what those statistics were....... 5% actually staying clean. That would really get him down. Shoot.. it'd get me down. So I wouldn't think about it. My guy said he was in a lecture of about 10 people... and the counselor said statistically how many would die, relapse, be on the streets/incarcerated, or be clean.

When my guy got out he was talking recovery. I heard him say to a friend in the fellow ship.... "Look man, we don't HAVE another recovery in us.... we have to get it right the first time!" That was just a few weeks before he went and relapsed.

Talk is cheap! Action is where it's at. Also..... expectations are just future resentments.

eaglesgirl

19 months ago my RAH began a drug court program with about 50 other addicts...

My RAH is the only one left at his stage 3 (once a month court appearance) vs. stage 1 (once a week appearance)... The others are either in jail, long-term inpatient, or still at stage one.

It only works if they work it...

ZombieWife

I think the number of recovering addicts that really WANT to recover, have hit their appropriate bottom and are willing to work a good program are going to be higher in number than just a general blanket number.

Consider that many people who try to recover may have been forced into it by the court, attempted it w/o really having their heart in it, or doing it to appease others (family, friends, etc.)

I think when an addict really and truly decides to recover and gives it their best, the numbers are different than just "any ole' person who decides to try and stop for x___random reason."

hello-kitty

Not to be a book thumper, but I LOVE this quote from AA. In my experience, I had to be working and still am working a program to stay clean (not AA but my own personal program of recovery) I had to get honest and stay honest every day about my addiction.

Everyone I know who has gotten and stayed clean has done so because they are entirely focused on staying clean. They have an attitude of gratitude. Those who don't (who have an attitude of entitlement) usually relaspe.

I think the following says it all.

deezaldog

Stats vary to the individual and their desire to stay sober. The only stats I can tell you is that the longer a person is in rehab. the better the success.
In AA we only ask for today to have a reprieve from drinking. No garauntee can be given. I have know people with many years of sobriety and relapse. All I can do is hope that I do not drink today. I can not look into the future for my sobriety, only today.

CarolD

hmm...
I've been 100% relapse free for over 19 years.
It took me 4 years to actually quit.

I had to want sobriety
more than I wanted to drink

Then I quit going in and out of recovery.

Callie

So what if your AH is in rehab (8 days now), working the steps, working with counselors etc. Admitting that he WANTS to be high, but will fight it. But also says "callie, you need to let me know if you're going to divorce me." "If that's what you're going to do then I have nothing and I will leave right now because without you I have nothing. I'll just choose to remain high and sober up whenever I have the kids."

How would you handle that?? He's manipulating me, I KNOW. But the thing is he really means it. He lost his job. Without me he's lost the only real healthy family he's ever known. Lost a beautiful house etc. Without me and the things that come with it he REALLY has lost it all. BUT he's chosen this path.

I've been so depressed over the entire thing for 2 days it's all I can do to function. How do you deal with the guilt from all of this crap even though he CHOSE it! I do NOT trust him, I don't WANT to trust him. I don't WANT to devote another 10 years for bump after bump with relapse after relapse. If I can get almost a "guarantee" that he'll be clean than fine - I'll try yet again. But I know that I cannot get that. I also don't trust myself to not know if he's using.

BayAreaPhoenix

(((Callie)))

You're forgetting the 3 C's - they are the basics, and they are true! You didn't Cause it, You can't Control it and you can't Cure it!

Sweetie - he's looking for an excuse. Have you found some meetings to get some support? Individual therapy? There's not going to be any guarantees. Heck there aren't any guarantees with non-addicts! It's up to you, your choice based on what YOU need and want, etc. You know the drill. People first, then things! A house is a house! things are things. You are your children's Mom no matter what and where! Stay focused on your priorities and you will have your answer.

he's already setting you up to "take the blame". Question is... are you going to accept it?

(((hugs)))

Prayers and love to you!!!!

hello-kitty

Addiction isn't about things. It's about drugs. Unfortunately, things, a loving wife and beautiful children do not keep an addict from relapsing. It's about the attitude. He has to want to stay clean for himself. What's his attitude telling you??

Personally I think it's crappy when someone says, "if you don't do what I want, then I might as well get high". That's not an attitude of gratitude OR recovery. That's entitlement and manipulation.

He's only been in there 8 days. It's really really easy to make promises to stay clean from rehab. It's much harder to actually stay clean when you get out.

If he relapses, that doesn't mean you have to. Keep working on your own recovery. Stay in the now. Focus on what you need to do to take care of yourself and your children right now and let him focus on his recovery.

I'm thinking you will know what to do by his actions and his attitude once he gets out. Trust has to be earned back and that will take time...and hard work on his part...

Unfortunately there are no guarantees in life.

itisatruth

That says so much Carol. My AH has been in and out of the "rooms" for more than 20 years. When I first met him he claimed to have been in recovery for "many years", but later I found out the most "clean time" he ever had was a bit less than 5 years. Another important thing: he has never worked all 12 steps. I think he has gotten to 9. Honestly, and unfortunately, I don't think he has really wanted sobriety -- at least not for a while.

I do believe, though, "it works if you work it". What I mean is, I have seen several of his friends find long term sobriety, through dedication and work and honesty.