Callie

That's my biggest fear - I know AH is clean right now in the confines of a very good rehab. But what about when he gets out. Right now he does not have to worry about $$, putting food on the table, paying the electric bill etc. He's in rehab, all of that is provided. What about when he gets out and the stress of the life that we all have to lead start to put pressure on him again. I don't know that AH has the mental capacity to remain clean for the REST of his life. Just a mess and I hate the guilt that he's putting on me. But he really means it - he'd rather just be high if he's all by himself. That in itsself says alot about how successful his recovery can or will be.

NeedingHelp7

It looks like deep in your heart you already knew it was going to happen or already did.
I've had this intuition (God given), before also. I've almost knew every time without AH saying a word.

Huggs,
NH7

Abundance

My guy blames this relapse on the stresses of not having a job and providing for our family. Even though time and time again he was taught in rehab that if he didn't stay clean..... he wouldn't have his family, his job, and more and more things will just keep disappearing. Recovery comes FIRST...... everything else will fall into place. He saw that and was experiencing it for a month out of rehab, and he picked up. And 3 out of those 6 days after the initial relapse he got high.

Bottom line.... if they relapse there is pretty much a good chance we have no idea just how they are going to do it and the reasoning behind it.

Some wise people here have said that "relapse isn't a part of recovery! I'm in recovery and nowhere in my plan of recovery does it say I'm going to relapse". I feel there is a lot of power in that!

When you relapse...... you get back into recovery.... start back up again in recovery... from DAY 1....

if not.... you are still an addict, but an addict that over rid the committee and really just took a break from using! There is no using in recovery.... period.

lightseeker

Callie -

as much as I'm sad to say it I think that it sounds like he is telling you exactly where he is in all of this. The only reason anyone gets and stays sober is for themselves. Either he wants it or he doesn't. I'd try not to feel guilty - it's his addict saying all of this crap. Sounds like the same old same old. Working my own program is the only thing that helps me to stay away from the guilts and shennanigans of dealing with an addict - sober or not. Actually, I need it just to deal with life.

There are no guarantees and his track record says that he has a long way to go. What do you need to feel safe, secure, and happy? That's how I develop my bottom lines.

Hang in there girl!

outtolunch

I once read of a university study that tracked heroin addicted inmates for more than 20 years, following their release. Only after being clean for 5 years, did the percentages of long term recovery increase.

Hazelden ( Butler University) is doing a long term study of former patients.