Update On AS
 

My AS is still in jail. He violated the wk release conditions, by getting into an arguement at wk. I was told he used racial slurs. They fired him. He recieved a Misconduct for it, was sent bk to jail & his parole for Sept 10th was canceled. He has written my parents numerous letters wanting them to sell a car he had purchased so he could hire a lawyer. Not that I think a lawyer can even do any good with this. As far as I know this won't make him stay in jail 17 more months ( the rest of his original sentence ) What it will do is make him stay another 3 mts until he is eligible to apply for parole again. My ex husband has been involved as my AS calls him from jail & accepts the charges. I am sure it is because he feels guilty. My ex then started calling my parents about all of this.
As it stands now my ex's cousin is thinking of buying the car. I have not seen or spoken to these people for almost 30yrs yet she had the nerve to ask me if she bought the car could she use my address to insure it as rates are cheaper in my state!!! I said absolutely not. I have too much to lose.
Well now my ex is telling me if she does buy it, the money is going to go to my dad since my son beat him out of the money to buy it to begin with.
If someone would have told me 6 mts ago my ex would be involved in our lives again, I never would have believed it. Not after almost 30yrs.
If my ex gives the money to my dad that would really teach my son a lesson. To get burned like he has burned us so many times. But the reality is he is not having anything wrong done to him. He conned my parents out of the money to begin with PLUS he left 2 88yr old people standing in front of the courthouse for 2 hrs while he snuck out the back door. To do this to people who have never been anything but good to him is beyond me.
This whole situation is such a big mess, I am glad I am not involved in it.
I only want my son to get well. I have done alot of thinking & I truly believe my son is one with a dual diagnosis. I believe his problem is more than drug addiction. I think my son is Bi-Polar & really needs psychiatric help.
All I can do is pray oneday he realizes it & asks for the help he so desperately needs.

Sending some hugs to you and remember that your son is just doing "what addicts do". To try to understand his behavior is useless. To try to understand why your parents keep going to bat for your son is also useless. The only thing you can do is let go and I think you are doing a good job with that part. Your ex has been there and so maybe he is the person who can get through to your son. Lord knows you have tried enough times. Prayers for everyone involved. Hugs, Marle

((((Rozie)))

Sending you hugs and prayers. Marle is right...trying to understand his behavior is futile. I can't even begin to explain MY behavior when I was using...makes no sense to me NOW, but it made sense at the time.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

I know how painful this is.

I do truly believe my AD has psychiatric issues that extend far beyond her addictions.

Keeping you in my prayers (((hugs)))

Thanks Devon, I am sure u r right regarding your daughter just as I am pretty sure I am right about my son.
All we can do though is pray cuz you know nothing makes a difference UNLESS they want it to.
Love,
Diane

Yes, they do have to want it.

Mine called me recently to let me know she had moved...again.

Somehow we got on the subject of counseling (I've been in counseling since last December due to a really bad slip into depression), and she mentioned that her psychiatrist might prescribe her benzodiazapines for her 'social anxiety', and that was great because she could make some good money selling those.

She talked about it just as casually as though discussing a recipe for bread or something.

There is no emotion, over the phone, or face to face, other than everything is funny to her.

I've worked with other addicts over the years and even when they are using, you can still see the pain in their eyes.

There is nothing behind her eyes, and that scares me.

No conscience, nothing.

Sigh.

Until they are sober for a year, it is tough to determine mental health issues apart from addiction issues.

Sounds like you are ready to let go and detach with love. This is just too much to
comprehend. There is no answer to why.

I too hope your son has some influence that makes him open up to a different way to live. Often that influence does not come from the family, although sometimes it does.

May you know peace as your son struggles.

Rosie, The thing is that you are involved "emotionally". Maybe your ex will take over here as someone suggested. Trying to understand our A kids is pointless I think. We try and try and it just doesn't come out right. It is time to stop the insanity of the worry about them and worry about you and the stress your under. I have had to move out from under my stress and I am trying to be free of it. You can do this too, your sone will see the light when he wants to. (((hugs))

Oh Freedom, My AS thinks everything is funny too. It is so inappropriate somethimes the way he laughs at things, but even when he laughs I do see the pain behind his eyes. Everyone says he has no conscience too but I believe he does deep down inside. It is so very sad.