Giving It All To Him

Old 08-01-2008, 04:34 AM
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Giving It All To Him

There comes a point in every situation when you must accept that you have done all you can humanely do.
I am at the point with my son. I have done all that I can do, now I must place him in the hands of his HP, and as Ann always says, things will happen the way they are suppossed to.
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Old 08-01-2008, 05:04 AM
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I remember so well the very moment I pulled my car off the road (after going to a crack house to try and rescue my son), in tears sobbing I said a prayer saying "I can't do this anymore God, it's just not working and I cannot do one more day of it...he's all Yours" and I remember a sense of immediate relief, as if God were saying back to me "It's about time, girl, don't worry, your son has always been in My care.

Rozie, people ask me how I do it, how I live with my son missing for 4 years now and yet live a good, happy life seeing the beauty in each day. All I can tell anyone is that I don't do it alone, God walks with me and my son each day and my faith in all that lets me live my life as God intended, free from fear and in peace.

God's walking with you and your son too, you already know that, but just for today please know that I'm walking with you too and sharing my light until yours shines more brightly.

Love you Rozie, take a moment this morning and just look at the world as I do, listen to the birds, smell the summer air, and know that everything is unfolding as planned.

Huge Mom to Mom Hugs
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Old 08-01-2008, 05:31 AM
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I know how hard this is for you, but I'm so glad you're at this point in your life.

My mechanic, Dave, is also a very good friend. I stop by, just to chat, or vent about something and he's always got something good to say. The man is a walking lesson in serenity. I just recently found out that his daughter is an addict, and like Ann's son, has been MIA for 4 years.

He, and the great people here, are teaching me that no matter WHAT life hands you, we can still have a good life. It's taken me 46 years, being a huge codie and an addict, to learn what life is really about. I've learned so much from you, and others here, how much "letting go and letting God" helps me.

Sending you big hugs and prayers!

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Old 08-01-2008, 06:21 AM
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I wish I had some words to share,
you are in my thoughts and prayers-
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Old 08-01-2008, 06:52 AM
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You remain in my prayers. I know there is a great peace coming your way!
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Old 08-01-2008, 09:44 AM
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Reading all your posts has moved me to tears. It is funny how you just oneday get to the place where you know it is finished. Jim & I are both 60 now & helping our son Chris raise his 2 little ones. There is enough stress in our lives without having a 41 yr old man dump on us.........every problem he has is of his own making. He has had more help than anyone & none of it has ever did a bit of good. You cannot save someone from himself. He is his own worst enemy. If he wants to change his life it is up to him to do it.

Thank you all again for the wonderful posts,
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Old 08-01-2008, 11:45 AM
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get it, give it, grow in it
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May you find peace as you surrender with the realization that you truly are
powerless in your son's life.
I say a prayer most days. " God please watch over and take care of my son " which helps
me to release him each day.

One day at a time we get a new beginning.
Letting Go of your son will allow you to let go the fear, worry and stress.
Hopefully you can focus on the what is good in your life.
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Old 08-01-2008, 01:41 PM
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I am so sorry - and I do know the pain - and the surrender, which happened only when I just couldn't do it any more. And then I felt guilty for the relief!

But I had to do absolutely everything I did, in order to be at the point of letting go.

One of the things I hung on to - "Give your son to God - He is up all night anyway - and put your head down and sleep". So I pictured him with the angels hovering over him, and I was able to sleep. As you know - 20 years later he is clean and sober one year - and doing well.

And so am I. He has a recovering Alanonish mother - who can love him, not badger him for details of what meetings he is going to and other details that are not my business, and is no longer the neighborhood crazy lady.

God is good!

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

P.S. And just like me, you have exerience, strength and hope to share with other suffering Moms. There is life after our kids' addictions - whether or not they ever get sober.
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Old 08-01-2008, 04:39 PM
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Thank you all so much.
AwakeAwake, I have an unshakeable faith in God. Without it I couldn't live another day. He has been my best friend & Saviour since I found my faith in 1976.
With the grace of God I will be fine. As far as my AS goes all I can do is pray.
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Old 08-01-2008, 05:09 PM
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Hi rozied, I know exactly how you feel. My hubby and I have also been there for our son for years and I'm afraid he is now back into smoking crack. We have givrn him over to his and our HP and only hoping for the best. Nothing we have done has helped to make him see the light so I finally understand what we have to do. It's tough but sounds like you have your hands full and its time to enjoy life and help those that appreciate it. My best to you and your family, Smiles, Bonnie
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Old 08-01-2008, 05:30 PM
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If he wants to change his life it is up to him to do it.
This realization often comes with a dear price. In my experience I had to go through alot of pain before I knew, that I knew, that I knew...that I cannot control other people, places or things.

It doesn't just apply to the addict or alcoholic but to all of my relationships and encounters in life.

Knowing this has taught me to let go of my expectations of others and focus on what I can do instead of what I cannot. It's my way to paraphrase the Serenity Prayer.

I'm so happy that you have experienced a breakthrough with letting go and letting God.
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Old 08-01-2008, 05:43 PM
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I feel like i have so many moms in the same situation as myself. Its so hard to give them to their HP but when theres nothing else for us to do its all we have. I pray for all of you.
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Old 08-01-2008, 09:31 PM
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You are a wonderful woman and a good mom. You have done all you can and now all that is left is to continue to love him and give him to his HP. There is always hope.
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