should I prosecute/jail my addicted nephew?

Old 08-01-2008, 10:31 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
1963comet's Avatar
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Just want to say that Jail will show him he has to pay for his actions. And if he does go to jail there will be probation that follows. The probation department will make sure he follows treatment if that is ordered. And you can tell the courts why he wanted money. Do not know him but if you get away with it once, you might do it again.

Some might think the worse about jail. But it is not as scary as you think. Been there myself and my son has been in and out of prison.

If it can be worked out without the law that would be good. Not trying to sound hard but wanted to let you know my thoughts. I would rather see him in jail than sick or worse by drugs. Jail will keep him from using and probation will put him back in jail if he does.
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Old 08-01-2008, 10:35 AM
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“what do I have to do to stay out of trouble?”
If you preface every action, every lie, every manipulation or every explanation that comes out of an addicts mouth with this question, you begin to get a clear answer of why addicts do what they do. Their behavior will start to make perfect sense to you.

Their goal is to continue using their drug of choice without interference from anyone for as long as possible.
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Old 08-01-2008, 04:49 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I forced my son into treatment or the courts did after I had him arrested for trying to sell adderall. No treatment is wasted even though it didn't turn my son around. Everytime the addict goes through treatment, they learn something that may help them on to recovery. It may not happen at the time, but maybe someday. Rehab isn't an instant remedy, but a beginning of thinking and acting differently.

My son is also facing jail time due to failing to keep the requirements of probation. I was upset at first, but I'm learning to stand back and let the situation be what it is. he will not die in jail. He might on the streets.

You sound like a good aunt, but that is a lot of money! yikes! Whatever you decide to do, know that there are many of us here caring for you,
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Old 08-01-2008, 06:55 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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My son stole from my parents many yrs ago. My dad did not press charges because my mom cried & begged him not to. You know what that taught my son, that he could do what he wants son will be 42 in Sept & still hasn't learned a thing.
In this life there are consequences for your actions. If your nephew stole from strangers they would press charges & he would learn something.
As someone above said at least while in jail they have 3 hots & a cot. Better for an addict to be in jail than out on the street where they could overdose or get their brains blown out in a bad drug deal. Whenever my son is incarcerated I breathe a sigh of relief.
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Old 08-01-2008, 08:22 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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If it were me, I would press charges. He's had the intervention. He's made his choice. Sometimes, jail is the bottom that many addicts need. I guess I would rather have someone dislike me for pressing charges than be dead from an overdose. Tough love is hard, though. Many hugs to you.
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Old 08-02-2008, 09:38 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Many, many thanks for the input and advice. I did speak to the couselor (delays in getting the consent). Apparently he left treatment because they told him up front he'd likely need a year long program.

The recommendation was to press charges. I'm deeply worried, but now firmly believe its the right thing to do. I will pray that it happens quickly and makes a difference, but I do now realize I'm not responsible for the outcome.

It was very important for me to hear from people who've been there, on both sides of the fence.
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Old 08-02-2008, 09:51 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I'm glad you realize that it's HIS consequences that are bringing about your reaction.

I hope he soon WANTS the help..not just to keep him out of jail. It sounds like he will have a lot of support once he gets to that point.

Keep us posted.

Hugs and prayers!

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Old 08-03-2008, 08:17 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Again I am very sorry you are going through this with your godson. It’s a very emotional place they bring us to and it’s not fair. We tend to feel the guilt far more then they do and it’s their behavior that brings these situations about.

I am glad you spoke with the counselor and were able to gain the truth about why he left and what it is he is still running away from.

I hope you continue to post and may I suggest you read all there is to read on here about detaching with love.
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Old 08-03-2008, 10:37 AM
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Me again. I asked my son why he kept going back to prison. He said mom I just got away with it so many times. He did not think he was going to get caught.

People that break the law do not think they will end up in jail. My son went for stolen property and I went to jail for DUI.

I have not drank for 7 1/2 years and my son quit stealing. We have both learned that there is a price to pay for bad choices.
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Old 08-04-2008, 03:53 PM
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welcome to s.r. take the charges out. maybe he will hit his bottom. he will keep stealing & some one will take them out anyway. nothing changes if nothing changes. it will only get worse. prayers for u all,
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