laurie6781

Post this twice, and it is a long read, I will just do the link here, of some things that have gone on with me in recovery and in the hopes that it might help someone else:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-answers.html

Love and hugs,

BBD

Thank you laurie` It's a slow process but I am beginning to take that look at myself and strive for the changes I need to become whole again. As I told you~ if I don't my marriage may crumble right in front of my eyes. I do love my son so much but I do have to take care of my life at this point. Interesting post with lots to think about..Smiles, Bonnie

lightseeker

Amen sister. This is a profound and on the money posting. I have been sober for only two years and it is just now that the light bulb is beginning to come on for me. I have to work a strong AA and Alanon program....I definitely need both. I completely agree about the hands off the addict thing. NOTHING but nothing else works. It is the only thing that works. I know that it took a long time for me to truly understand what hands off means. The only thing that I would ever be willing to do for someone in active addiction would be to assist in getting them to rehab. Even then, I have major boundaries around that. The addiction to an addict is as bad as addiction to a substance....worse in my book because you are sober and the pain is excruciating. There are no ifs, ands, or buts with this but it sure did take me a long time to learn it. I wish that there was a quick fix for the "codie side" but there isn't. It took me a long time to understand that there were no magic words, no magic behavior, no magic switch that could be pulled to get someone into recovery. It is what it is - decide whether you can and will stand it or not but don't think that you can change it. Why did it take me so long to get that? Because it just did. No one could tell me anything - I had to play it all to the end. Luckily, I got desparate enough and in enough pain to commit to my recovery. Day in and day out - even when I was unable to notice a difference. I kept coming back because nothing could be as bad as it was before. My pain in dealing with addicts led me to drugs and alcohol. Not worth it!

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us!

Abundance

LS..... I wish I could give you the biggest hug!!!!!! Your words so often speak to me as if I were saying them myself.

Abundance

Laurie.... thanks for sharing! I absolutely LOVE recovery. It literally is saving my life!!!!!!!! I was lost without it..... and now I am feeling so fortunate!!!!

My guy and I were talking about how we could rear the boys on the 12 steps by changing out the addiction preface. Like applying to our family. Basically right now we are doing it by leading by example and being able to use the tools we have learned by talking with them not attacking them. IDK.... if that even made sense actually. ;/ But..... it's brilliant...... and it has found me right at the time I needed it the most. Actually.... I am probably open to it all now because...... I WAS READY!!!!!!!!

It's like a light switch has turned on!