Blogs


Notices

wanting thoughts

Old 07-29-2008, 02:52 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lees summit, MO
Posts: 7
wanting thoughts

At the risk of sounding stereotypic, I am new here! I met my boyfriend online 2/07 and he moved in May /07. After all this time he is still unsure of what he wants and is in therapy to figure it out. Just needing to vent a little as I am choosing to wait this one out as I feel we have what it takes . I am 9 years older(46) with a married son(22). He has never had children. This topic has been an issue. He is also pursuing a masters degree and writes/ sings music beautifully,as well as works full-time. He is coming to the place that he thinks his legacy can be his music and helping others with his songs of recovery rather than having a child at such a late age. From time to time I wonder if he stays because its easier than risking happiness for the unknown or if he is hoping and I quote "God will show him". I get that recovery is a one day at a time thing but does this mean marriage is out the question as it takes a plan? thanks for listening-looking forward to chatting with some of you...after all we share a unique situation

Last edited by sealover07; 07-29-2008 at 03:04 PM. Reason: need to add pertinent info
sealover07 is offline  
Old 07-29-2008, 03:06 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
God's Kid
 
lizw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,820
The first thing that springs to mind is, what do you want?
Do you want to get married and have another child etc...?
And what about other parts of your life? Work? Hobbies? Etc?
lizw is offline  
Old 07-29-2008, 03:06 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lees summit, MO
Posts: 7
fyi-he celebrated his 2 years sober in March 08. Sponsors several men and attends AA every weekday on his lunchbreak.
sealover07 is offline  
Old 07-29-2008, 03:13 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lees summit, MO
Posts: 7
We have discussed the issue of children and I have said I would if he ever decided he wanted them , which he doesn't now and he's not sure if he ever will . I think if he did, it wouldn't be with me. I am ready for the grandchild phase of life and all it entails. I have my own business (22 years now) and keep busy with my home and friends. We are both happy to spend our off-time at home . We love to travel and scuba when we get the chance...something having children would prohibit...
sealover07 is offline  
Old 07-29-2008, 03:47 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
austingemini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 102
I'm not sure I understand the question Are you happy with him? There's, sadly, little we can do about what others are thinking. Worry about that first. Are you happy in the relationship. Are you completely fulfilled? Not 'mostly' or 'sure', but completely happy with your life?
austingemini is offline  
Old 07-29-2008, 03:53 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lees summit, MO
Posts: 7
Thats an excellent question! I am happy with myself. Love my job, my son and his wife, love my dog , my house and my boyfriend. We have an amazing relationship full of expressions of love for each other and open communication until the subject of the future comes up. His "not knowing what he wants" keeps him from committing to me and I am ready to make a life with someone. Plan a future and go about making it happen.
sealover07 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:36 PM.