going home for ME
 

i read everyone's responses to my posting... my AH is on dialysis because his OD left him with kidney failure (OD'ing on meth does that)
but i really pondered a lot about our future and how is STILL in denial about himself... not to mention his parents blaming me (??) whihc is also a coping mechanism

i have decided to be selfish and leave for a 10-14 days and GIVE MYSELF A BREAK. his parents can think whatever they want... he is there regressing back in their cocoon at age 31. I am going to take the time to focus on what i want and really think about. best part... i'll be on a whole different continent and i think that will be good for him too.

i think having me "still here" (even though i meet him only once a day for a couple of hours) isn't really giving either one of us the space.

i can;t fix him or his family. but i can take control of my life and make a few selfish decisions for myself.

after days of being angry and depressed, i see a thin silver lining.
thank you to everyone here for their support. i love my husband, but i can't sink into denial with the rest of his family.

Hi malihas, Good for you. Go and enjoy your time to yourself and maybe things will work out on your hubbies end. Your doing the right thing taking care of yourself. Good luck and have some fun, Bonnie

Yes you can!! Good for you. There are a few/couple (?) of us who have recently taken trips as well. For me, it was a time to really get back to me so I could see what it was that I want/don't want. Still not sure what I want in the future, but I know for sure I do not want to live the roller coaster anymore.

Wishing you peaceful, serene time for yourself.

Sounds like a wise decision. I hope you find some serenity and insight as well as a chance to relax and enjoy different surroundings. Safe travels!