Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Fear

One day, I decided to try something new. I took my ten-year-old son out on the St. Croix River on a Waverunner. A Waverunner is a small boating vehicle resembling a motorcycle.

We donned life jackets and embarked on an experience that turned out to be both exhilarating and frightening; exhilarating when I let myself enjoy it; frightening when I thought too much about what I was doing and all the terrible things that could happen.

Midway though our ride, my worst fear came true. We took a spill. We were floundering in thirty feet of water. The Waverunner was bobbing on the waves in front of me, like a motorized turtle on it back.

"Don't panic," my son said calmly.

"What if we drown?" I objected.

"We can't," he said. "We have life jackets on. See! We're floating."

"The machine is upside down," I said. "How are we going to turn it over?"

"Just like the man said," my son answered. "The arrow points this way."

With an easy gesture, we turned the machine right side up. "What if we can't climb back on?" I asked.

"We can," my son replied. "That's what Waverunners were made for: climbing on in the water."

I relaxed and as we drove off, I wondered why I had become so frightened. I thought maybe it's because I don't trust my ability to solve problems. Maybe it's because once I almost drowned when I wasn't wearing a life jacket.

But you didn't drown then either; a small voice inside reassured me. You survived.

Don't panic.

Problems were made to be solved. Life was made to be lived. Although sometimes we may be in over our heads - yes, we may even go under for a few moments and gulp a few mouthfuls of water, we won't drown. We're wearing - and always have been wearing - a life jacket. That support jacket is called "God."

Today, I will remember to take care of myself. When I get in over my head, God is there supporting me - even when my fears try to make me forget.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

For me, the antidote to fear was faith, even blind faith when I could not see where I was going.

Hugs

Jody Hepler

Thanks so much Ann - how many times was I paralyzed by fear, during really scary stuff with my ASs in the using days (like when the drug dealer kept calling and saying he was going to torch our house for their bad debts) - and all I could do was step out in faith - putting one foot in front of another - leaning on program friends - doing the next right thing.

Today I use those skills in daily living stuff. If I could survive during those really tough times, this office politics is nothing.

Helps me keep things in perspective.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

itisatruth

Fear has been a big issue for me and I am doing my best to let go of it with decent progress. I have discovered that fear (and avoidance) of change has been a big factor in staying in relationships past the time I wanted to be in them.

Today at the gym I ran across an article about fear of change. It really hit the spot for me and I am keeping this analogy:

"Life is like a long river, and we're all in a boat floating downstream," she says. "We can cling to a rock and refuse to keep going. We can furiously row upstream, trying to get back to someplace we can never reach—or we can let go of the oars and realize that we are being carried toward everything we want." Think of it this way: Does not accepting a change make it go away? Does fighting the current help? Once you let go of the oars, your life will get back on track. (And usually ............. you end up wondering why you clung to the rock for so long.)

(From 30 Days to a Happier Life by Charlotte Latvala, Redbook May 2008)