Time for another parent check-in
 

I think it is time for another parent check-in. It has been a while and I have not seen some of our parents for a while. My daughter will have 60 days clean on Friday. She is still in the halfway house, comes home on weekends and seems to be working her program. I am nervous about her coming home but I will just take it as it comes. Hugs, Marle

Oh Marle I am so happy your daughter has made 60 days clean. I will keep her in my prayers that her recovery lasts & lasts one day at a time.
My son is bk in jail. From what I hear he may have to stay another 17mts until his sentence maxes out. They did give him a chance. They ok'd his parole for Sept 10th & sent him to wk release on June 27th. He had a fight with a co-wker after only 4 days on the job & was charged with Misconduct. That mandated him being sent bk to jail & it revoked his parole.

Marle, such good news, and rozied, one of these days he'll be good, but for now at least he's clean.
My son is clean and sober 6 months this month, I am so at peace now, I still have a worry or two expecially if he misses a meeting, but Life Is Good.

As far as I know, my daughter is 60+ days clean but not sober so who knows what's next? I'm hands off and doing fine :)

Thanks, Marle, for the opportunity to participate :)
My son is still on suboxone for oxy addiction and wants to stay on it long term (?). He also has had some beers lately after being sober and clean from drugs for 3 months, and I'm kind of watching for a relapse, but it is his program, right? Like Rita says, "I have a no-no and will use it."

Sounds like your all pretty lucky. Sober and clean kids. I'm worried about my son but thanks to all of you~~~I know what I have to do. Thanks~~and I'm guessing "No news is good news". Bonnie

Have not heard from Ad for a month. Do not know if she is still using or where she is. She has not called about her children. But I do not have time to worry myself sick about her like I use to , to busy raising her two children.

Your a great Gramma Painter. Those kids are lucky to have you. I have grandkids also and I BET you are busy..Good luck and smiles, Bonnie

It's great to hear the good news here, and even news like Rozied's with her son in jail is good in its own way, he's safer there than most places he might be.

I haven't heard from my son in 4 years now, but each day I still give him to God to take care of and then live a good life knowing he's in good hands. Funny thing, this is the second week I have been in Toronto for a course (through work) and my lovely hotel room looks over one of the busiest streets in this city. I have watched the action, panhandlers, young kids making quick deals and a few hookers who are somebody's daughter/sister/loved one...and rather than upsetting me, it made me grateful to no longer live in that world. I pray that one day my son can return to mine, but I just cannot walk into hell anymore to try to save that which is not mine to save.

So, all in all, I am doing well. I love my life today, even with its element of pain, and although I wouldn't wish my life on anyone...I wouldn't trade a day of it either because I wouldn't be in the good place of light I am in today without having walked through the darkness first.

God bless the moms, and God bless the child.

Love you all :ghug

All in all things are well. RAD has more than 14 months clean. I am just so very sad about the breakup of her & her RAF. I didn't sleep last night, I couldn't turn off my mind. (some due to lovely hormones) She started moving her stuff back here today. I want to talk to her fiance to let him know he is still welcome at our house & we still love & care about him. But I figure being hormonal & sleep deprived isn't the time to do it. RAD is doing very well. She is actually at a meeting right now. Just so sad right now. I know her HP has a different plan, but dang it is hard when you get attached to these kids.

hi everyone!
I cherish these check-ins so Thanks Marle.

Glad to see so many recovery-in-progress stories. It gives such hope and faith to so many.
Many of you who know my story know I was having a hysterectomy July 10 and my son wanted to come down and stay and help. ( I felt there is a second motive). And I was struggling with the decision.
Well my hysterectomy was hard. Having a tough recovery for the first two weeks but can now see the light of recovery!.

But my AS did come down and has been a blessing. He has been taking good care of me. Never letting me do anything and taking care of the household. I'm not totally surprised as he has a very sweet nature when sober and can do anything for a short time. His other motive was to attend a Drug and Alcohol screening down here as a term of his Oregon Probation and then follow up on any recommendations. I am playing it day by day and he knows it. I have been up front that I will not take any behavior that causes me any stress right now. ( I shouldn't at anytime but especially now!).
He has been free from coke and Heroin for over a year but still smokes pot and drinks occasionally. He does neither of those while here. ( Like I said he can do anything for a short time.)
He tributes his recovery from cocaine and Heroin to his new found beliefs in his God. He believes his body is a temple and those drugs kill his temple so he doesn't feel the need to do them anymore. He is all about eating a healthy vegetarian diet. And shakes his head at my food choices but wisely keeps quiet. He still feels the need to smoke pot because it's a part of his religion. ( Rastafarian). Its not all bad and I am learning to accept this as a part of who he is right now. Although not the pot part. I still think he is addicted to it and using the religious aspect as a rationale. He is constantly reading and researching this. He checks out books constantly from the library. His beliefs are one of the reasons he needed to come down and take care of me, but I keep hoping his searches will lead him spiritually away from pot!
He is very spiritually at peace I must say, even if it is a little wacky to me(!) Jeez! Sigh.

If he follows his usual pattern, he'll get antsy soon so not so sure about his beginning, let alone finishing, that part of his probation down here. Although he went through all the trouble of getting permission from Oregon courts.

But...
One day at a time here. Today he is being a blessing to me as I didn't realize how tough this recovery would be. So Today I am enjoying his peaceful, enlightened, loving, self.
Just for Today! right?!
( He does make yummy soups and sandwiches even if they don't have meat!)

:e058:
Cathy

Update, My RAD came home from her meeting & got a txt that one of her friends who has 18 months clean has been trying to get ahold of a dealer. My daughter is so tired after moving alot of her stuff here (the most she has done since her appendix was out a couple weeks ago) But she went to help. She grabed her work clothes for the morning & said she had to be there for Sarah, it's all parralell, & left. I'm proud she will be there.

peaceteach, you reminded me that my daughter was also on subs for three months, so she's not been actively using for over five months. Each day away from active addiction counts :)

Still not sure if my daughter is an RAD or an AD. But she does at least for the moment have a job.Hasn't stole anything from us since getting out of jail. She also pays back any money she borrows. But on the other hand she is with a guy that she says is still using.
So I'm taking things one day at time.
On a happy note the baby is doing great an her big brother adores her.

It was time for a parent check-in, thanks for getting to it Marle.

I just returned from 3 fabulous weeks visiting my husband's family in Europe. I hooked up with a SR member while there. We are 60% into a home remodel, just coming into the exciting phase of of installing the selected materials.
I have two stepsons: the youngest one recently graduated college and the other one just got a college teaching position.

My son has completed the first 5 months at a year-long rehab. program. We'll return there for the second family week at the beginning of September. Today he is committed to staying for the duration. His weekly phone calls are a pleasure. I know he is struggling, but I admire his determination and endurance. Today he is recovering and appreciates the opportunity. Today I live without worry.

marle, thanks for the update. i am proud of your daughter & hope this is her time. everyday clean is a blessing. things here are the same. my a.s. is still in jail & still waiting trial in 3 counties. i will just be glad when this nightmare is over & we find out exactly how much time he will get. he seems to be accepting the blame for what he has done. other times it was always about blaming someone else. i say my prayers every morning & turn him over to my H.P. most days are good for me. i "accept the things i can not change." prayers for all of us.

Hi Marle,
I haven't been around for a while. In between work I've been spending a lot of time at my summer place. No computer there, I've been staying away for a while because I just needed a break from anything to do with addiction.

As far as my daughter.....for now all is good. She hasn't used street drugs in almost a year. She had a fall at work a few months ago and fractured her tailbone. She was on vicodin for pain and had trouble getting off of them. She is now on a low dose of methodone and doing really well. I was not happy about it, but she is in charge of her own recovery. She is still working two jobs. Bought herself a car, pays her bills. Met a really nice guy. (no addicitons). She has shared her past with him and he seems to care for her in spite of that. She is a different person and I can see why he cares for her. I am really proud of her.

Her and I still struggle with the sexual abuse that she endured. She is still in therapy. I haven't been going but I know I need to get back into it.

I am so happy to hear that Megan is doing so well......that is a blessing.

Thanks Marle,
I'm glad to hear so much good news, and for the ones who are still dealing with and active addict, I'm sorry. Everyone seems to have a great recovery going.
As for me, it is 3 years this week that I had my RAS and his exagf move out.
I haven't heard from either, miss my son like h**l. I also turn him over to my HP/God everyday. I know he will be kept as safe as he can.
I am working on me, and feel very strong and happy. I can't believe I'm writing I'm happy now. Been to long.
I keep all of you in my prayers everyday. Love you all and thank you for all your support.

Thanks Marle
My 27 yr old AS stays w/old neighbors or friend of exgf - not too many friends left that will let him crash at their houses. Claims he works PT at a gas station, but seems to have too much money sometimes - scared that he might be dealing, I think that's what the friend of exgf does.
I spend some time here each day and go to one Naranon meeting and one Alanon meeting each week. Trying to work on myself - sometimes it's only 1/2 a step forward with 10 steps back (!) but I'm trying. The sharing here really helps me - a lady at my Naranon meeting paid for a copy of the Experience, Strength & Hope Naranon daily reading book & gave it to me. You people are all GREAT and the best FAMILY I could ever ask for.
Joan

Hi everyone!

Glad to hear we are all still around, a few missing but hopefully they'll check in soon.

I am doing OK. RAD is doing ok, attending IOP (finishes week 5 next week) then a step down program. The baby is due around end of Aug/Sept (depending on dates vs sonogram). After birth and recovery, she will attend parent/child development classes for 10 weeks. Prayerfully she will continue on the right path.

She is excited about the baby, and actually acts normal! She attends meetings and for the first in a long, long times looks to the future w/ normal hopes and wants. I know it is not over and will be hard, but for now she is trying.

My son doesn't talk bad to her, he even talked nice to her a few times. He will make a sarcastic comment to me, but at least treats her w/ respect. My granddaughter, sons child, is so happy she is about to pop. Kasey being back was great but the idea of her "little brother" (told her cousin, she won't have it) is almost more than she can handle. Kasey is grouchy, tired and at times short w/ her, but in the big picture this is normal and will pass.

I was able to get FMLA from work in order to get her to class in the mornings without being marked tardy at work so that makes it alot easier. She asked if I would be able to stay a few days at home after the birth "because I don't want to be here alone and do something wrong". I was thankful she asked ( I had already requested vacation time!!) as it made me feel good. She said she wants to be a mother like I am. THat made my day that for even that moment, she said said it and was sincere~!

Went back to court on Monday re: protection order. It is done for two years! He (drug dealer/BG??) has two felonies coming to court this month and this is striker 3 & 4. I hope to never see him again. I pray for him as noone deserves that life, but .......

Love and peace to you all. Think of you all and read/check in alot just haven't had time to sit and write. THanks for the PM's and prayers!!

susan

Late as usual.....
RAD and her Rbf now have over 13 months clean time. They are living by her college, sort of, he's away at work for 4 or 5 days a week. She's working and planning out her last year at school. Took an apt that doesn't allow pets and after being here at the zoo (4 cats 1 dog) found that hard to take, so now she's got fish to take care of.
They both seem happy and come here about once a month to visit.
Right now they're planning on getting married in the fall but not doing anything to prepare, so who knows if that will happen.
I'm happy for them but sort of lonely, now for the first time in 2 years I've got the empty nest syndrome. Bah!!
All of you are in my prayers daily and I do come and lurk and see how everyone's doing.

So glad to see so many responses....
congrats to all who are holding onto recovery and an extra prayer for those who are struggling

my RAS is doing well....he has been living in a recovery program for 2 years and is now a senior member ....he feels a strong responsibility towards newcomers....he is working and taking good care of himself

he seems to have the substance abuse under control (for today) but is still dealing with the mental issues that led to the self medicating in the first place

over the years he was put on many different meds....the right decision at the time (deal with the immediate threat and worry about the consequences "later") but now its "later" and these meds are toxic and difficult to come off of....requires much adjusting and tapering

fortunately he is working with a wonderful doctor and hopefully they will find the smallest dose possible to maintain stability....

please keep us in your prayers
you are all in mine....

Hey gang,

My AS has spiraled back down into his addiction and is in danger of having his probation revoked because he stopped treatment. I kicked him out of my house and he is now living with his dad. I have been trying to stay focused on me, but not always succeeding. I have 3 weeks of summer vacation left and trying to focus on having a good time with my bf. I enjoyed reading the mom posts so much! The success stories fill me with hope, the sad stories fill me with prayer. You all are awesome!
krhea

Krhea... ((hugs)) Good to hear from you, sad for the reason. Sending prayers for peace.

My daughter has 44 days today. Every day is a blessing. She is back in outpatient treatment, after voluntarily leaving an inpatient treatment. My progress is that I let go of that one, and figured God has a better plan for all of us. :)

My son is living with us, and boy does he have ATTITUDE. He is working 14 hour days, so he has little time to smoke and party... though he manages as often as possible. He just has some DANG big resentments. A little program would help him SO much... but after 18 months in an Oxford House, he never wants to do AA again. Too bad. But his life, not mine. He is welcome to stay here, unless he becomes disruptive. So ... we will see.


Me? Busy as a one-handed paper hanger!!! OMG.... I am taking (and behind in) a Psych class online, a "Drawing from Life" drawing class (LIVE NUDES!!! So much better than the dead ones, don't you think?), and just finished up a stained glass class... so fun!! I start a class building a glass pyramid box (with sand, glitter and little shells and charms) in a week. And I have to figure out how to finish my stooopid Algebra class from last quarter (ok, maybe it isn't the algebra that is stupid!).

I am looking for work, but just got an extension on my unemployment benefits, so ... so far, so good!

I go to 2 meetings a week, help baby sit two boys still in diapers (2 years old and 8 months old) and Mr. Big put in a garden this year.... so I have started some canning and jam making.


Busy? :) Keeps me out of trouble, THAT'S for sure!


Don't get in here as often as I feel I should, but try to touch base as often as I can.

((Hugs))

Hello,

Thanks for the invite to check-in.

This Summer has been very busy and working has really put a damper on my computer time.

I do check in often to read all of your posts, but sometimes I am afraid to put my life in "print" for fear it will change for the worse.

:rof:e052:

My RAD has been sober for approx 7 months. She is out of the halfway house and three quarter house now. She has recently rented a house with a few other girls that she met in recovery that are also working on their recovery. My sister actually bought the house for her and the other girls to rent ~ they were very lucky that she was looking for a house to purchase as an investment. Her HP was definitely looking out for her and the other girls.



She goes to meetings everyday ... she is still on probation and her lawyer thought that it would help her when she gets in front of the judge, because she has a court date next week. Hopefully, she will not have any jail time imposed on her because of the 2nd DUI.

As for my AS - no contact with him since he stopped by to pick up his stimulus check. He has yet to hit his bottom. There is a warrant out for his arrest due to missed court dates. The police did come to my house last week looking for him. The cop probably thought that I was one mean little mom - when I said that I had no idea where my son was living. I really don't ...because I have gotten out of his HP's way...

Thanks for encouraging this parent to check-in.

Hugs,

My daughter is in her first rehab for coke she is 38. She sounds good, they have broken down some walls and seem hopeful for her. She will be coming home on the 28th and I am excited, nervous, just scared sort of. I have been posting here since she left and learning a lot from all of you.
I feel like I have a lot of support here if and when I need it. Thats a god-send by itself. I go to Naranon meetings which is also helping me cope. Funny, I almost want to get off og here so she could come here because I think she would like it here also. But I think I am to selfish for once.
Happy for the recovery stories here it makes you feel happy inside and for some who have relapsed ((hugs to the parents)) prayers for the kids. OH heck (((hugs for everyone))) Prayers for all of you.

Thanks Marle for starting a check in...I am happy to hear from some of those who are busy living life on life's terms and don't have too much time here. Everyone, whether their kids are in recovery or still struggling sounds terrific in their recoveries! Thanks so much for all the ESH you share here.

The first half of July is a difficult time since it brings back memories of losing my youngest daughter. But this year, although the days leading up to the second anniversary seemed somehow harder (I think because the grief felt so in my face and time had lessen that feeling) on the actual day I was able to celebrate her life moreso than mourn her death which felt good. I am so grateful for the time I had with her and she will always live on.

My oldest daughter is doing terrific - so strong in her recovery and wise beyond her years. She is a little too overprotective of mom though, lol...always checking on me; very aware if I get too quiet...But it is very sweet and so nice to see her focus shifting from the all about me addict view to helping the newcomers in her group and reaching out to others. She is doing great on her job and still pushing on finishing her degree. It helps that once she is done she'll automatically qualify for a salary adjustment of probably about $5,000. She will be with her current RABF a year in August...they speak of marriage but she has learned so much - not jumping into moving in together until they are ready and not so filled with school and work (they are both finishing up college) making sure debts are repaid and money is saved (A savings account - isn't that awesome?!!) and making sure that their lives don't totally revolve around each other. It's the healthiest relationship I have seen her in - Program sure does help in all aspects of life. We all spent a long weekend together last week attending my nephew's wedding down south. Lots of good clean, sober fun and laughter. Her BF fits right in...if you can dish out and take teasing, my side of the family loves you, lol.

I love summer and I am savoring every moment...Spending as much time as possible outdoor activities - hiking, swimming, kayaking on any open weekends, and lots of lunch time walks with my higher power. I love how recovery has helped me rediscover the joy of simple things.

Hugs and prayers to you and your loved ones :ghug