Time for another parent check-in

Old 07-24-2008, 04:06 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
blue pansy's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: At the zoo
Posts: 244
Late as usual.....
RAD and her Rbf now have over 13 months clean time. They are living by her college, sort of, he's away at work for 4 or 5 days a week. She's working and planning out her last year at school. Took an apt that doesn't allow pets and after being here at the zoo (4 cats 1 dog) found that hard to take, so now she's got fish to take care of.
They both seem happy and come here about once a month to visit.
Right now they're planning on getting married in the fall but not doing anything to prepare, so who knows if that will happen.
I'm happy for them but sort of lonely, now for the first time in 2 years I've got the empty nest syndrome. Bah!!
All of you are in my prayers daily and I do come and lurk and see how everyone's doing.
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Old 07-24-2008, 04:37 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
So glad to see so many responses....
congrats to all who are holding onto recovery and an extra prayer for those who are struggling

my RAS is doing well....he has been living in a recovery program for 2 years and is now a senior member ....he feels a strong responsibility towards newcomers....he is working and taking good care of himself

he seems to have the substance abuse under control (for today) but is still dealing with the mental issues that led to the self medicating in the first place

over the years he was put on many different meds....the right decision at the time (deal with the immediate threat and worry about the consequences "later") but now its "later" and these meds are toxic and difficult to come off of....requires much adjusting and tapering

fortunately he is working with a wonderful doctor and hopefully they will find the smallest dose possible to maintain stability....

please keep us in your prayers
you are all in mine....
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Old 07-24-2008, 10:47 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Posts: 644
Hey gang,

My AS has spiraled back down into his addiction and is in danger of having his probation revoked because he stopped treatment. I kicked him out of my house and he is now living with his dad. I have been trying to stay focused on me, but not always succeeding. I have 3 weeks of summer vacation left and trying to focus on having a good time with my bf. I enjoyed reading the mom posts so much! The success stories fill me with hope, the sad stories fill me with prayer. You all are awesome!
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:12 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
On a tear
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Krhea... ((hugs)) Good to hear from you, sad for the reason. Sending prayers for peace.
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:18 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
On a tear
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
My daughter has 44 days today. Every day is a blessing. She is back in outpatient treatment, after voluntarily leaving an inpatient treatment. My progress is that I let go of that one, and figured God has a better plan for all of us.

My son is living with us, and boy does he have ATTITUDE. He is working 14 hour days, so he has little time to smoke and party... though he manages as often as possible. He just has some DANG big resentments. A little program would help him SO much... but after 18 months in an Oxford House, he never wants to do AA again. Too bad. But his life, not mine. He is welcome to stay here, unless he becomes disruptive. So ... we will see.

Me? Busy as a one-handed paper hanger!!! OMG.... I am taking (and behind in) a Psych class online, a "Drawing from Life" drawing class (LIVE NUDES!!! So much better than the dead ones, don't you think?), and just finished up a stained glass class... so fun!! I start a class building a glass pyramid box (with sand, glitter and little shells and charms) in a week. And I have to figure out how to finish my stooopid Algebra class from last quarter (ok, maybe it isn't the algebra that is stupid!).

I am looking for work, but just got an extension on my unemployment benefits, so ... so far, so good!

I go to 2 meetings a week, help baby sit two boys still in diapers (2 years old and 8 months old) and Mr. Big put in a garden this year.... so I have started some canning and jam making.

Busy? Keeps me out of trouble, THAT'S for sure!

Don't get in here as often as I feel I should, but try to touch base as often as I can.

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Old 07-25-2008, 03:41 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 388

Thanks for the invite to check-in.

This Summer has been very busy and working has really put a damper on my computer time.

I do check in often to read all of your posts, but sometimes I am afraid to put my life in "print" for fear it will change for the worse.


My RAD has been sober for approx 7 months. She is out of the halfway house and three quarter house now. She has recently rented a house with a few other girls that she met in recovery that are also working on their recovery. My sister actually bought the house for her and the other girls to rent ~ they were very lucky that she was looking for a house to purchase as an investment. Her HP was definitely looking out for her and the other girls.

She goes to meetings everyday ... she is still on probation and her lawyer thought that it would help her when she gets in front of the judge, because she has a court date next week. Hopefully, she will not have any jail time imposed on her because of the 2nd DUI.

As for my AS - no contact with him since he stopped by to pick up his stimulus check. He has yet to hit his bottom. There is a warrant out for his arrest due to missed court dates. The police did come to my house last week looking for him. The cop probably thought that I was one mean little mom - when I said that I had no idea where my son was living. I really don't ...because I have gotten out of his HP's way...

Thanks for encouraging this parent to check-in.

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Old 07-25-2008, 06:39 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 427
My daughter is in her first rehab for coke she is 38. She sounds good, they have broken down some walls and seem hopeful for her. She will be coming home on the 28th and I am excited, nervous, just scared sort of. I have been posting here since she left and learning a lot from all of you.
I feel like I have a lot of support here if and when I need it. Thats a god-send by itself. I go to Naranon meetings which is also helping me cope. Funny, I almost want to get off og here so she could come here because I think she would like it here also. But I think I am to selfish for once.
Happy for the recovery stories here it makes you feel happy inside and for some who have relapsed ((hugs to the parents)) prayers for the kids. OH heck (((hugs for everyone))) Prayers for all of you.
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:46 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Thanks Marle for starting a check in...I am happy to hear from some of those who are busy living life on life's terms and don't have too much time here. Everyone, whether their kids are in recovery or still struggling sounds terrific in their recoveries! Thanks so much for all the ESH you share here.

The first half of July is a difficult time since it brings back memories of losing my youngest daughter. But this year, although the days leading up to the second anniversary seemed somehow harder (I think because the grief felt so in my face and time had lessen that feeling) on the actual day I was able to celebrate her life moreso than mourn her death which felt good. I am so grateful for the time I had with her and she will always live on.

My oldest daughter is doing terrific - so strong in her recovery and wise beyond her years. She is a little too overprotective of mom though, lol...always checking on me; very aware if I get too quiet...But it is very sweet and so nice to see her focus shifting from the all about me addict view to helping the newcomers in her group and reaching out to others. She is doing great on her job and still pushing on finishing her degree. It helps that once she is done she'll automatically qualify for a salary adjustment of probably about $5,000. She will be with her current RABF a year in August...they speak of marriage but she has learned so much - not jumping into moving in together until they are ready and not so filled with school and work (they are both finishing up college) making sure debts are repaid and money is saved (A savings account - isn't that awesome?!!) and making sure that their lives don't totally revolve around each other. It's the healthiest relationship I have seen her in - Program sure does help in all aspects of life. We all spent a long weekend together last week attending my nephew's wedding down south. Lots of good clean, sober fun and laughter. Her BF fits right in...if you can dish out and take teasing, my side of the family loves you, lol.

I love summer and I am savoring every moment...Spending as much time as possible outdoor activities - hiking, swimming, kayaking on any open weekends, and lots of lunch time walks with my higher power. I love how recovery has helped me rediscover the joy of simple things.

Hugs and prayers to you and your loved ones :ghug
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