taintedlove

At this phase of my life, where i should enjoy being a fresh graduate and pampering myself with a nice tan, i find myself scared, lonely and neglected.
i have been waitng for my ABF to come back from rehab for the past 6 months.. what hurts is to have all those doubts about weither i should wait for him and hope things get better or walking away trying to catch up for the last three and a half years i have been supporting him and all of those conflicts are along with the fact that i dont know how he's been and if he's ready to move on with or without me. i will terribly collapse if i had to break up with him because despite all the awful memories of hi saddiction i can still recall all the good times we'v spent together madly in love....
i havent asked his family members about him because they always rejected the fact of us being together and that is something i honesly question because i have been an ideal girlfrend that supported their son through his worst days and gave him the amount of comfort and tenderness they held back from him since his childhood...i sent his sister a message a couple of days ago askin' her how he's been and when would he get out but she never relied as i expected of her...
i dont understand why she's pushing me out of his life that much and i wonder if it relates to the fact that we come from different religions ?!! that would be really weird but explains a lot...
im afraid she would keep him from seeing me and im afraid she will make him think i walked out on him..
i dunno where i stand and i have no strength to carry on by myself
faith

BayAreaPhoenix

(((tainted)))

You're right, you should be focusing on YOU! pampering yourself, etc... Why aren't you doing that?

I know it's not that easy when you love an addict, but it's what you have to do. Take care of you. What his family is going to say or not say to him about you or anything else, they will do regardless if you worry about it. None of his recovery is in your control, the only thing you can do is take care of you. Remember - you didn't Cause it, you can't Control it, and you can't Cure it!

Have you read the stickies at the top? Are there any face to face meetings you could go to?

Try to do something for YOU today! He's taking care of him, his family's focused on him, who is focused on YOU?

You sound young, and you have the world in front of you. You deserve a fulfilling and healthy life!

BrokenWife

Codeine is right. You need to take care of you.. The past 6 months was the time for you to focus on you and only you. You should use this time to think about what life would be with out the addict in your life. I know it is hard but I feel that when they leave and go to rehab it forces you to focus on your life without them. I could only wish that my AH would go to a rehab and leave me here to think about me and not him for 6 months.

Jody Hepler

I used the time my addicts were in treatment to focus on myself - to go to face to face meetings, to learn about my "part" in the addiction mess, how I enabled, and to get an education about addiction - what it looked like, how they acted, the reality of recovery.

To spend time with my friends and family, to pick up a hobby, to live without the daily drama and chaos.

I had to learn that I would be ok whether or not the addict in my life ever got sober.

Can you just write/call the addict directly? And not deal with the family?

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler