pray for courage

Old 07-21-2008, 12:21 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ontario
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pray for courage

I have been with an alcoholic for 5 years..I am diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder.When there is abuse or me not retaliating out of fear of abuse My mental health issues are brought up .....psycho your the crazy one etc .I"m worn out and was worried about his depression I took him to the hospital and they admitted him when he was crying I told his family who weren't supportive in the past. I feel awful when they tell me I should take the keys off him because of what if he kills someone I know and I replied I would have to run the other way ....I called a woman's crisis hot line and they said its not my responsibility i was hysterical . They told me not to communicate with them I told my AB and he said its because I phoned them and alarmed them I felt I should finally let them know I wish I had just kept my mouth shut Today hes being really nice to me I am confused
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Old 07-21-2008, 10:47 PM
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Hi Angel...I'm going to move this to a new thread for you so you can get some support. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It isn't you...those in active addiction will say or do anything to protect their drinking/drugging. Hugs
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Old 07-22-2008, 07:03 AM
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This may be the perfect time to step back, and out of the chaos. We all react differently in crisis.
This isn't about yours or his parents words and actions, its about the alcoholic's actions.
As long as there's something to distract the attention from him, all is well in his world.
I'd play close attention to the crisis center. They know what they are doing.
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Old 07-22-2008, 07:21 AM
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(( angel ))

There is so much great information here on the forums. When you have time, I suggest that you cruise around and read the "stickies" up at the top. One of my most favorites is written by a man named Jon. It's incredibly powerful and it helped me a lot...

"My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior.

You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fulfilling them.

You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered a sociopath. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decision, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do
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