Let's talk about FEAR
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Let's talk about FEAR
Let's talk about FEAR. And I don't mean just any old kind of fear. I am talking about that kind of fear that sucks the breath out of me... the kind that makes my brain sort of "buzzzz" and all intelligent thoughts leave my head. I have a relationship thing going on right now, and I have found myself in that fearful place more than once.
I have more than a few years of recovery under my belt. I have recovery friends, I know the readings to turn to, I know to do some journaling etc.
That doesn't mean I don't get blindsided by FEAR sometimes. In those moments, it gets really big and hairy and scary and I can't seem to grab onto any of those thoughts that are whooshing thru my brain.
Let's talk about our fears. What do you do when it happens? How do you get yourself centered again? Do you make decisions from a place of fear or do you allow yourself to feel the feelings and THEN take action?
~Cats
I have more than a few years of recovery under my belt. I have recovery friends, I know the readings to turn to, I know to do some journaling etc.
That doesn't mean I don't get blindsided by FEAR sometimes. In those moments, it gets really big and hairy and scary and I can't seem to grab onto any of those thoughts that are whooshing thru my brain.
Let's talk about our fears. What do you do when it happens? How do you get yourself centered again? Do you make decisions from a place of fear or do you allow yourself to feel the feelings and THEN take action?
~Cats
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
This is from Courage To Change - March 10
Part of my recovery has involved reversing some old ways of thinking. It had been my habit to avoid painful feelings and situations, to play it safe and keep away from risk. But life involves one risk after another, and some pain is unavoidable. Al Anon helps me to accept what is.
Instead of running away, I am learning to look at the source of my distress. As a result, I find that pain passes much more quickly, and what I gain is freedom from fear. Al Anon gives me tools, such as the Fourth Step inventory, with which I can take an honest look at myself and my situation. A supportive sponsor, my Higher Power, the Serenity Prayer, and many Al Anon meetings help me to find the courage to deal with fear, pain, and risk.
When I was avoiding taking risks, fear was always with me, just over my shoulder. Now I go through it and come out the other side, often unscathed. I no longer have to keep a constant watch for potential dangers. Instead, I can occupy myself with living.
Today’s Reminder:
Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life.
“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller
Part of my recovery has involved reversing some old ways of thinking. It had been my habit to avoid painful feelings and situations, to play it safe and keep away from risk. But life involves one risk after another, and some pain is unavoidable. Al Anon helps me to accept what is.
Instead of running away, I am learning to look at the source of my distress. As a result, I find that pain passes much more quickly, and what I gain is freedom from fear. Al Anon gives me tools, such as the Fourth Step inventory, with which I can take an honest look at myself and my situation. A supportive sponsor, my Higher Power, the Serenity Prayer, and many Al Anon meetings help me to find the courage to deal with fear, pain, and risk.
When I was avoiding taking risks, fear was always with me, just over my shoulder. Now I go through it and come out the other side, often unscathed. I no longer have to keep a constant watch for potential dangers. Instead, I can occupy myself with living.
Today’s Reminder:
Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life.
“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
This is a good topic, Cats...
Especially for me right now, so, I'm glad you brought it up.
I know I have to determine the source of my fear.
What I mean is this. I have an anxiety problem. So, I have to determine if the fear is based in a reality, or in an exaggeration of a reality. (None of it is baseless, but, exaggerated).
I count on my recovery friends. I've asked for spiritual advice from my Rabbi. I speak to a counselor when appropriate. I meditate and use progressive relaxation to help me come down from my fears so that I can view them more realisitically. "Shoveling smoke," as a friend once told me, is exhausting. And worrying about things that I can't control, or that are exaggerations of realities, is shoveling smoke.
I look forward to hearing more from others.
And thanks for starting this great thread!
Shalom!
Especially for me right now, so, I'm glad you brought it up.
I know I have to determine the source of my fear.
What I mean is this. I have an anxiety problem. So, I have to determine if the fear is based in a reality, or in an exaggeration of a reality. (None of it is baseless, but, exaggerated).
I count on my recovery friends. I've asked for spiritual advice from my Rabbi. I speak to a counselor when appropriate. I meditate and use progressive relaxation to help me come down from my fears so that I can view them more realisitically. "Shoveling smoke," as a friend once told me, is exhausting. And worrying about things that I can't control, or that are exaggerations of realities, is shoveling smoke.
I look forward to hearing more from others.
And thanks for starting this great thread!
Shalom!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Fear creeps up on me now and then too. Not often anymore, but some days it just sneaks up on me and pounces like a 200 pound wet St. Bernard and knocks the breath right out of me.
When that happens, I pray a lot and shrink old Mr. Fear down to size,like throwing water on the wicked witch in Wizard of Oz.
I'm sorry Fear grabbed on to you Cats, but I think you know the drill well enough to give it a good shake.
If not, I'm right behind you with the skillet and I'll give it a good whack.
When that happens, I pray a lot and shrink old Mr. Fear down to size,like throwing water on the wicked witch in Wizard of Oz.
I'm sorry Fear grabbed on to you Cats, but I think you know the drill well enough to give it a good shake.
If not, I'm right behind you with the skillet and I'll give it a good whack.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
I have been living in fear for the last few days myself. My addicted son has moved away and we haven't seen or talked to him lately. I know what town he's in but not where....now for me, thats scarry!! I'm trying to give him some space that he wants but to me this isn't normal. Normal families converse, they know what each others up to~~~~I may be wrong with this and I probably am....my fear is self-inflicted and I handle it by coming here, talking to my councilor and trying to talk myself into "It's time I let go".........Anxiety is so hard to handle for me but I'm trying.. Smiles, Bonnie
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 718
I try to play counselor for myself.... she always asks me, "why?" What are you afraid of?" Be specific... what does it look like? What are you afraid will happen, then what?" Since she can't always live on my shoulder (Man, do I wish she could sometimes!!!)... I try to breathe and ask myself these questions. I step back for a minute and focus, rather than react. That takes hard work and lots of self talk, but I have learned to ask the right questions and center myself. All the best to you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
I try to remember other times when I was gripped by fear, of both real events and/or the 'awfulizing' kind where I anticipate what might happen. The truth is that many times things did turn out fine- even when the odds were against it.
On the other hand sometimes bad things do happen and I need to remember to just keep that in it's proper perspective. For me that means that I try not to let the fear to interfere (....interesting homonym? ) with my plans or otherwise have a negative effect on me.
And sometimes I just allow myself to be afraid for a bit, have a good cry and be done with it.
On the other hand sometimes bad things do happen and I need to remember to just keep that in it's proper perspective. For me that means that I try not to let the fear to interfere (....interesting homonym? ) with my plans or otherwise have a negative effect on me.
And sometimes I just allow myself to be afraid for a bit, have a good cry and be done with it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
