Hi Guys
 

Haven't posted in a while. Ive been lost in the middle ground of addiction where he's probably not or probably is using but the behavior is just the same. He finally did what mom and i feared. He and 16 year old agf are pregnant. She turns 17 this month and courts will decide on custody of her. I let him move back in with me when I heard this news two months ago so he could save money for his new baby and wife or babys momma or whatever. He's since had his hours cut back at work and has no money saved what so ever. So here we are right back were we always seem to be screwed. I feel like Rozied after reading her post when she said hes 42 mines 21 and I truly can't imagine her greif. Cindy and I feel like well eventually end up with this child, her mother and dad are both addicts. So unless this child turns their life around and they become working responsible adults, what do you do about the children of children addicts? Its not their fault. Seems hopeless doesnt it? Its one reason I havent posted I already know the answer. Anyway glad to give you guys an update and I hope everyone's recovery is going better than mine.

hi lake, thanks for the update. i'm glad to hear from you too. don't have any answers for you but i will say try to take one day at a time concerning the baby and pray that this will cause them to have a desire to turn their life around. you are right, its not the child's fault and i'm praying that all will work out for the best. sorry that you have to add this onto all else, but i still want to say congrats on being grands. still praying for all of you.

Oh Laketime the grief is beyond belief. All I can say though is I am so disgusted with his behaviour I am just about past caring.
We would have cut him loose yrs ago, in fact we did but my parents who are now 88 kept enabling him. Don't enable your son if there is anything to learn from what I'm going through. The more my parents helped him the worse it got.
He broke up with the mother of his 2 children & her dad helped raise the boys. My AS's parental rights were severed in court.

Welcome back and thanks for the update. What you are going through is not hopeless but it certainly is very hard. Sending prayers for the innocent child being born to two addicts. Is she still using during her pregnancy? Hugs, Marle

Hey laketime,
I was off the boards for awhile in a similar situation. The appearance of sobriety tinged with addiction. My son has disappointed me in similar ways. I finally kicked him out after he came home obviously drunk two nights in a row. It was horrible, and yet I feel release now. One minute I feel overwhelmingly sad, the next relieved. This addiction sucks. Hang in there lake. As you look back, know that you have done the best that you could do under the circumstances. And when you failed, give yourself a break. You are human.
krhea

Boy do I understand that statement...Some days I think yeah there is hope, then other days I'm just like "Hello any body in there" ...

I know it may seem a little strange right now - but Congratulations to you & Mrs. Lake on becoming grandparents.

I have 7 grandchildren and several of those precious babies were born under the "less than desirable circumstances" but they have proven to be such wonderful joys.

Prayers for all you, Mrs. Lake and all your family - may each of you have God's best in your life.

Rita

Laketime, It isn't the news you wanted to hear but somehow you will deal with it and the parents to be will to. I have you in my prayers and hope for the best.
Sometimes when I read here I see that no matter what is going on it is really up to us what we do or think or how we act. Ride with the waves or fight them. But boy sometimes we get some really choppy seas! Calm days are on the way, keep your head up!

((Laketime))
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.
In one of my previous posts I mentioned that I sometimes look for the "final straw" to give me a reason to cut all contact w/my 27 yr old AS. (Look for a reason so I don't have to do it all on my own, ya know what I mean.) Anyway . . . I always felt that "pregnancy" would be one of those reasons . . . if you've gotten yourself into that situation, you're responsible enough to (or need to be) to handle it. Thank God that never happened between AS and his exGF.
If you & Mrs. do not want to take on another child, adoption is another option.

p.s. I haven't found the "final straw" but am trying hard on my own to work the program. Thanks to my HP, everyone on SR, Alanon and Naranon.

Hi Lake! I wondered where you were!
you and your's have been in my prayers, now I will include the little baby. Sometimes we don't understand why something we consider tragic happens, but somethings are a blessing in disguise!
susan

(((Lake)))
Gosh I sure hate to admit this, but dealt with a similar circumstance this Spring. My oldest AS called and told us his GF was pregnant. I was NOT overjoyed, and it showed in my voice because he said he could not understand WHY I wasn't happy. Gosh, he can't support himself let alone a child, and I told him so.

Supposedly, a few weeks later, she had a miscarriage. It was a terrible time for me full of emotions...as I would love to be a grandparent in the right circumstances.

On the other hand, we never know how these things will turn out, we can't view the future. We just have to have faith that it will all turn out well.
Our H.P. has a plan.
Don't put yourself into the raising the child perspective just yet, sometimes life surprises us, and things turn out ,oh so differently then what we could have ever imagined.

Either way...you're going to be a great grandparent. :)