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He may have reached rock bottom

Old 07-13-2008, 08:15 PM
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Angry He may have reached rock bottom

My 23 yo AS has been out of a recovery facility 1 year in a couple of days. He got arrested last night for public intoxication and his gf filed charges for assault. He knew he was in trouble 3 weeks ago and didnt follow up on getting help. Now he has made is bed and has to lay in it.

Things had been going so well for him. So he led us all to believe.

Please pray for him as he sits in jail!

Lou Ann
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Old 07-13-2008, 09:39 PM
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Prayers are sometimes the only thing holding us up! You've got mine, Lou Ann.
krhea
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Old 07-13-2008, 09:42 PM
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Your family is in my prayers. :praying
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Old 07-13-2008, 09:55 PM
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Lou Ann,

Sorry about the relapse, but as a man in my Al Anon group (who is also in AA) said to me one time after my AD's relapse, "Yep, that's what we do."
I remember him saying it so matter of fact, so nonchalantly. And he was right. Sometimes relapse happens, but don't throw in the towel. He's had a year of sobriety and knows how that feels.

Regarding leaving him in jail, remember you are helping him see there ARE consequences for choices. We both know consequences don't get them sober, but they sure get their attention!

Might make you feel better that I have a friend who is doing the same thing you are doing tonight....thinking about their child in jail and she's leaving her there.
As I told my friend re her child..."She's safe, has a bed, 3 meals a day and you sure don't have to worry about where she is." She's letting her sit and thinking about how she got there. I think that's smart.

Another thing ... my sponsor has always told me to tell my RAD, "Well, honey, you got yourself into this and I'm sure you'll figure out how to work it out."

Hang in there, Lou Ann. You're doing great. Maybe you can make a meeting or two.

Hugs,
Hangin' In
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Old 07-14-2008, 12:04 AM
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Lou Ann,

Jail may be the best thing that ever happened to him. My husband is the Chaplain in the Boulder County Jail and for some, this is what it takes to make them see that "things just aren't working out the way they had planned". It is a good place to sober up, think about things and begin to make a plan for a new life.

I know that a "stay in jail" is what did the trick for our son (who is doing great now, and decided to turn his life around when he realized where his life was headed.

Hang in there...
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Old 07-14-2008, 12:22 PM
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Thanks to all of you for the responses. I have not been to this sight in 11 months. Thinking I was too cured! I just realized that we are never 'cured' but we do learn to deal.
I know my son is hating me again, and that is ok. When he gets transferred to county jail today he will hit a new realization and I pray for him. I said last night "3 hots and a cot". So I know he is at least getting the opportunity to eat and sleep as uncomfortable as it will be for him.
What I dont know is what will happen when he get out and I know that i have to let that worry go too. He will have no place to go. BUT he made that bad to lay in not me.
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Old 07-14-2008, 12:41 PM
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sorry to hear about your son, i pray that this is his wake up call. your right about not worring about his getting out, one day at a time. when that time comes, your hp will show you the way to go. maybe its possible that he can find a halfway house or something, god knows how to lead him too. keeing you and your family in my prayers
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Old 07-15-2008, 07:54 AM
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You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 07-15-2008, 09:07 AM
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(((Teazr17458)))
Some of my most restful days have been when my son has been in jail.
I know he is sleeping, eating, has a roof over his head, and he has PLENTY of time to think.


My son is 34, and has not sustained any length of time in recovery. Your son has a head start, he knows how good sobriety feels. Hopefully, he will work his way out of this mess he created, and work his way back to recovery.

And from what I have experienced, we always tend to "awfulize" for the future, and it never turns out as bad as we dreamed it would be.
So maybe try to attend some more meetings,
and make yourself feel better.


Hugs and prayers...
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Old 07-15-2008, 09:18 AM
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I have had two bouts of bad news in the last 24 hours - and what I am trying to focus on is "One Day at a Time". Today I am ok. Look at my feet, that is where my head should be. When I project I am in tomorrow - and I always project negatively and awfulize the situation. Use the recovery tools I have been given.

But it is not easy to do when my stomach is jumping and I didn't sleep last night. Much easier to "let go and let God" and "One Day at a Time" it when things are going my way.

When I feel like this, I think it will last forever - but I now it won't. "This too shall pass".

So after work I am going to the gym, then a meeting and then eat ice cream. Things I know to do to take care of myself.

I'm sorry about your son. Maybe what I'm doing today will help you too.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
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