advice needed
 

My finace is in recovery and is having one of those days. I don't know how to help him. I am at a lose as to what to do or where to turn. I want to tell him that it will get better and to keep him mind occupied. But I don'r know if that's right or not. Does anyone out there have any advice on how to get through this and how to help him get through it?

No he doesn't have a sponser yet. He has been in a methadone treatment program for almost 3 years now. He has decided to get off the methadone and live a substance free life entirely. He has come down to the wire now though and he is scared about getting off the methadone completely and it's not really very effective as far as the pain any more. The dose is too low. I am working with him to try to get him to start NA this coming week. But I thought that this would be a good place to start.

As far as me, I don't have anyone to talk to at all. I have no support system. That's why I decided to find this place and ask for some advice and some help. I can't talk to any of our friends or family. They judge me too much and object to anything I try to do.

Hi there welcome! So glad you have taken a step to help yourself. Glad your fiancee has too. One of the most difficult things I found early on was realizing I couldn't fix all the pain and hurt my loved ones were experiencing as they battled the addiction demon. That's hard...I thought that was part of being a mom; being the great fixer. My own recovery has helped me realize that I need to step back and allow them the room to grow.

I have found on particularly trying days that suggesting a diversion was helpful - a funny movie, a walk, a nice dinner. If it was accepted, great. If not, I had to try to not hover and accept that they had to find their way through it however they could.

Please keep reading and posting - there's tons of support here. I also found Naranon groups (or Alanon if there is no Naranon in your area) to be wonderful. The face to face support from others who have been where I was is terrific.

welcome to S.R. there is nothing you can really do to help him. his recovery is his. find a meeting to go to & work recovery for your yourself. prayers for both of you.

Wow. Thanks to all of you!! I never knew so much help and love could be found so quickly. I appriciate all of you very much!

Hey korman,
welcome to our family. Your reaching out for help is a strength. No one here will judge you. Just share their stories, failures and successes. My AS has been in and out of rehab for four years and is still struggling with staying clean. I have no words of advice, but hang in there.
krhea