Went to my first meeting
 

Last night I drove to a meeting that wasn't to far from me and th place was packed. I believe they have another group there also but not sure who.

Well I have been in such a state with myself the last few days I was crying before they asked me anything. I hated to cry but I really couldn't hold it back. Anyway it was so nice to talk to others with the same problems but also sad.

I told them I had found this place and it was wonderful.
I can see the heartache in faces and how hard it is to just put your kids aside no matter how old they are. It is like were conditioned to be there for them no matter what. But in this case were only hurting them and prolonging their torment.
It really helped me a lot especially this week because I have been so torn about AD and anger and everything. Well it didn't really change anything really but I was able to vent and I felt better and not so guilty.
But then I think I have cried all day on and off asking why, why, why. [Up, down this is not good. Maybe going last night made it more real to me also? I don't know. I will be ok in a few days.:codiepolice

Bee-Gee... Good for you. I know the feeling. It is exactly what happened to me the first time I went to a meeting. I sat there and cried. Couldn't say much, but looking back I think it was relief more than anything that caused the tears.

I left there feeling like I had gone to the right place, but sad because I then new my problems and what I was dealing with was very real. I cried for what seemed like forever... but you are right... you will be ok. You are taking care of you and I try to look at the tears as washing away some of the pain.

Keep taking care of you! HUGS!

(((BeeGee)))

I'm sorry you're still struggling, but SO glad you made it to a meeting. I think the crying is something we all go through. Fortunately, we don't have to go through it alone...keep up the meetings and stick close to us.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

i know the feeling so well. it does bring all the feelings out but that is a good thing. we need to walk through the feelings in order for us to get better. keep going back & stay with us. we r here for you. hugs from one mom to another & prayers for you both.

I think it is normal to cry at the meetings... especially your first one. The emotions that are brought out in such a visible way are very hard to harnass... it's good to cry it out. IMO, that's a good first stage in healing.

I'm so glad you got to go!

*hugs and prayers*

((beegee))
Glad you were able to find a meeting, make it in the door and return here to share it with us.
The first time I went to Naranon it was sooo depressing I didn't go back for about 6 weeks. (I kept attending Alanon in the meantime. Somehow it was easier to walk in there and admit my Dad is an alcoholic & even talk about my addict son.) Things got desperate for me and I went back to the Naranon meeting, Thank my HP I did. I felt so much better the second time around!
That was just two weeks ago, there was no meeting last week because of the 4th, I can't wait to get back there tonight!!!
Good luck,
Joan

beegee,
After my first meeting I wasn't sure I was going back. I cried the whole time, I went to a meeting the next week and cried again. It is 3 years this month that I started and I thank my HP everyday for sending me there. If they gave you a phone list please use it, everyone knows how you are feeling, they felt/feel the same way.
Keep coming back here it is good to share wherever you can with people who UNDERSTAND the illness.
Sending hugs for you and your family

My first meetings? I walked in, sat down, cried for an hour. I could barely squeak out my name when they went around and made introductions. The people there were so kind and supportive, they said they were glad I was there and they hoped I would keep coming back. And I did. I realized that for that one hour, I was safe and at peace. There were people in the rooms who understood my life. They confirmed to me that I wasn't crazy. I realized that I wanted what they had - a better life.

And I kept going. When I moved out of state, it took me awhile to find another meeting/group with whom I felt a connection. But that's the thing about Al Anon and Nar Anon- there are usually a variety of meetings and meeting types to fit nearly everyone.

I will tell anyone who will listen that Al Anon saved my life. I am eternally grateful to those who went before me, and I will do my best to be of service to those who come after me.

hey beegee, just wanted to show my support. glad to meet you and i'm glad to hear you went to your first meeting, keep going, it gets better. keeping you and your family in my prayers.

So glad you got to a meeting - give yourself a hug. Walking into my first one was so scarey - but it was the beginning of saving my life.

I cried for weeks at meetings. It was the only hour in the day that I could let down my guard and think about what was going on in my home. But the folks were all so nice, understanding and had stories like mine - at least the feelings part. I felt like I was coming home!

25 years later, I'm still reading my Alanon literature and staying in touch with Alanon friends. It's become a wonderful way of life.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

What everyone above has said.... crying in the first meetings is normal. I wish I could say I only cried at the first one - but my crying went on for a time.

We have "newcomer" or "first step" meetings often in my home group, and it is a nice reminder to those of us who have been in program of just how much pain we were in when WE first arrived, and it causes most of us to feel a great deal of compassion for the newcomer.

Do keep going back, and you might not have to travel TOO far - I don't know if you were worried about seeing someone you know in the local meetings (I was). But you know what? They are there for the same reason as I am ... so they have just as much motivation as me to keep the anonymity (which is the a prime basic of all 12-step meetings).


I am glad you tried one... keep coming back! ((hugs))

Joan I was so worried about not attending a good meeting, it was very plesant suprise for me.

Pam, they did give me a phone list but they never said anything about it because we were running really late. Isn't that a nice thing to be able to do now call someone who knows....(((hugs back))))

Cats Pajamas,
Now thats what I am talking about..what a great connection for us all ans S& R included. I hope one day I can give back what people have given to me now.

BigSis,You know what, I never gave it a thought about who I might run into. I know my ad goes far away for her meetings for that reason. I just was so happy to go and hopeful to meet other parents. Normally if I wasn't so disheveled I probably would have thought about a far away place. Glad I didn't.