rozied

What should have turned out to be a half way decent day was ruined. My husband Jim took his stuff to him at wk release. The 1st thing Joey did was walk out with another guy & ask Jim to take them to the Mall. Jim just drove over 70 miles & still had to drive back & this is what Joey did. Jim said no so Joey said "You must really hate me " YES Jim is angry with Joey but hate is not the word. Then I forgot to pack the electric razor. I had it packed & he asked me to charge it so I took it out then forgot to repack it. I mailed it when Jim got back. It only cost $4.80 overnight. Then Joey calls my Mom 3 times asking them to come there twice to take him for jobs. My Mom said No she doesn't drive anymore & my Dad won't go. I thank my HP for that I think my dad has finally had enough.
Let him do what most of the other guys do, walk & the bus. My Mom even gave him $40 for a bus pass. Then he says " You need a money order to get a bus pass. So let him go buy one & find a way. I am so sick of my kids I could scream. All it has done is leave me arguing with my husband. I even went to my recliner to watch TV cuz JIm won't stop complaining. I know how it is...................by last nite I needed to get my mind off everything & watch tv.......mindless activity.
Thanx for listening,
Diane

rozied

Only bumping it up.

Impurrfect

(((Rozied)))

I'm so sorry he's still being self-centered. Hopefully, when he realizes that everyone is not jumping to do what he wants, he will figure things out on his own.

I was in a diversion center (locked up, but allowed to work) and they got our bus passes for us. They also gave us ideas for jobs, but we had to go out and look for work. It wasn't fun, we had some pretty strict rules, but I got through it.

He will, too, and if he figures out how to do thing for himself, he might actually learn something from it!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

peaceteach

(((Diane))),

I think that having a really sh*tty day now and then is the norm in life, as long as you are able to start making most days good ones. I had a crummy one yesterday too! Maybe it was the heavens out of alignment or something-lol

Today is a new start. Can you meet your husband for lunch or arrange a nice dinner together to look forward to? Remember also, that you can take a day off from phone calls whenever you want or need to, just to protect your own serenity. Sending a big mom hug out to you this morning, Diane!

mooselips

Rozied,
That sure was awful nice of your hubby to drive the stuff down to your son, and go "out" of his way for him. Too bad it ended kind of sorely.


It's hard sometimes, to remember we are not "obligated" to do these things for them that they could do theirselves. I sure have to keep reminding myself of that every so often.

Perhaps re-examine your boundaries, discuss them with your husband and try to have a united front! That was always a hard thing to have around here, because I am/was SO codependent I jumped whenever the kids asked!
And here's poor Mr. Moose looking at me like I'm a crazy banjee woman!

IMO, as we get stepped on over and over, and feel unappreciated we get stronger boundaries, and it's good for us, (and our husbands) and good for our drug dependents too.

Hugs to you, Diane

cece1960

((((Rozied))))
I really dislike feeling like someone is kicking me in the shins, which is how the both of you must feel.
Sometimes, when my son is acting like a spoiled brat, it helps me to back off even more. Its when he's acting sweet and needy that I struggle.

Back off and let him fend for himself for a while. He's not in danger, so relax in at least knowing that.
Its time for you and the Mr.
(((Rozied)))

marle

My daughter is in an upscale halfway house. And we are only middle class people. The other people in the house drive Mercedes and BMWs. My daughter still has a bit of entitlement going. Yesterday the girl she rooms with made fun of her $10 Walmart purse. I had to remind my daughter that for over 2 years she did not even have a purse and that she is not in the recovery house to compare herself to other people. Rich, poor they are all equal because they are all addicts. Anyway, selfishness is part and parcel of the disease but it can also just be part of our children's sense of entitlement. I remind my daughter that someday I will not be here and she must work toward independence. Hugs, Marle

hello-kitty

((hugs)))

You know what? THAT SUCKS!!!!!

It makes me look at my little 3 year old and think Please God not him! I'm sorry your son is acting so ungrateful. Sure seems obvious to me that you did the right thing by not going up there with your husband. I wish he would just leave gramma alone.

When I (and anyone else I knew) got serious about recovery, the first thing we developed was a sense of gratefulness - that we had anyone or anything left in our lives, that we still had a life - one more shot at staying clean.

Your son doesnt have that yet. I'm sorry.

itisatruth

(((Diane)))

So sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday and why. I'm sending good thoughts and hugs your way for today to be a good day.

I did notice that people are telling Joey "No" more. Hopefully that will help him to start seeing 1) he won't always have people to "bail" him out of his choices and 2) help him see what he should be grateful for.

Hope there are some good mindless TV shows for you today. Or, maybe you (and Jim) can get out to do something together.

rozied

Thanks to you all. Today was a lot better day. I even spoke to Joey on the phone & he apologized for even asking Jim to take him to the Mall. He tells me he is through using & through with stealing. I know if he doesn't use he won't steal. The only reason he ever stole was to use.

beegee

Rozied I am happy today is better.(((((HUGS)))))) I hope Joey is being honest and I say prayers for you all that is will be a good day soon.

greeteachday

Glad today was a better day for you and Jim. I agree with what everyone said and especially related to Cece's comment - I always found it easier to say no when my kids were being ungrateful and feeling entitled. It was when they were sad and needy that it was so tough. Hugs to you and Mr R

mooselips

It's once again the adage of Ann's "The difference between a bad day, and a good day is about 24 hours..." ha ha

Glad you're feeling better....

rozied

Thanx you all & yes I agree its easier to be tough when they act ungrateful & entitled. It is when he is sad & lonely that its so hard.
Diane I love Ann's wisdom too.