I feel SOOOOO much better!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
I feel SOOOOO much better!
I think 90% of my nervous breakdown a couple weeks ago was from Chantix (the quit-smoking drug that can make people crazy and suicidal)!! and NOT from my AD's nonsense.
I weaned off it quickly, have been completely off it about a week now, and feel like a whole new person.
Since nothing whatsoever has changed with my AD or with anything else in my life, and i no longer feel like killing myself or getting high and losing 4 years clean, i have to conclude it WAS the chantix making me that crazy!
In fact, I'de been on chantix (in between very brief periods of smoking) for most of the past 18 months. so I wonder how much of my extreme despair and depression and sadness and everything else was actually NOT due to my AD's crap, but instead due to the chantix!! Guess I'll never know. Maybe I'm just at another level of surrender, finally.
I do know that I no longer even WANT to talk to my AD. Why would I want to talk with someone who's high on crack all the time, and is also verbally abusive, unstable, and totally self-centered anyway? I think the only reason I got so many "I'm so sorry"'s and so many "I love you"'s from her before, is that she needed me to do stuff she wanted me to do (take her to clinic, etc). Now that I have told her to take herself to the clinic (etc), she clearly has no use for her dear old mom. So that would explain the lack of contact with me for almost 2 months (including mother's day), wouldn't it?. Boy was I dumb!
I think I may finally get it - the whole detachment thing! My kid, since becoming addicted, has never done one single thing (or NOT done one single thing) that she didn't want to do or not do anyway! I have no power over her whatsoever no matter what I do or say ( or don't do or don't say). Yes, her life is a great big tangled mess of drug addiction and AIDS and insanity. I have no idea how to untangle it. good thing I don't have to, huh?
take care,
sleepy
I weaned off it quickly, have been completely off it about a week now, and feel like a whole new person.
Since nothing whatsoever has changed with my AD or with anything else in my life, and i no longer feel like killing myself or getting high and losing 4 years clean, i have to conclude it WAS the chantix making me that crazy!
In fact, I'de been on chantix (in between very brief periods of smoking) for most of the past 18 months. so I wonder how much of my extreme despair and depression and sadness and everything else was actually NOT due to my AD's crap, but instead due to the chantix!! Guess I'll never know. Maybe I'm just at another level of surrender, finally.
I do know that I no longer even WANT to talk to my AD. Why would I want to talk with someone who's high on crack all the time, and is also verbally abusive, unstable, and totally self-centered anyway? I think the only reason I got so many "I'm so sorry"'s and so many "I love you"'s from her before, is that she needed me to do stuff she wanted me to do (take her to clinic, etc). Now that I have told her to take herself to the clinic (etc), she clearly has no use for her dear old mom. So that would explain the lack of contact with me for almost 2 months (including mother's day), wouldn't it?. Boy was I dumb!
I think I may finally get it - the whole detachment thing! My kid, since becoming addicted, has never done one single thing (or NOT done one single thing) that she didn't want to do or not do anyway! I have no power over her whatsoever no matter what I do or say ( or don't do or don't say). Yes, her life is a great big tangled mess of drug addiction and AIDS and insanity. I have no idea how to untangle it. good thing I don't have to, huh?
take care,
sleepy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Absolutely Sleepy..... you don't have to..... and you can't... no matter how much you would like to...... you just can't. This is not your daughter anyway.... it's the crack ... and you are powerless over the crack.
So..... the Chantix eh? Did you stay on path with not smoking anymore? What a neat thing to tie the two and two together. I didn't know it had those side effects...... thinking I'll not take it or wait awhile before I do.
BIG love xoxo
So..... the Chantix eh? Did you stay on path with not smoking anymore? What a neat thing to tie the two and two together. I didn't know it had those side effects...... thinking I'll not take it or wait awhile before I do.
BIG love xoxo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
Yes, abundance, I am still quit from smoking (almost 4 months now).
The chantix is really a miracle drug, in that it takes away pretty much all the cravings for a cigarette and makes quitting about as easy as can be - its very much like suboxone for quitting heroin-. But there are side effects. the common ones are nausea/vomitting, insomnia, constipation. the less common (but highly dangerous) ones are suicidal depression, violent behavior, suicide. The depression aspect can come at any time - the longer you are on chantix, the more likely. Now please understand, many, many, many people have no side effects at all. But its been all over the news, these cases of severe depression and even suicide linked to chantix. It's not recommended for people with any history of depression. Of course, I thought I knew better and that I could 'handle it'. I personally know 2 other woman who went bonkers on this stuff!! I am very grateful it served its purpose to get me off of cigarettes, though.
The chantix is really a miracle drug, in that it takes away pretty much all the cravings for a cigarette and makes quitting about as easy as can be - its very much like suboxone for quitting heroin-. But there are side effects. the common ones are nausea/vomitting, insomnia, constipation. the less common (but highly dangerous) ones are suicidal depression, violent behavior, suicide. The depression aspect can come at any time - the longer you are on chantix, the more likely. Now please understand, many, many, many people have no side effects at all. But its been all over the news, these cases of severe depression and even suicide linked to chantix. It's not recommended for people with any history of depression. Of course, I thought I knew better and that I could 'handle it'. I personally know 2 other woman who went bonkers on this stuff!! I am very grateful it served its purpose to get me off of cigarettes, though.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Sleepy)))
I am so glad you're feeling better. I had thought about the Chantix, but I read on a forum they have for it that it causes severe arthritis in some people, and exacerbates in some others, and I don't need my aches and pains getting any worse!
Good for you for not smoking, though. I really need to quit, but guess I don't want to bad enough yet.
I'm also glad you're going to let your daughter deal with her own stuff! That is a huge step in YOUR recovery, and just may spur her closer to her own recovery.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I am so glad you're feeling better. I had thought about the Chantix, but I read on a forum they have for it that it causes severe arthritis in some people, and exacerbates in some others, and I don't need my aches and pains getting any worse!
Good for you for not smoking, though. I really need to quit, but guess I don't want to bad enough yet.
I'm also glad you're going to let your daughter deal with her own stuff! That is a huge step in YOUR recovery, and just may spur her closer to her own recovery.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Oh Sleepy I know exactely how you feel. My AS has made such a complete mess of his life with his 20 yr addiction there is no way I could straighten it out as he won't listen to me anyway. Exactely what you said. It is up to them to straighten it out. If he would have listened it wouldn't be this messed up but the thing is everyone gets a life & ultimately it is up to each & everyone of us what we do with it.
I am too tired of trying to help other people straighten out their lives....I must pay attention to my own life.
I am sorry for what you are going through,
Diane
I am too tired of trying to help other people straighten out their lives....I must pay attention to my own life.
I am sorry for what you are going through,
Diane
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Sleepy,
You sound great, girl. I like the clarity you are showing today regarding viewing your AD with nonemotional eyes and seeing how nothing you have done has made a difference in her wanting to quit her DOC. That's a powerful thing to understand, and really frees YOU up to take better care of you
Thanks for the Chantix info also. I have been reading about it, but was also worried about the side effects (I can see myself being one of those severe reaction people, totally!) I think the only solution for me to quit cigarettes is to go to a cigarette Rehab where they would keep me occupied and focused for maybe 3 months-LOL!
You sound great, girl. I like the clarity you are showing today regarding viewing your AD with nonemotional eyes and seeing how nothing you have done has made a difference in her wanting to quit her DOC. That's a powerful thing to understand, and really frees YOU up to take better care of you
Thanks for the Chantix info also. I have been reading about it, but was also worried about the side effects (I can see myself being one of those severe reaction people, totally!) I think the only solution for me to quit cigarettes is to go to a cigarette Rehab where they would keep me occupied and focused for maybe 3 months-LOL!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Hey, peaceteach..if you find that kind of rehab, I want to go!!! I was just trying to figure out how I could take a couple of weeks off work to quit smoking...I'm so darn irritable when I try to quit!
Sleepy - my hat's definitely off to you and the others here who have quit smoking AND kept your sanity!
Sleepy - my hat's definitely off to you and the others here who have quit smoking AND kept your sanity!
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Sleepy,
Congrats on the stopping smoking!
As for your AD, I sure can understand how you feel, as I have the same thing going on over here with my AS. I have decided I truly want NO part of him whatsoever, until he is sober, and in recovery. The only time we hear from him is if he wants money, or is hurt.
I think some of my attitude comes from anger, but after dancing this dance for almost 20 years, I think maybe it's time to get angry!
Hugs to you, from one mom to another...
Congrats on the stopping smoking!
As for your AD, I sure can understand how you feel, as I have the same thing going on over here with my AS. I have decided I truly want NO part of him whatsoever, until he is sober, and in recovery. The only time we hear from him is if he wants money, or is hurt.
I think some of my attitude comes from anger, but after dancing this dance for almost 20 years, I think maybe it's time to get angry!
Hugs to you, from one mom to another...
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
I understand Sleepy...there comes a time when enough is enough.
I also had trouble with chantix, but not nearly as severe as you. I had digestive problems that made me feel lousy to I stopped taking it, but it did do well with the cravings.
Congrats on the quit!
I also had trouble with chantix, but not nearly as severe as you. I had digestive problems that made me feel lousy to I stopped taking it, but it did do well with the cravings.
Congrats on the quit!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
I quit cold turkey but went through a period of weepy depression because I had lost my best friend (the cigarettes). Glad that you are feeling better and that you are not smoking. As for the daughter, I detached from mine in anger until I could find compassion for her suffering. She is doing well in her recovery for NOW ( meaning I know it could change at any second) but she had to really want it. My wanting it for her was not enough. Prayers that your mood continues to improve and that your daughter will find the willingness. Hugs, Marle
). Glad that you are feeling better and that you are not smoking. As for the daughter, I detached from mine in anger until I could find compassion for her suffering. She is doing well in her recovery for NOW ( meaning I know it could change at any second) but she had to really want it. My wanting it for her was not enough. Prayers that your mood continues to improve and that your daughter will find the willingness. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
I'm glad you're feeling better and also glad that you now realize how much of your problems were from the side effects of the Chantrix. I have a friend whose wife had a psychotic episode due to the drug- she lost all sense of reality.
Sometimes having the understanding of why I've struggled gives me a great sense of relief that 'yes' I am getting better and making good progress.
Congrats on ditching the ciggies!
Sometimes having the understanding of why I've struggled gives me a great sense of relief that 'yes' I am getting better and making good progress.
Congrats on ditching the ciggies!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
Wow. I have been a smoker for years and have been giving serious thought to this drug to quit. My health is not the best and I need to quit. Guess I better do some more reasearch on this drug before just popping them in my mouth. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
Glad you are feeling better. Detachment is a great thing in our own recovery.
Chantix was difficult for my husband also. I don't think we realized it at the time, because he was taking other things as well. But it makes more sense now from things we've heard. In March, he was put in the county mental health because he was suicidal. It was difficult, but it gave him time to get a clearer head.
Keep taking care of yourself.
Chantix was difficult for my husband also. I don't think we realized it at the time, because he was taking other things as well. But it makes more sense now from things we've heard. In March, he was put in the county mental health because he was suicidal. It was difficult, but it gave him time to get a clearer head.
Keep taking care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
HA..... I was thinking the same thing......... rehab for cigarettes!!!! Sign me up!!!! I feel that my being a smoker is my gateway into understanding just a little bit about addiction.... the basis of it at least.
I want to quit as well, but obviously not that badly...... but I am seeing the benefits of quitting outweighing the risk of using.... however, I'm still smoking..... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......... it does **** me off at times.
I want to quit as well, but obviously not that badly...... but I am seeing the benefits of quitting outweighing the risk of using.... however, I'm still smoking..... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......... it does **** me off at times.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Sleepy I sure am glad you are feeling better. I was worried aobut you. Sounds like you found the problem and it has made a huge difference. So sorry your daughter is still doing what addicts do, but I am glad that your own recovery is shining through. And congrats on quitting - excellent!!
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