She is gone again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In the Heart of Dixie
Posts: 128
She is gone again
Lauren, my 19 year old AD had been at home for a little over a week, things have been ok, last night when I was leaving work I got a text from her telling me that she was going to the abusive boyfriends and that he would bring her home this morning. I spent the night at my mothers last night, it is still hard after all this time going home that first day or so she is gone. She kept telling me she was going to go with her friend that lives out of state but I just don't think she will go and I want her to so very bad, the selfish thing is I want her to go!!! I think a major change is what she needs but she is too wrapped up in her screwed up world to see that. But enough fussing for one day!!!! 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i hope she does the right things. you are not selfish hopeing she will leave town.lots of times that is what they need. either way she has to take herself with her. remember the 3 c's. you did not CAuse it, you can not Control it, & you can not Cure it. You are powerless. prayers for you both.
StrivingToThrive
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
(((((Obsessed)))))
Its so hard when we feel ourselves spiraling out of control emotionally as we watch them do the same as an addict. We start looking at all the possible outcomes and it sends us over the edge, back to the desire to fix/change/control it all. ( If only they could...)
I have been there before when I think my son seems to be getting it and then he heads back down a destructive road again.
When those times hit, and I feel myself falling into my illness as he falls into his, I have to tell myself I cannot pick his time to get it. And this must not be his time. No matter how much it means to me, it has to mean something to him for it to stick.
I understand your desire for her to go away, to get away from the problems and company it keeps as well as get some distance from you.
But I have found that where ever my son goes he always seems to find it if he wants it.
But when he's away its easier for me not to live it.
I understand the desire to retreat to a safe place like your mom's where the pain isn't so visible. So take the break and keeping working on you.
Prayers to you both,
Cathy
Its so hard when we feel ourselves spiraling out of control emotionally as we watch them do the same as an addict. We start looking at all the possible outcomes and it sends us over the edge, back to the desire to fix/change/control it all. ( If only they could...)
I have been there before when I think my son seems to be getting it and then he heads back down a destructive road again.
When those times hit, and I feel myself falling into my illness as he falls into his, I have to tell myself I cannot pick his time to get it. And this must not be his time. No matter how much it means to me, it has to mean something to him for it to stick.
I understand your desire for her to go away, to get away from the problems and company it keeps as well as get some distance from you.
But I have found that where ever my son goes he always seems to find it if he wants it.
But when he's away its easier for me not to live it.
I understand the desire to retreat to a safe place like your mom's where the pain isn't so visible. So take the break and keeping working on you.
Prayers to you both,
Cathy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
Lauren is not going to change until the bad out weighs the good. 
I know how you feel, the pain of waking up and they have lied again, not come home, etc.
She is sick, so are we! Continue reaching out, praying, and reading. There is peace when you finally get there.
prayers,
susan
I know how you feel, the pain of waking up and they have lied again, not come home, etc.She is sick, so are we! Continue reaching out, praying, and reading. There is peace when you finally get there.
prayers,
susan
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Trying to focus only on the process, not on the outcomes is SO hard for me... but has been important in my recovery.
When I allow my Higher Power to determine the outcomes, I have noticed He often includes MANY people in the process... several folks will be touched by an event, and not just me and the addict.
The only drawback in letting HP do His work..... He seems to take a long time.
But the outcomes are WAAAAYYYY better, and certainly worth waiting for.
PS - I am seeing a lot of growth in you since you first got here, Obsessed. I wish you the best.
When I allow my Higher Power to determine the outcomes, I have noticed He often includes MANY people in the process... several folks will be touched by an event, and not just me and the addict.
The only drawback in letting HP do His work..... He seems to take a long time.
But the outcomes are WAAAAYYYY better, and certainly worth waiting for.PS - I am seeing a lot of growth in you since you first got here, Obsessed. I wish you the best.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I hope while Lauren is out you will spend a night doing something just for you my friend. I found that doing those little things for me started to help me keep the focus there more often and less on being obsessed with what my daughter was doing. Hugs
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