Language of Letting Go - June 18 - Being Vulnerable
 

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Being Vulnerable

Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections - not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn't respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

We learn from our mistakes - and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately, so we don't scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

Today, God, help me learn to be appropriately vulnerable. I will not let others exploit or shame me for being vulnerable, and I will not exploit myself.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Beautiful thank you

As usual, the thing I need to see is put in front of my face...I am working on this very thing right now. To get what you want, you have to give it...If we want real relationships, the kind that fill your heart, we need to open up which makes us vulnerable...I am finding it makes some people hug you closely, some people cry, and some people run...Opening ourselves to others, sharing our story's[lets admit it, we have some doozy's], without coming across as victims, allows others to do the same...Im finding this exercise a little scary and very very free-ing....I always thought vulnerability was a weakness...Now, I find it is a gift and a sign of strength and growth...Thank you Ann

:bump

It was so hard for me to open up and share my true feelings, admit my terrible mistakes, and to be honest about my life. I was so afraid and ashamed and broken, I thought to say it all out loud would kill me.

I was lucky, I didn't share until I found my home group of CoDA, which turned out to be a safe and understanding place to share. I cried and wept, they accepted me anyway, I sniffled and they handed me tissues and gave me hugs. I didn't break, I didn't die. I found huge relief in sharing with people who understood.

I grew and today I can more comfortably share my feelings and share my dreams...because recovery taught me that they are valid and they are mine and it doesn't matter what anyone else things. I can be vulnerable today because I know I won't break or die. What would kill me today would be to stuff all my feelings and dreams so deep that even I could no longer find them. That's not going to happen, recovery promises me that.

I needed this reminder today and glad it was bumped.

Hugs

Glad it was bumped! I needed to read that :)

I've always been very shy with sharing things. I think it is partly due to growing up with an addicted mother. I was ashamed of her behavior and the fact she was always breaking law. I was taught from an early age to hide secrets. It's been difficult to unlearn. I have continued the addicts in my life--not talking to others about their addictions.

Thanks. Needed to read this. It is such a comfort to know I am not alone.

Ann - there couldn't be a more perfect thing for me to read today. Thank you.

Awesome.

Glad this was bumped. :)