sponsorship

Old 06-12-2008, 10:37 AM
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sponsorship

I posted this in the Friends of Alcoholic forum, too. The more responses, the better! Thanks!

At my meeting tonight, again, I was asked by a few people if I got a sponsor, yet. Seems like that is what you are supposed to do, but I'm not really sure why. Maybe I'm not sharing correctly?

What's wrong with just reading and going to meetings?
I really don't want to take on more work, but was told the work I'd do would be more fruitful and worth it. Also, it was mentioned I could get a temporary sponsor to just try it out.

I have trouble with the higher power aspect, but I do enjoy the company of others who can relate to my experience, too.


Thoughts?? What am I missing from not having a sponsor?
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Old 06-12-2008, 12:29 PM
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For me, my own very best thinking (and reading) got me in the mess I was living in. The denial of the ASs, thinking my behavior was ok, the person I had become.

A sponsor knows me better than anyone else - and loves me anyway - guides me through the steps, always has solutions to problems that I never thought of. In short, an incredible gift and blessing in my life.

Why else do I have a sponsor - because that's how the program of Alanon works. I never followed directions before - I was special, too smart, too scared, blah, blah, blah. And I desperately wanted what I saw longtime Alanoners had - peace and serenity no matter what the alcoholic/addict was doing. I was told "if you want what we have, you do what we do".

And besides I expected the ASs in my life to get a sponsor, work the program, and so I was told to do the same. And it made them feel like we were all trying to do recovery - me included.

Give it a try.

Love in recovery,
Dottie Lou
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Old 06-12-2008, 12:58 PM
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I am not one to really say because I have yet to go to an Alanon meeting. (Which by the way I just found one and will be going next Wed) But, I do know this. I know that the program of AA would not work without sponsorship, and working the program. So, therefore I can only expect that the same principles would apply to the Alanon meetings.
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:46 PM
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What a coincidence...I am not currently able to go to many meetings as I have a 2 year old living with me...I have been using a fill in sponsor, the problem is that she is having problems and sometimes it seems I am doing better than her. Friday nights there is a meeting about 35 miles away. My mom has Xander on Friday and Sat nights. I have/had a date for tomorrow night but something made me email the man and tell him I would not be available til after 8pm...I told him that I needed to go to this meeting tomorrow because I need to find a sponsor, do the steps correctly, so that I may be of use to someone that was as downtrodden as I was when I started 3 years ago...My opinion is that to do this the right way, we need to do it the right way... Thy will not mine...thanks for this post...Marian
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:50 PM
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aztchr -

I am an active and grateful member of Nar-Anon and have been for almost a year. I regularly attend my home group meeting and other Nar/Al-Anon meetings in my area. I have not yet begun to work the steps with a sponsor, although I hope to someday, as I see amazing recovery in the people who do have sponsors through the sharing of their experiences, strength and hope.

You can work the steps in your own way in your own time. The only suggestion I have is to KEEP GOING BACK.
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Old 06-12-2008, 05:53 PM
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I have been attending Nar-Anon for almost 3 years. I waited for about 2 years before I got myself a sponsor. In the past year I have grown so much with her help. We meet with another person she sponsors and have dinner before our meeting. Sometimes I need help for them and sometimes they need help from me. We are there to really support each other and we know that we have someone Take your time in finding one, look for someone you like and have things in common with.
Good luck and keep going to the meetings
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Old 06-12-2008, 06:31 PM
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My recovery didn't really take off until I worked the steps with a sponsor. I think that it was just the fact of being accountable and getting outside of my own head and my own best thinking that made such a difference. She was able to share her experience, strength, and hope as we worked through them. I had worked the steps on my own several times and it never brought me a 1/4 of the awareness of doing them with a sponsor.

Sponsorship is also about developing a relationship that has time to bloom and grow and establish the foundations of trust and knowing one another. When the sh*t hits the fans it is wonderful to have someone that knows me inside and out....and also knows the deal of recovery and can help me to apply the principles.

I go to AA and have a sponsor in that program. I also go to Alanon but I do not have an Alanon sponsor. Once you get past the 1st step it's all pretty much the same though. I don't think that anyone was suggesting that you get a sponsor because of anything that you are saying or not saying. It's just such a helpful relationship that it's a frequent recommendation.

Even if there isn't someone that you feel like you want to be your sponsor you could ask someone to be your temporary sponsor just to get you started.

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Old 06-12-2008, 06:43 PM
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Ann
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
if you were going to take up White Water Kayaking....would ya just grab a kayak and hop in the first class III river you come across???? OR would you find someone who knows which of end of the boat goes in the water first, and how to hold the paddles, and how to do that scary looking eskimo roll thing first?
That's how it was for me. I thought I could do it on my own and I tried a couple of times. When I finally began to "listen" and decided that my way was rarely the best way, I got a sponsor who had several years experience and had worked the steps herself many times. She was wonderful. She was patient and kind but a straight shooter and called me on my stuff every time. To the day I die I will be grateful for this she-devil with a heart of gold who gave me back the will to live.

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