MsPINKAcres

when you go to your al-anon meeting, then should give you a newcomer's package - it will have some literature in it - there is a pamphlet on detachment. You should also be able to purchase a book called "How Al-Anon works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics".

This book has awesome information about recovery, about the disease, about our loved ones and about us. It may help you with the detachment stuff.

As far as going to see your son - that is a decision only you can make. Neither way is a good or bad decision. Sometimes it's about what is right for YOU. Maybe you might need a break, and let him have some time to really work on his recovery. This way both of you will have time to "get a little recovery under your belt" before a visit - I don't know what is best - but you can seek guidance from a Higher Power to lead you as to what is best.

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita

Chino

He may have been at that point in time. Something that compounds addiction in younger people is the prefrontal cortex. It governs reasoning, impulse control and judgment. In teenagers it still isn't fully developed and that's why one day they may do the right thing and the opposite the next day.

beegee

When my daughter first came back to Fl she said she needed help financially. I really had no idea why. She moved in on the pretense to help me later on. I find out she had tickets, no licence, no transfer of tags on her car, well it cost me like 2 grand to bail her out. (I was such a fool) Soon as she could drive, she got a job and after the first two paychecks she quit. She bought her coke and was happy. Then I learned about drugs.I thought I saved her, all I did was empty my savings and enable her. To shorten this left came back and used me some more. I threw her out even thought it killed me, she was yelling outside the door mom please I am sorry I will get help. And I was hiding in the bathroom so I wouldn't her her. PS she called the next day and I told her go away, I don't want to see you again unless you get help. She vanished. This year she came back and I let her in and again she took from me. I may as well have handed everything to her but I thought she was ok. I went into the hospital for a month for a hip operation and three week rehab and she came almost every day and I was so happy for us. But when I got home no money, no booze, dirty house, no food. OMG I was devasted and here I couldn't even walk as my other hip needs surgery too. Talk about depression and crying, I wanted to die I think. I called he sister and she went with her and she lined her up with this rehab that will accept her after one clean week. And then I founf this place and it has been like a soft pillow for me to fall. To get support and understanding and know what your going throught you are not alone. Manipulation is the name of the game and I see it clearly now. You feel guilt to turn away but it is worse to help the wrong way. I am new here also but I will tell you, listen to what they tell you here THEY ARE EXPERIENCED and they know, they want to help us all not hurt us. Sorry if I went too long good luck to you and lean on your husband.

Jody Hepler

Do you know when an addict is lying?

When he is moving his mouth.