ZombieWife

Lately, it seems like everything in RAH's life has just been bad. He is so negative. Work sucks. It's so hard. He can't sleep. Every morning, I hear the same thing: work was terrible. I'm so tired. I couldn't sleep. I slept like caca.

I guess I feel bad in a sense, like I'm doing something wrong. I just want to hear him say that things weren't that bad at work, that his nights don't suck. I just don't know how to deal with people who always complain and never have anything positive to say.

(sigh)

Sorry, just venting.

I wish I could be more helpful to him, more supportive, more something.

Impurrfect

I honestly don't think you CAN support someone who is locked in misery. I knew a woman, once, who lived to complain. I always said that if she won the lottery, she would complain that she had to drive somewhere to pick up the money.

I know, for me, it brings me down to be around someone like that. I know in early recovery (very early), I was a little down, but I found a lot to be grateful for pretty darn quick. However, when I was just clean, and NOT recovering, I was pretty miserable.

Has he always been this way? Does he realize how negative he's being?

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers, because I know it's hard to be positive around negativity.

Amy

BayAreaPhoenix

It's draining being around people like that. My AH was/is one, he was either quiet and never said anything, or it was complaining about same kind of stuff. I tried being supportive for a while, talking about good things, you know trying to "steer" the conversation and set a better tone. He wouldn't follow, so I finally just gave up. Some people just don't get that they actually can be happy. I don't know why.

Make sure you keep yourself on the upside and don't get sucked into the vortex of gloom and doom!

NEVEREnds

Misery loves company so try to stay positive regardless of the constant negative talk. I dealt with this with AH from morning to night. He always seemed to justify things he was doing by the bad things in the world, work, etc. It was exhausting, depressing and down right frustrating. I always tried to flip the conversation to something postiive but it always seemed to fall on deaf ears and the conversation continued in the manner he was confortable with. NEGATIVE NEGATIVE NEGATIVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have separated and I do speak to him on occasion and the negative talk seems to fly over my head now ... I guess since I don't deal with it 24/7 it is much easier to hear.

Stay strong and POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love and hugs,

outtolunch

The majority of people in the world would be thrilled to have a miserable job and be unable to sleep well and not because they fear for their lives or where their next meal is going to come from.

It's all a matter of perspective.