Took Mom out Today...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Took Mom out Today...
Hi Everyone...
My sister lives with my Mom, mom is sure showing the signs of age. Her living with mom is helping her and we have the comfort of knowing mom is not alone and should something happen to her, someone is there with her. Sounds good but what has happened is my sister is doing everything for her, sister said well I had to do this and that, Mom is getting so forgetful.
She has been there for 2 years now and it is less and less that my mom goes out, leaves the house....I am talking 3 to 4 months at a time and then only out for a Dr appointment or to get her hair done. Out of a 24 hr day she is sleeping 18hrs. My sister went last Jan to Mexico for 2 weeks and mom sat and counted the days to she would be back.
Now sister left yesterday to visist a friend for 2 weeks, mom becoming more and more upset from the last 6 weeks knowing that she is going away. Playing some games that she is sick....
Sister left yesterday, I took her to the airport, mom called me lastnight and said to let her know what day I would be going for groceries, I said well I was not sure as I have to work nights this week, but I will be down today, she said are you going for groceries, I said well I could would you like to go out, she said yes I would like to go out. Ok I thought, thinking in my mind that she is going to have so excuse in the morning as to why she could not go...well I called her and she is still game to go...ok I said I will pick you up at 2:00 ok...well on my way over I am thinking I bet she is sleeping....Well, I pulling into the driveway and opened up the front door and there she is.....her hair is all done, lipstick on...she looked beautiful....just needed some help getting down the stairs....I took her arm and down she came out the door and in the car and off we went. We got to the grocery store and we each got a buggy, I was walking behind her and asking what she wanted to get...she said I don't know just let me look around! OK, good enough I am going to go about and get what I need and off I went with my buggy and left her to her own....can't say I was not peeking on her...she was just smiling and looking at this and that, had a few things in her buggy, I would walk by thinking what is she putting in there....I saw tomatoes, pate, sardines, bacon, lettuce....hey they looks good to me, then she saw some yogurt grabbed that. Well I think that is all I need, so off we go to the check out and I put her infront of me, she unloaded her buggy and had her money in hand. We got in the car and she said do you know it has been 2 years since I have been in a grocery store.
Then as we are leaving she says now what are we going to do, I said well it is 3:00 do you want to go over to some friends place and have a glass of wine and sit on the deck....oh she said I don't know...I haven't been out with people for so long I might make a fool of myself...I said you will be just fine...well she had so much fun, had 2 glasses of wine, she was telling jokes and laughing...and she was truly funny and she was so welcomed and everyone was so glad to see her out.
I got her home and put away her groceries, she was tired, laid her head down on the sofa and said I just have to close my eyes for 5 minutes, I said well I have to go mom and get my groceries home....she said ok dear...go you think we can go out nextweek for lunch....You Betcha it is a date!
My sister called though out the day to check on her and she got know answer, thought mom was sleeping, depressed and not answering the phone. Then she called my other sister to tell her to call mom to say that she has been trying to call and my brother in law said well I think that you mom is out....She said WHAT! She called while I was there and I said we just got home...she said what is with that, I can't beleive she went out....I said I don't know, but she sure fooled me to, she was all dressed and ready to go when I got there.
I guess where I am going with this is sometimes when we think we are helping and doing, fixing and lifting the burden off other, we are accually hinding their growth...love does not mean we have to take burdens off our loved ones....we have to let go and let one think and do for theirselves...we can kill them with kindness....
Rose
My sister lives with my Mom, mom is sure showing the signs of age. Her living with mom is helping her and we have the comfort of knowing mom is not alone and should something happen to her, someone is there with her. Sounds good but what has happened is my sister is doing everything for her, sister said well I had to do this and that, Mom is getting so forgetful.
She has been there for 2 years now and it is less and less that my mom goes out, leaves the house....I am talking 3 to 4 months at a time and then only out for a Dr appointment or to get her hair done. Out of a 24 hr day she is sleeping 18hrs. My sister went last Jan to Mexico for 2 weeks and mom sat and counted the days to she would be back.
Now sister left yesterday to visist a friend for 2 weeks, mom becoming more and more upset from the last 6 weeks knowing that she is going away. Playing some games that she is sick....
Sister left yesterday, I took her to the airport, mom called me lastnight and said to let her know what day I would be going for groceries, I said well I was not sure as I have to work nights this week, but I will be down today, she said are you going for groceries, I said well I could would you like to go out, she said yes I would like to go out. Ok I thought, thinking in my mind that she is going to have so excuse in the morning as to why she could not go...well I called her and she is still game to go...ok I said I will pick you up at 2:00 ok...well on my way over I am thinking I bet she is sleeping....Well, I pulling into the driveway and opened up the front door and there she is.....her hair is all done, lipstick on...she looked beautiful....just needed some help getting down the stairs....I took her arm and down she came out the door and in the car and off we went. We got to the grocery store and we each got a buggy, I was walking behind her and asking what she wanted to get...she said I don't know just let me look around! OK, good enough I am going to go about and get what I need and off I went with my buggy and left her to her own....can't say I was not peeking on her...she was just smiling and looking at this and that, had a few things in her buggy, I would walk by thinking what is she putting in there....I saw tomatoes, pate, sardines, bacon, lettuce....hey they looks good to me, then she saw some yogurt grabbed that. Well I think that is all I need, so off we go to the check out and I put her infront of me, she unloaded her buggy and had her money in hand. We got in the car and she said do you know it has been 2 years since I have been in a grocery store.
Then as we are leaving she says now what are we going to do, I said well it is 3:00 do you want to go over to some friends place and have a glass of wine and sit on the deck....oh she said I don't know...I haven't been out with people for so long I might make a fool of myself...I said you will be just fine...well she had so much fun, had 2 glasses of wine, she was telling jokes and laughing...and she was truly funny and she was so welcomed and everyone was so glad to see her out.
I got her home and put away her groceries, she was tired, laid her head down on the sofa and said I just have to close my eyes for 5 minutes, I said well I have to go mom and get my groceries home....she said ok dear...go you think we can go out nextweek for lunch....You Betcha it is a date!
My sister called though out the day to check on her and she got know answer, thought mom was sleeping, depressed and not answering the phone. Then she called my other sister to tell her to call mom to say that she has been trying to call and my brother in law said well I think that you mom is out....She said WHAT! She called while I was there and I said we just got home...she said what is with that, I can't beleive she went out....I said I don't know, but she sure fooled me to, she was all dressed and ready to go when I got there.
I guess where I am going with this is sometimes when we think we are helping and doing, fixing and lifting the burden off other, we are accually hinding their growth...love does not mean we have to take burdens off our loved ones....we have to let go and let one think and do for theirselves...we can kill them with kindness....
Rose
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
That's a beautiful story, Rose, and I can feel the joy your shared with your mom today.
I don't know why she was willing today, but maybe try once a week taking her out someplace special, and see how it goes. It would be a break for your sister and a wonderful chance for you and your mom to have some fun.
Hugs
I don't know why she was willing today, but maybe try once a week taking her out someplace special, and see how it goes. It would be a break for your sister and a wonderful chance for you and your mom to have some fun.
Hugs
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
In my county ...we have a Senior Center
I go for luncheons and on day trips with them.
Our monthly covered dish luncheon always has entertainment.
For June...we have an Elvis impersonater
and it's such fun to remember those old songs
Some of us...yes me....dance again.
Anyway....for 5 days a week a senior can catch
a free bus and go for activities and to eat.
They have free bingo with donated small prizes
There is a quilting group....another does
gentle seated excercises ...always conversations and laughter.
This all takes place with supervision ...
costs nothing and is just for those over 60.
I am 72 and considered "middle age" there!
Plese check out what is available in your area.
Your Mom needs stimulation and peer companions.
IMO
I go for luncheons and on day trips with them.
Our monthly covered dish luncheon always has entertainment.
For June...we have an Elvis impersonater
and it's such fun to remember those old songs
Some of us...yes me....dance again.
Anyway....for 5 days a week a senior can catch
a free bus and go for activities and to eat.
They have free bingo with donated small prizes
There is a quilting group....another does
gentle seated excercises ...always conversations and laughter.
This all takes place with supervision ...
costs nothing and is just for those over 60.
I am 72 and considered "middle age" there!
Plese check out what is available in your area.
Your Mom needs stimulation and peer companions.
IMO
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Rose, what an outing for your mom! I wonder why the change? Could be the winter blahs, dangers of ice, then the joy of spring/summer. Whatever it took, I think it was wonderful that you got to spend the day with your momma
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Rose,
That is so true about doing everything for them, that they don't do for themselves.
We can smother them to the point of making them an invalid. I work with the elderly and I try to let them do for theirselves. I only help when I know they absolutely can't.
It also makes them feel good that they are still being somewhat independent.
Thanks for sharing................Lo
That is so true about doing everything for them, that they don't do for themselves.
We can smother them to the point of making them an invalid. I work with the elderly and I try to let them do for theirselves. I only help when I know they absolutely can't.
It also makes them feel good that they are still being somewhat independent.
Thanks for sharing................Lo
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